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“The Widehorn Herd” by Madison Keller

A beaver is engaged to a miniature Texas longhorn bull. They might love each other, but can they learn to live with each other’s families?

Today’s story is “The Widehorn Herd” by Madison Keller, who has won a Coyotl and two LEO Literary Awards, and his newest book is Ritual of the Ancients by Fanged Fiction and you can find more of his stories on his webpage.

Read for you by Khaki, your faithful fireside companion.

Transcript
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You’re listening to The Voice of Dog.

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I’m Khaki, your faithful fireside companion,

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and Today’s story is

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“The Widehorn Herd”

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by Madison Keller,

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who has won a Coyotl and two LEO Literary Awards,

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and his newest book

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is Ritual of the Ancients

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by Fanged Fiction and you can find more of his stories on his webpage.

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“The Widehorn Herd”

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by Madison Keller Sam waddled out of the airport and into the depths of hell.

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The heat washed over her like a wave

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and she stopped walking.

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The sun beat down from a clear blue sky overhead,

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forcing Sam to lift a webbed paw to shield her eyes from the glare.

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The silver and turquoise engagement band slid down her arm.

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Behind her the automatic doors whooshed shut,

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cutting off the glorious flow of cold air.

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Sam took a deep breath

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and forced herself to take another step.

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The dry air seared her nostrils and she swore

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she could feel the skin on the top of her flat tail shriveling in the heat.

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"Here," Oscar, her miniature Longhorn Texas Steer boyfriend, said,

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slipping a pair of sunglasses into her raised paw.

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His matching silver bracelet clinked against hers. "These will

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help with the glare."

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"Thanks." Sam pulled her suitcase upright so she could use both paws to put on the sunglasses.

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Next to her, Oscar gave her an encouraging smile

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and placed a hooved hand on her shoulder.

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His wide horns stuck out from underneath a worn cowboy hat that was almost the same color as his tan fur.

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The cowboy hat, which came off as a hipster affection back in Portland,

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fit right in at the El Paso airport.

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In fact, Sam had never seen so many cowboy hats in her life.

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"So, when do I get to meet your mom?"

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Sam asked, once again grabbing her suitcase handle as Oscar began trotting off across the sidewalk

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towards the curb where a line of cars

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waited to pick up passengers.

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Oscar had told her a lot about his family in preparation for this trip.

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Although he assured her that they would love her,

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Sam was still nervous.

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Interspecies couples were not unheard of,

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but a steer marrying a beaver was still a bit of a stretch for most people to accept.

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Sam's own mother had taken it in stride,

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although the first question out of her mouth had been when they planned to adopt grand-kits for her to spoil.

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Sam had assured her that they planned to soon,

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but failed to mention that they planned to try to adopt both a kit and a calf.

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They stopped at the curb

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and a black SUV pulled away to reveal a small herd of full-size longhorn steers crossing the blacktop.

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Traffic was stopped in both directions

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as the group pounded across the street.

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Sam didn't pay them much mind,

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at least until Oscar backed up into her with a groan.

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"Oscar, darling!" The lead cow of the group stopped directly in front of Oscar.

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Sam almost shrieked

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as the rest of the herd surrounded the two of them.

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All Sam could see was knobby cow knees and udders.

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The massive cows and steers seemed to block out the sun as they loomed over the pair of them.

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Sam dropped her suitcase handle

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and grabbed hold of Oscar's arm,

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burying her head into his side.

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Oscar had warned her that his family was not miniature, like him.

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Sam had assured him that she could handle being around a few full sized cattle, but the reality was a bit more overwhelming than she’d imagined it would be.

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"Hi, Mom," Oscar said grimly,

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wrapping his arm around Sam's shoulder

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and pulling her forward.

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"I'd like you to meet my fiancé,

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Samantha Digger." Emboldened by the familiar weight of Oscar's arm on her shoulders,

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Sam pulled her snout out of Oscar's shirt

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and stared up, and up,

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and up, at the massive Longhorn cow that loomed over them,

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more than twice Oscar's size.

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The cow had the same tan-colored fur as Oscar,

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although hers was speckled with white spots,

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with a distinctive white blotch on her muzzle between her eyes.

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Sam's eyes went wide

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as she recognized Oscar’s mom.

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"Well, we're all happy to welcome you to the Widehorn Herd, Samantha.

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Samantha." Oscar's mom squatted down,

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but she still had to bend over to get her hoof-tipped hand down low enough for Sam to reach.

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In a daze, Sam reached out and shook.

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"Call me Sam, Mrs. Widehorn."

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"Sam, of course. I'd be honored if you call me Goldy.

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Goldy." Goldy gave Sam's arm a gentle shake.

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"Or Mom." "Uh, thank you, Goldy.

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Goldy." Before she knew it, Sam, clinging tightly to Oscar,

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was swept along with the herd.

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Along the way to the parked truck a whirlwind of Longhorns introduced themselves to her.

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A few she recognized from Oscar's photos,

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like his older sister Lucy, a tan cow with a smattering of white spots;

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his older brother Holster,

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a dusty brown steer;

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and his youngest sister Betty, a black cow.

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The rest flew by in a flurry of names.

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"How many siblings do you have again?"

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Sam whispered to Oscar as they buckled themselves into the front seat of Goldy's truck.

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Sam was grateful that Goldy’s truck only sat three,

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allowing her to escape the press of Oscar's enthusiastic family.

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"I guess it depends how you define ‘sibling’,"

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Oscar said, waving out the window at yet more Longhorns as Goldy pulled the truck out of the parking spot.

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The half-a-dozen Longhorns that had accompanied Goldy

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crammed themselves into the bed of the truck behind them.

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Sam blinked. "It does?"

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"Of course. Are you counting every child born into the herd around my age or after?

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Or just those I grew up around?"

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Oscar put his hooved-hand over her paw

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and gave her a reassuring gentle squeeze.

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The herd. She'd known, intellectually, that cattle were a herd species,

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but it was quite a different thing to be surrounded by that herd.

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"Oh." She pondered for a moment.

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“I guess when I say sibling I mean those who have the same biological parents as you.”

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“Well, Goldy had six other calves besides me,

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but only three of them are still with the Widehorn Herd.”

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Oscar smiled at her.

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“Really?” Six? But she hadn’t seen any other miniature cows in the group at the airport.

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“Um, forgive me for asking, but uh, why—"

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"Are they all so much bigger than me?"

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Oscar snorted and stared at the dash,

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refusing to meet her eyes.

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"Sometimes it happens,

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that a full-size cow breeds a miniature like me.

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me." Sam gave him a smile and turned her paw over,

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so she could squeeze his hoof back.

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"Well, I'm glad you're the size you are.

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are." Oscar glanced at her

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and flashed her a grin.

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They came to a stop at a light

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and Goldy leaned down to pat her son's shoulder.

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"We are so happy to see you again, Oscar.

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Oscar." Oscar shrugged. "Sure.

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"Sure." His grip on Sam's paw tightened and he kicked a back hoof like he was pawing at grass.

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However, on these seats sized for a full-size cow his hooves didn’t touch the floor.

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Sam frowned, but didn't want to ask him what was wrong with his mother right there.

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She'd wait until they got back to the house

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and were alone in their room together.

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Instead, she tried to change the subject.

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"So, Oscar, when do I get to meet your father?"

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Goldy let out a peel of laughter.

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"You might have already, deary!"

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"I might have?" Sam blinked at this non-answer.

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"Most cattle aren't monogamous,"

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Oscar said with a shrug.

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"We usually take a herd-name instead of a family name,

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and relationships are with the herd as a whole, not with any specific individual within it.

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it." Sam's eyes grew wide and she glanced down at her silver-and-turquoise engagement bracelet.

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Why hadn't Oscar said anything when he proposed to her?

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"But—" Oscar brought her paw up to his muzzle and kissed it.

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"I said most." His eyes danced with amusement as he smiled down to her.

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"I know beavers mate for life with their partner.

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I wouldn't have proposed if I didn't mean it.

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it." Sam relaxed against him and spent the rest of the ride watching the desert scenery fly by outside the window,

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while Oscar pointed out local landmarks.

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Sam was fascinated.

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So much sand. And cactuses.

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And sage brush. In the distance mountains towered over the flat landscape.

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"I always thought cactuses were taller,"

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Sam said, staring out of the truck window.

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They'd stopped at a light

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and she got a good look at one of the cactuses.

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It looked like a dinner plate set on its side,

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with only a few visible spikes.

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The typical cactus she'd always seen in pictures was

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tall with bent arms coming out of the side.

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Oscar laughed and leaned over to plant a kiss on her head between her ears above the sunglasses.

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"There are hundreds of different types, Sammy."

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"I'll give you a tour when we get to the ranch!"

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Goldy mooed happily.

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"I have a cactus garden out back.

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Some of them have the most brilliant flowers." "Cactuses have

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flowers?" Sam leaned into Oscar,

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sitting in the middle seat, so she could stare up at Goldy.

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Oscar fell silent while his mom told Sam all about her garden,

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her hobby when she wasn’t at her lawyer job.

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Sam sat listening in fascination.

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Growing up in the Pacific Northwest,

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Sam knew next to nothing about desert plants.

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Before she knew it,

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Goldy pulled off the main highway

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and they bumped down an unpaved road.

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Plumes of dust trailed in their wake.

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Goldy stopped the truck in front of the biggest house Sam had ever seen.

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It had clearly started out life as an old human ranch house,

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which she recognized from her work in Portland's human neighborhoods,

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but had been added onto over the years.

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Several additional stories,

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the wood construction clashing with the brickwork of the original house,

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rose up above her.

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To either side,

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wings jutted out of the house at odd angles,

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every one built in a slightly different style than the last.

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"Welcome to Widehorn Ranch!"

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Goldy and all the rest of the cattle in the truck-bed mooed.

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"Wow," was all Sam managed to get out before the passenger door was opened by Betty,

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one of Oscar's sisters

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recognizable by her distinctive black fur,

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the only black Longhorn she'd seen in the huge gathering.

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Up on the truck's seat,

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she was about five feet off the ground.

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When she unbuckled her seatbelt and stood on the seat,

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that almost put her at eye level with Betty.

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"Come on, Samantha,

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I want to give you the tour!"

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Betty held out a hoof-hand.

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A long line of Longhorns in every coloration,

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size, and shape streamed away from the bed of the truck,

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sending up more dust as they went.

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A dull roar of conversation

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followed the pounding thuds of their hooves on the dirt.

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"Thanks," Sam yelled over the noise,

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gratefully wrapping a paw around one of Betty's

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hoof-like fingers

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and allowing the cow to help her down from the truck.

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Climbing up here with her short legs had been hard enough

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that Sam had honestly been wondering

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how she was going to get down.

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Unlike Oscar's hoof

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-hand which was only slightly larger than her own webbed paws,

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Betty's hand was almost twice the size of hers.

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Once she was down,

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Sam turned around intending to offer Oscar some help,

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but he shook his horned head

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and just jumped. He landed next to her with a thud of his back hooves on the ground

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in a puff of dust.

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"Show off," Sam whispered to him,

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and Oscar grinned and winked back at her.

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By now most of the herd had passed by,

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and Sam could finally hear herself think again.

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He opened his muzzle,

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but before he could respond his mother Goldy's voice called from the other side of the truck,

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"Oscar, come help me put away luggage while Betty shows your fiancé around."

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"Coming, Mom!" Oscar called back,

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giving both her and Betty another fleeting smile before clopping off.

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"Wait, I'll come help. It's my luggage, too." Sam waddled after him.

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Betty stepped between her and the retreating Oscar,

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a scandalized look on her long face.

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"You're a guest. Guests don't do work.

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Besides, I'm excited to meet my new herd-mate.

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-mate." Sam squeaked. "Herd-mate?

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What does that mean?"

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"It means that you’re now officially part of the Widehorn Herd.

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Herd." Betty grinned and leaned over to hug Sam.

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Sam uncomfortably got up on the toes of her webbed paws and stiffly accepted the embrace with Betty.

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Betty finally let go and stood.

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"Come on, I can't wait to show you the house."

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"Alright," Sam said, reluctantly following Betty.

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Up close the house looked less like a human house.

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The doorway had been expanded to almost twice its original size to accommodate the cattle's wide horns.

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Sam struggled to keep up with Betty's

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huge strides as she burst through the door.

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Just inside, a group of cattle were lounging around on couches

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in what looked like a living room area,

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watching a soccer game on a screen

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that took up most of the far wall.

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Framed photographs of Longhorns

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covered every other speck of wall space available.

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As she and Betty walked in, one of the lounging cattle picked up a remote

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and muted the TV, and then

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the entire group turned to look at them.

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Betty waved to the group as they walked through,

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names spilling from her lips like a torrent of rain drops.

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"This is Bob, Rick, Steve, Irma, Torn, and Ally.

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All, this is Oscar's fiancé, Samantha." "Hi,

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Samantha!" "Nice to meet you!"

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With all the cows and steers bellowing their hellos at once,

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the noise was tremendous.

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Sam stepped back, her paws lifting to cover her ears before she could stop herself.

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She turned the motion

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into a double-pawed wave at the assembled cattle.

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Betty gestured for Sam to follow her.

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They went through one of the three extra-wide interior doors into a dining room.

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More cattle sat in here,

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playing a game of cards at one end of the longest kitchen table that Sam had ever seen.

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Poor carpentry work revealed where a wall of the

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original house had been removed

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and the room extended.

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Some of the beams were visible behind the badly set dry-wall sheets.

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Again, Betty did introductions, but Sam's head was already so full of names

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that she couldn't keep up.

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Like before, happy bellowed greetings came from all of the cattle.

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All of them looked excited to meet her.

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Sam waved and followed Betty into the next room.

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The tour seemed to go on for

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hours, room after room,

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and all of them packed with cattle.

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Sam started to feel like she'd fallen into a dream,

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reliving her traumatic experience of last summer,

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again lost in the Winchester Mystery House,

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only this time with cattle instead of hares.

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Sam’s family was flying in for the wedding in a few days.

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They were staying at a hotel, thankfully,

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but she realized she better call and warn her few family members

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about the sheer size

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and overwhelming nature of Oscar’s family

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so they weren’t caught by surprise.

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They entered yet another room,

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but this one had a normal-sized door that Betty had to turn sideways to enter.

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Inside the room was blessedly empty.

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A big bed took up most of the floor space.

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Her and Oscar's bags sat inside the open closet.

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"Finally, blessed silence.

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silence." Sam would have collapsed on the bed right then except

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that Betty was still with her. In fact,

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the only thing she wanted more than a nap in an empty room was a swim.

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It had been over twenty-four hours since she'd been in the water,

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and her fur felt dust-coated and too dry.

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Betty gave her a curious look.

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"You like silence?

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It always makes my fur crawl to be in a room by myself.

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myself." "I love it," Sam said, waddling further into the room,

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headed for her luggage.

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Oscar had warned her about the dust,

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and she'd packed the biggest package of fur-wet wipes

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that she'd been able to find at the store into her suitcase.

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"Honestly, there are so many of you, it's a little overwhelming."

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"Well," Betty smiled.

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"I'm sure you'll get used to it quickly.

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After all, you’re part of the herd now."

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"What?" Sam stopped,

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clutching her engagement bracelet as she turned to stare at Betty,

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her eyes wide. "You said something like that earlier.

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What do you mean?"

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Betty gave her a puzzled blink of her wide brown eyes

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and sat down on the edge of the bed.

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"The herd is both a family and a community.

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community." Betty scuffed a broad back hoof into the carpet,

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a move that Sam often saw Oscar do when he was nervous or thinking.

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"Aren’t you and Oscar moving into the house after the wedding to live with us?

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That’s what usually happens.

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The bride and groom pick one of their herds to live with and

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after the wedding they move in with the rest of the herd.

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Oscar didn’t tell us he was leaving our herd for yours, so that means you’re moving in after the wedding.”

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She hesitated. “Right?”

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Sam stared at Betty,

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eyes wide and mouth gaping.

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It took her a few moments of opening and closing her mouth before she could get words to come out.

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“I… Guess I just assumed we were flying back to Portland?”

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Had Sam misunderstood Oscar?

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Is that why he’d wanted the wedding to be in New Mexico, rather than Portland?

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This was too much to think about right now.

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Sam shook her head and turned her back to Betty.

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She waddled over to her suitcase, unzipped it, and pulled a few wet-wipes from the package.

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When she turned around,

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Betty had her front hands balled around the edge of her t-shirt,

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which she was twisting nervously.

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Sam snapped open the first wipe

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and began scrubbing at the fur of her neck.

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“I wonder…” Betty’s ears drooped down the side of her head.

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“Herd is family,

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yet I always felt like Oscar thought he wasn't as welcome as the rest of us, because of his small size.

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Although we always tried to treat him just like everyone else.

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else." Betty shook her head.

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Sam nervously eyed the big horns as they swung around.

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Betty's confession made Oscar's less than enthusiastic greeting to his mother make more sense.

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"But he always seemed so happy when he was telling me about his family when we were back at home.

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I can tell he loves all of you."

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"I thought so, but then he left us and moved to Portland.

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Portland." Betty sighed. "I'm sorry.

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I shouldn't be bothering you with my problems."

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"No, it's—" The door creaked open

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and Oscar walked through.

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Goldy ducked, turning her head sideways

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and leaning down slightly to fit through the door.

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It was surreal seeing them together like that;

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the top of Oscar's head only came up to his mother's navel,

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yet other than that they looked so similar:

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same tan colored fur,

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same long cow face,

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same wide brown horns,

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even their horns curved up at the same angle.

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She hadn't realized how much variation there could be in Longhorn horn shape

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until she met some of Oscar's herd.

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Even Goldy's white splotch was in the same place as Oscar's white diamond would have been

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if it wasn't covered with fur make-up.

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"Hi, Oscar." Her relief was palpable.

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She had so many thing she wanted to talk with him about alone.

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She walked up to give him a hug, which he returned,

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enveloping her in his familiar and comforting scent.

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“Oscar,” Betty said,

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“Sam says you’ll be going back to Portland after the wedding, but you didn’t warn us all you are leaving the herd.”

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Her big, brown eyes filled with unshed tears.

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“Beavers don’t have herds,”

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Oscar said, turning to face Betty

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and draping his arm over Sam's shoulders.

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“I’m not leaving the herd,

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but we won’t be living here.”

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Relief washed through Sam at Oscar’s words.

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“It won’t be the same.”

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Betty dashed tears from her eyes

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and pushed past Goldy out of the room.

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“I have to get to work,

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nice meeting you, Sam,”

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she called back over her shoulder

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as she retreated down the hallway.

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“Betty--” Sam began, but it was too late;

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she was gone.

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“Son,” Goldy said. “Betty has a point. Won't

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you feel more comfortable moving back home with your family after the wedding?”

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Oscar shot his mother a slight frown.

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“Sam and I hadn’t discussed moving.”

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Goldy knelt to look Sam in the eyes

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and placed a large hand on Sam’s shoulder.

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“Please consider it.

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It doesn’t matter that you’re beaver,

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the whole herd will accept you since Oscar does.

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We all miss him and would love for him to move home.

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We’d all do our best to make both of you welcome.”

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Sam nodded, but privately thought it was far too dry here for a beaver to survive.

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“We’ll talk about it.”

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Oscar glanced at Sam. “But for now,

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Sam’s looking a little overwhelmed.”

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Sam bobbed her head,

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her eyes wide. “We’ll be down for dinner, and we can discuss the rest of the wedding plans then.

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In the meantime, I think Sam needs a little alone time.”

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Goldy smiled in understanding and stood back up.

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“Of course, dear. And please, do discuss my offer too.”

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With that, Goldy turned and ducked her way back out of Oscar’s tiny room.

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Sam gave him a grateful squeeze as the door shut behind Goldy.

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"Your family is nice, but there are just so many of them."

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"Yeah, sorry." "You don't have anything to be sorry for.

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for." Sam loosened her arms

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and stepped back to regard him.

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"Well, ok, yes, you should be sorry for not warning me I’d be considered part of the herd because of this wedding.

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wedding." Oscar ducked his head,

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the insides of his wide ears turning red.

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"Sorry, I just didn’t even think about telling you.

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It’s one of those things that everyone knows,

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I mean, something that everybody Southwest knows.

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I can see how it caught you by surprise though, since Portland doesn’t have any of the herd family like the Southwest.

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Southwest." Sam got up on her tip-toes, using her wide, flat tail to balance,

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and grabbed one of his horns

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to pull his head down to her.

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She pecked a kiss onto the side of his nose,

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right where the snout began turning into hair.

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"It’s fine. I love you.

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I can understand why you didn’t think to warn me." "So,

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um, what did you think of them?"

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Oscar turned his head, leaning down towards her so that she could

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drop back down to stand flat while he nuzzled the side of her neck,

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making her glad she'd cleaned with the wet wipes.

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"They're loud," she said honestly.

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"But everyone seemed so excited to see me.

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It was weird." "It's always like this when the herd expands.

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expands." Oscar grinned and ran a hooved finger down her back in the way she liked.

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"So, what does being a part of the herd mean, exactly?"

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Oscar stepped back

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and took both of her webbed paws into his hands.

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"It's like..." His voice trailed off and his eyes went distant,

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flicking back and forth as he struggled to find words.

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"Well, you know how we're friends with the Doberman couple in the apartment next to ours?"

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"Yes." Sam smiled. Oscar had met the Dobermans while moving into the apartment. They'd

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hosted a welcoming dinner

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when Sam moved in with him last year,

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and were house sitting the apartment for them right now.

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That was something that Sam loved about Oscar.

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One evening as she and Oscar had gotten back from a date,

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they'd rode up in the elevator with the dingo that lived a few floors above them.

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By the time she and Oscar had gotten off on their floor,

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he and the dingo were best friends and he'd convinced the dog to join their weekly tabletop role-playing game.

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"Well, having a herd is like having an entire community of best friends."

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"I thought it was just you and me?" "Well,

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yes, it'll be you and me.

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But, also us and the herd."

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"If its so wonderful,

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why'd you leave it to move to Portland?"

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Sam slapped her tail on the carpet.

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“And you didn’t seem very excited about your mom and sister's offer to move back.”

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At this, Oscar's wide eyes filled with tears and he turned away.

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"I have missed them, but also,

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at the same time,

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I didn't feel like I fit in here.

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I felt smothered.

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I wanted to prove to myself I had what it took to make it on my own.

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own." Sam barked out a laugh,

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remembering what it felt like at the airport to be surrounded by the bigger cattle.

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"Smothered is one way to put it, yes.

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yes." Oscar sniffed and turned back to her.

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He rubbed his forehead,

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where the white triangle of fur was hidden by fur make-up.

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Sam smiled as she remembered their first date,

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where everything had seemed to go wrong

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and how she'd found out about it in the first place.

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"No one ever made fun of my size. But,

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I don't know, sometimes I don't feel like a Longhorn.

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What kind of cattle am I,

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living away from my own herd?

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But at the same time,

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I don’t want to move back.

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back." Sam waddled forward

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and threw her arms around his chest.

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"We'll make our own herd, together in Portland."

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"What? But, I'm part of the Widehorn Herd.

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Herd." Sam lifted her arm,

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showing him the bracelet he'd given her

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and then touched his matching one.

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"Of course you are,

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that will never change.

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They'll always be your herd, too.

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But, you said that a herd is like a community.

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You've also been building your own community in Portland,

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with your neighbors.

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Your friends. Me." "Be part of more than one herd?"

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Oscar's soft, brown eyes went wide

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as he stared down at their matching bracelets.

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"Why not? I understand not feeling like you fit in.

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My entire family are carpenters. It's the family business.

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All of my brothers and sisters joined the family business when they were old enough, except me.

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I like being a cop, but I struggle with that, too.

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Did you know I'm the only beaver on the force?"

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She took a big breath.

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"Anyway, what I'm saying is that community is what you make of it."

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"I never thought of it like that...

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that..." Oscar trailed off and then leaned forward, pulling her into a tight hug.

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"Part of the Widehorn Herd,

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but also part of my own herd in Portland.

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Portland." Sam grinned up at him,

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and on a whim got back up on her tiptoes,

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grabbed the cowboy hat from his head

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and plopped it on her own.

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Much too big for her, it promptly fell down to cover her eyes,

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and she had to hold the brim up with her paw to look up at Oscar.

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"So, if I'm an honorary cow,

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does that mean I have to wear one of these now?"

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He laughed and pushed the hat back farther so that

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he could lean in and kiss her.

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When they broke apart several minutes later,

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the hat was on the floor,

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and was quickly buried by the rest of their clothing.

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Goldy called out on the other side of their door,

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“Oscar, Sam, time for dinner!”

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and the knob rattled.

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“MOM, no!” they both shouted.

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This was “The Widehorn Herd”

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by Madison Keller,

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read for you by Khaki,

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your faithful fireside companion.

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You can find more stories on the web at thevoice.dog,

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or find the show wherever you get your podcasts.

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Thank you for listening

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to The Voice of Dog.

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About the Podcast

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The Voice of Dog
Furry stories to warm the ol' cockles, read by Rob MacWolf and guests. If you have a story that would suit the show, you can get in touch with @VoiceOfDog@meow.social on Mastodon, @voiceofdog.bsky.social on Blue Sky, or @Theodwulf on Telegram.

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About your host

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Khaki