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“The Other Side of the Mirror” by KiDra (part 2 of 2)
Facing the past and venturing further in VR, will Gideon's life turn for the better? What did he find on the Other Side of the Mirror?
Today’s story is the second and final part of “The Other Side of the Mirror” by KiDra, who explores the nature of life, love and belonging in his works. You can find more of his stories at kidra.sofurry.com
Last time, Gideon came home from work on a Friday evening, tired and annoyed, a dreadful meeting up ahead on next Tuesday. Wanting to forget about it all he went on a journey in virtual reality and found an unexpected companion on the other side of the mirror, who followed him into his dreams.
Read for you by Khaki, your faithful fireside companion.
Transcript
You’re listening to The Voice of Dog. I’m Khaki, your faithful fireside companion,
Speaker:and today’s story is the second and final part of
Speaker:“The Other Side of the Mirror”
Speaker:by KiDra, who explores the nature of life, love and belonging
Speaker:in his works. You can find more of his stories at kidra.sofurry.com
Speaker:Last time, Gideon came home from work on a Friday evening,
Speaker:tired and annoyed,
Speaker:a dreadful meeting up ahead on next Tuesday.
Speaker:Wanting to forget about it all
Speaker:he went on a journey in virtual reality
Speaker:and found an unexpected companion on the other side of the mirror,
Speaker:who followed him
Speaker:into his dreams. Please enjoy:
Speaker:“The Other Side of the Mirror”
Speaker:by KiDra, Part 2
Speaker:of 2 When he woke the next day, it was just shy of noon.
Speaker:Out of habit he went to his computer,
Speaker:but this time did not sit down.
Speaker:Instead, he looked at the photos on a shelf next to his desk.
Speaker:Over the years these framed memories have turned into background noise he no longer consciously noticed,
Speaker:but this time he did. One was a class photo from highschool.
Speaker:He knew all the faces well,
Speaker:but could not say what became of them.
Speaker:Some contacts broke right after graduation.
Speaker:Despite his efforts,
Speaker:others faded away over time
Speaker:and some he had to remove from his life.
Speaker:“Shame.” He said. He put the photo back
Speaker:and looked at the next.
Speaker:A happy family with many people crammed into one frame.
Speaker:There he was in the picture;
Speaker:just a boy about to enter his rebellious phase.
Speaker:Next to him, an arm around his son
Speaker:and with a proud look on his face,
Speaker:his late father. Many years after his father had passed away,
Speaker:it became painfully clear
Speaker:that he was the one keeping the family together.
Speaker:He wondered if this was normal,
Speaker:bound to happen; just another stage in life.
Speaker:The natural end of childhood, maybe?
Speaker:Instead of sitting down at his desk,
Speaker:he sat in his recliner,
Speaker:the framed picture still in hand.
Speaker:Yesterday, he was with a close friend
Speaker:and surrounded by people,
Speaker:today the stark contrast felt all more pressing to him.
Speaker:He indeed thought that maybe he had not gotten used to solitude,
Speaker:but really only numb to how it felt.
Speaker:The family photo brought back memories
Speaker:from a time when he felt different.
Speaker:It made him remember
Speaker:what was in the wooden chest.
Speaker:He put his mug down
Speaker:and pulled open a drawer.
Speaker:Inside, he found the familiar sight of his old comic books.
Speaker:Holding one awakened long buried away emotions he had felt
Speaker:when his dad first gifted it to him -
Speaker:as if the paper was soaked with time long gone.
Speaker:Gideon sat down and read.
Speaker:It was Digimon Adventures V
Speaker:-Tamer 01, a manga his father had gifted him,
Speaker:because he knew how much Gideon liked the TV show.
Speaker:When he reached chapter nine,
Speaker:he had to smile. “If only I were a little younger,
Speaker:I could fight that demon myself…”
Speaker:He read and wondered if not everybody had a demon in their life
Speaker:that could not be slain alone.
Speaker:As he read on all the details he had forgotten came back,
Speaker:and with them forgotten memories and emotions.
Speaker:The feeling of being sheltered
Speaker:and part of a family that kept together,
Speaker:the lack of everyday worries outside of school
Speaker:and a basic trust in the world.
Speaker:There always was somebody
Speaker:to offer guidance
Speaker:and to help in times of need.
Speaker:Usually it was difficult to focus for hours on one thing, like reading.
Speaker:Today he was not only reading,
Speaker:but sinking into old,
Speaker:fond sensations - feeling young again.
Speaker:Hours passed; a pile of comic books was read
Speaker:before he returned from this journey.
Speaker:The room was getting dark with the sun setting.
Speaker:Warmth and calm radiated from his chest like it hasn’t
Speaker:in decades. Gideon wanted to see that protogen again
Speaker:and felt antsy to get back into the virtual world.
Speaker:After logging in
Speaker:he looked at himself for a while in the mirror,
Speaker:the protogen smiling back.
Speaker:“Well… hello there.
Speaker:It’s good to see you, too.”
Speaker:Spartan came online and joined him.
Speaker:“Gideon? Is that really you?”
Speaker:“Well, last I checked.
Speaker:So, what do you think?”
Speaker:“I didn’t expect you to show up as a protogen.”
Speaker:“To be honest, I don’t yet understand it myself,
Speaker:but I feel a connection to this one.”
Speaker:“What sort of connection?”
Speaker:“I felt I saw myself in the mirror as this
Speaker:protogen. I don’t know where it comes from, though.
Speaker:Well, sorry that I can’t put it into better words,
Speaker:but I guess it makes me happy.”
Speaker:“Then that’s all that matters.
Speaker:So this is your new fursona now?” Spartan asked. “I haven’t thought about it that way,
Speaker:but yes, I think it is.”
Speaker:“To be honest, I think it suits you.
Speaker:How does it feel to no longer be the fox you were for so long?”
Speaker:Gideon thought for a moment.
Speaker:“Weird. Like bidding farewell to an old friend, but then again, I am just me.
Speaker:So maybe I should call it an evolution?” “Hm,
Speaker:interesting way to put it.
Speaker:There’s something familiar about your avatar.
Speaker:It reminds me of something.”
Speaker:“What would that be?”
Speaker:“I don’t know yet.
Speaker:I feel it’s sitting on the tip of my tongue.”
Speaker:“Well, now I am curious.”
Speaker:“If I remember I’ll tell you.
Speaker:But hey, our talk yesterday made me think.”
Speaker:“About what?” “The Fandom.
Speaker:We’ve been here for decades and looking back I see a few things different now.
Speaker:Maybe some folks
Speaker:think that we older furs have no more place in the Fandom, but needless to say that’s far from true.
Speaker:I think we’ve a lot to offer.”
Speaker:“Like what?” Through the headset
Speaker:Gideon could hear Blue talking to Spartan.
Speaker:“Oh, bummer. Sorry buddy,
Speaker:but the kids need me.
Speaker:It shouldn’t take long.
Speaker:Can I get back to you in about
Speaker:half an hour?” “Of course,
Speaker:I will go ahead and explore a bit.
Speaker:Come join me when you get back.”
Speaker:“Sounds good.” Gideon felt relieved.
Speaker:He was glad Spartan liked his new look.
Speaker:Yet he felt there was something deeper going on.
Speaker:On the list of worlds
Speaker:there was one that resembled a beach with two moons in the sky.
Speaker:It felt like the right place to ponder a bit.
Speaker:When he arrived, he was not alone, though.
Speaker:On the beach stood an odd couple:
Speaker:A tall and overly muscular man in green sci-fi looking armor,
Speaker:wearing a helmet,
Speaker:and a small, anthropomorphic, yellow dog in a skirt,
Speaker:whose head reminded Gideon of a bell.
Speaker:He heard the dog shouting.
Speaker:“You never listen to me!”
Speaker:“My god, I’ve been listening to you all evening.
Speaker:I’ve got a test tomorrow and haven’t prepared yet, but still here I am.”
Speaker:The big guy said.
Speaker:She vanished moments later.
Speaker:“Oh great, amazing,
Speaker:just leave me standing here like a bloody idiot.”
Speaker:It did not feel right to just leave now.
Speaker:Gideon thought he might as well offer an ear
Speaker:and without further hesitation
Speaker:approached the stranger.
Speaker:“Hey, you alright?” “Eh, what?”
Speaker:“It sounded like you were fighting.
Speaker:I just teleported in and
Speaker:it was hard not to overhear.
Speaker:Sorry for that, but yeah,
Speaker:are you alright?” “Hmpf, no.
Speaker:She’s my girlfriend and always gives me this shit.
Speaker:She claims I never listen.
Speaker:Just spent an hour letting her chew off my ear. I don’t
Speaker:get it.” Gideon had a hunch of what this was about,
Speaker:something Spartan once explained to him. “Hm,
Speaker:did she tell you about a problem she had?” “Erm,
Speaker:yeah, she did. Why?”
Speaker:“Well, did you just listen to her or did you try to help her find a solution to her problem?” “Course I tried to help her.
Speaker:I love her. What good’s just
Speaker:talking when it doesn’t lead to a solution?” “Hm,
Speaker:I get you. Well, do you want my input on this?”
Speaker:“I thought that’s why we’re talking?”
Speaker:“Right. To her it may have been more important to share her emotions with you.”
Speaker:“What do you mean?”
Speaker:“I guess when she told you about her problem, she wasn’t interested in finding a solution,
Speaker:but that she wanted to share her emotions with you and feel comfortable being vulnerable with you.
Speaker:We men tend to be different in that regard
Speaker:and want to find solutions to problems right away.
Speaker:You wanted to help her
Speaker:and tried to work on a solution with her?
Speaker:Maybe she couldn’t see what you wanted to do for her?”
Speaker:There was a prolonged pause,
Speaker:and Gideon just waited.
Speaker:“That does make sense...
Speaker:Oh blast, I can see now what you mean.
Speaker:It makes sense.
Speaker:So I was wrong.” “No, you two were simply not on the same page.
Speaker:There’s no right or wrong here,
Speaker:just different ways of thinking.”
Speaker:“Okay? So how do you know all this?”
Speaker:“Life experience? A friend of mine is married,
Speaker:and it pays to listen.”
Speaker:“It pays to listen, yeah well.”
Speaker:The stranger sighed.
Speaker:“I am doomed anyway.
Speaker:I have a test tomorrow,
Speaker:and I put off studying for her.”
Speaker:“Difficult topic?” “Physics class.
Speaker:We’re learning about electricity and that’s so boring.
Speaker:I can’t wrap my head around voltage, current and all that jazz.
Speaker:The formulas make little sense, and I’m
Speaker:not good at just learning stuff by heart for the sake of it. I mix up the units
Speaker:and don’t get what’s what.
Speaker:It’s all so dry and dull.”
Speaker:“It sounds like they didn’t teach the basics right.
Speaker:It’s easy once you understand what electricity is.” “Is it now?” “Yeah. Imagine a water tank connected to a pipe. The amount of charge is the amount of water,
Speaker:and the pressure of the water is voltage.
Speaker:When the water is flowing,
Speaker:the flow rate or current
Speaker:is amperage and the resistance
Speaker:is the diameter of the pipe. So,
Speaker:a generator is
Speaker:like a water pump.” “Wait, wait, wait… really?
Speaker:Can you explain that a bit further?”
Speaker:Gideon went on to give the stranger a more detailed explanation
Speaker:of how this water analogy related to the real physics of electricity with
Speaker:conductors, electrons and more real-world examples.
Speaker:They went back and forth with questions and answers
Speaker:until the tall guy stopped him, thinking for a moment.
Speaker:“What the heck, it makes so much more sense now.
Speaker:We jumped right to joules and coulombs,
Speaker:being like one amp for one second without getting behind those units.
Speaker:Why don’t they explain it like this in the first place?”
Speaker:“Beats me, but hey,
remember this:Energy is work.
remember this:Just like a water pump has to turn to make water flow,
remember this:a generator has to turn to make electrons flow.
remember this:We transfer work,
remember this:the movement of turning,
remember this:into energy that flows through the power line
remember this:and at the other end transforms into work again.
remember this:This can be the rotation of a fan, for example.
remember this:That’s why we are doing all this.”
remember this:“Look, I’m really grateful,
remember this:but why are you helping me?
remember this:You came out of nowhere and spent all this time giving me relationship advice and explaining my school stuff to me.”
remember this:“Because the world would be a better place if we all just
remember this:helped each other in the small ways that we can.
remember this:I guess I was lucky that I had something to share today,
remember this:but hey, the Fandom needs some positive energy
remember this:and to get energy,
remember this:you need to put work into it.”
remember this:“Alright, alright, I get it. Jeez, man,
remember this:is everything electricity to you?”
remember this:“You ask that of a protogen?” “Pff,
remember this:lol, okay. Hey man, thanks so much,
remember this:I appreciate it,
remember this:you may have saved my butt.
remember this:I should leave now, though.
remember this:I want to go over my books and let this sink in.”
remember this:“Good idea, and it was my pleasure.
remember this:Good luck for the test.”
remember this:The stranger was waving his hands,
remember this:working the invisible menu,
remember this:but before he vanished,
remember this:Gideon received a friend request from him. ‘Guess
remember this:I made a friend today.’
remember this:He thought and accepted.
remember this:Gideon thought about his own analogy,
remember this:that energy is work.
remember this:He had a feeling that a deeper truth lay in this simple explanation.
remember this:Maybe even something that was true to life itself.
remember this:Looking out onto the ocean,
remember this:the haze in the distance hiding what lay beyond,
remember this:he let his thoughts fish for this truth that he was trying to grasp.
remember this:“Hey Gideon.” Spartan said.
remember this:Gideon turned around and saw his friend standing there.
remember this:“Hey, good to have you back.”
remember this:“Yeah, I’m back for a while now.
remember this:Saw you helping that guy and did not want to interrupt. You really
remember this:made a difference there and
remember this:honestly, I am glad to see you being so outgoing.”
remember this:“Well, if you think so,
remember this:thanks, buddy. I did not feel that different, though.”
remember this:“Trust me, you were,
remember this:but in a good way.
remember this:You hide your light too often.”
remember this:It felt good to hear this from Spartan,
remember this:but he did not know how to respond.
remember this:Luckily, his friend continued the conversation.
remember this:“You were looking out onto the ocean when I greeted you.
remember this:Was something specific on your mind?”
remember this:“I’ve been thinking about what I just explained to that guy.
remember this:I think I learned something about myself while we were talking.”
remember this:“Really? What would that be?”
remember this:“I think my life began to feel stagnant,
remember this:because out of habit I tried to
remember this:unwind when I felt overwhelmed.
remember this:I thought I would need to
remember this:ease the pressure once I got into the adult routine of working full time.”
remember this:Gideon shook his head. “This must sound so stupid,
remember this:but doing this here now,
remember this:I see I was adjusting the wrong parameter.”
remember this:“No, it doesn’t sound stupid.
remember this:Go on, now I want to know the rest of it.”
remember this:“Well… ah god, okay. Look,
remember this:a system is built to certain specs to function. As I explained to that stranger, you cannot change the voltage, the pressure at will,
remember this:and still have a device function.
remember this:What is variable is the current and when I think about what this could be to me
remember this:applied to my life,
remember this:then it might be being
remember this:productive; doing something with my life outside of work as an outlet.
remember this:Now I see how I let myself down by not doing much otherwise.
remember this:So, if I increase the current, what I achieve with my time,
remember this:then I could turn the pressure,
remember this:that we as adults simply have to face every day,
remember this:into power, energy.
remember this:I think I would finally feel alive again.
remember this:Helping that guy today
remember this:certainly made me feel that way.”
remember this:Spartan was silent for a moment.
remember this:“You know, I think you might be onto something…
remember this:Yes, Gideon, this is great,
remember this:I can see you teaching.
remember this:Maybe have your own channel on YouTube?
remember this:You are not an expert for nothing,
remember this:you’ve got to pass this knowledge
remember this:on.” “Erm, easy there,
remember this:I just took a bit of time to help a guy I happened to meet. What is so special about that?”
remember this:“It is, because not everybody has the knowledge and you explained it to him
remember this:on eye level the way he needed it.”
remember this:“But isn’t that how it should be?
remember this:We older ones should not look down upon younger folks and put them down.
remember this:Instead, I feel we should help them
remember this:overcome obstacles we bested already,
remember this:by lifting them up;
remember this:offer a helping hand whenever we can. I learned a
remember this:lot from you, too, so give yourself some credit,
remember this:if you think I did well today.”
remember this:“Okay, okay, sharing the spoils,
remember this:who am I to deny you that.
remember this:But let me tell you that explaining adult life with the elements of electricity
remember this:is indeed so protogen of you.”
remember this:Gideon laughed. “Yep,
remember this:your new self really suits you.
remember this:Sadly, I have to head off again,
remember this:observing your encounter with that stranger took most of the time I had left.
remember this:I wanted to tell you, though,
remember this:that I remembered what your avatar reminded me of.”
remember this:“Oh? What is it?” “That old TV show you loved back then, Digimon.” What Spartan just said rushed through Gideon’s mind. “Huh,
remember this:you’re right. I can see what you mean.”
remember this:Spartan was silent
remember this:and this once Gideon wished
remember this:he could see his actual face,
remember this:for he bet his friend was smiling.
remember this:“I guess I have my moments. I’m sorry that I have to head off now, but I look forward to talking to you more about all that is going on.
remember this:Still, believe me this one bit:
remember this:I am excited to see where you go from here.”
remember this:Spartan said. “Thanks buddy
remember this:and it’s okay, I should do some thinking now, anyway.”
remember this:Without another word Spartan vanished,
remember this:and Gideon was once more alone.
remember this:He reloaded the world
remember this:into a private instance where nobody would disturb him.
remember this:Memories of a birthday long ago surfaced.
remember this:Out of all the supposed friends he had invited,
remember this:none showed up. Some made up excuses,
remember this:lied and even left him waiting in vain.
remember this:It ended as one of the loneliest days of his life,
remember this:betrayed and disappointed.
remember this:Then there was hope.
remember this:One day he watched TV
remember this:and saw a show called Digimon.
remember this:How such unlike beings could be friends,
remember this:be loyal and brave for each other,
remember this:it was all that he had always wished for in life.
remember this:An emotion warming and comforting,
remember this:a source of calm and strength.
remember this:As Gideon realized now,
remember this:it was the same emotion that he felt when he saw himself as a protogen.
remember this:Every world here contained at least one mirror,
remember this:and this was no exception.
remember this:Looking in with a new understanding of what it meant to him,
remember this:the hope it carried,
remember this:he leaned in against the mirror,
remember this:thinking. When did he lose this hope?
remember this:He felt like talking to this being vainly trying to put into words what was on his heart.
remember this:“What happened that I lost you?
remember this:Or did I lock you away?”
remember this:he tried to recall his path through life, retracing his steps.
remember this:“When did it happen?
remember this:I went through school and you were there.
remember this:I attended university,
remember this:and you were the wind in my sails. Then,
remember this:my first job. You kept me afloat.
remember this:It was stressful,
remember this:so much pressure, and then-”
remember this:Gideon stopped in his trail of thoughts.
remember this:“Then dad died. It was too much for you, wasn’t it?
remember this:Or too much for me.
remember this:You got hurt one too many times and hid from the world.
remember this:Or did I hide you away so nobody could hurt you ever again?”
remember this:Not allowing any thought of how silly it may look,
remember this:he made the motion of embracing this creature from the other side of the mirror.
remember this:A feeling of once again
remember this:being complete wrapped him in calm and he felt all the lighter, a weight
remember this:falling off his heart.
remember this:“I always wished for this image of friendship to be true,
remember this:to exist, and to be that way myself.
remember this:Hopefully, I always showed Spartan how much I value him.
remember this:I don’t know, but from now on,
remember this:as long as I have you with me,
remember this:I can be that way with certainty.
remember this:Please help me be the person for others that hardly anybody was for me.”
remember this:Gideon felt too excited
remember this:and awake to go offline.
remember this:Thousands of worlds lay at his feet,
remember this:ready to be explored.
remember this:Without the doubt and sadness weighing him down,
remember this:world hopping was even more fun.
remember this:One after another
remember this:he visited floating islands,
remember this:traditional towns,
remember this:futuristic games and many creative works.
remember this:After over an hour of traveling,
remember this:he found himself in a world
remember this:with wolf avatars
remember this:on offer and remembered Spartan’s request.
remember this:Gideon tried them out and found two good candidates that he saved for his friend.
remember this:The night was perfect,
remember this:now he even found something
remember this:he was sure Spartan would love.
remember this:Gideon wanted to change back into his protogen avatar.
remember this:When he opened the panel with his saved avatars,
remember this:panic rose within him.
remember this:The avatar was not there. ‘It
remember this:must be a glitch.’
remember this:He thought, a kind of bug in the client.
remember this:Frantically he searched his menus up and down until it dawned upon him. ‘I
remember this:never saved the avatar…
remember this:I was so excited when I found it,
remember this:that I forgot.’ He thought.
remember this:All he had saved
remember this:was his old, cartoony fox avatar and Spartan’s wolves.
remember this:So he became his old fox self again.
Gideon wondered:What if he would not find him again?
Gideon wondered:It was in a public world that he had found the protogen,
Gideon wondered:so he tried to retrace his steps.
Gideon wondered:Where was he in the beginning,
Gideon wondered:what world was it?
Gideon wondered:A chase across the universe began,
Gideon wondered:and for many more hours he jumped worlds in the hope
Gideon wondered:to find that one place
Gideon wondered:where his beloved protogen lived.
Gideon wondered:It did not help that he indeed felt like his old self again,
Gideon wondered:the shame that this clumsiness carried
Gideon wondered:whispering him thoughts
Gideon wondered:that tore at his heart and pushed him down.
Gideon wondered:The search was in vain.
Gideon wondered:After hours he had no more idea where to go and where his protogen may be.
Gideon wondered:It was four in the morning and he logged off. ‘This
Gideon wondered:is so silly for a man of my age…’ he thought,
Gideon wondered:but interrupted himself. ‘No,
Gideon wondered:I won’t go back to my old self,
Gideon wondered:I have to find him.’
Gideon wondered:He searched the Internet for ways to find avatars.
Gideon wondered:Maybe he had overlooked something.
Gideon wondered:At some point he came across an on-line post that recommended installing a client modification to enable an avatar search.
Gideon wondered:The thought of modifying the client felt wrong,
Gideon wondered:dangerous. There were warnings about such modifications in the loading screens,
Gideon wondered:but he felt he already lost something dear and vital.
Gideon wondered:Driven and desperate,
Gideon wondered:he weighed the odds
Gideon wondered:and installed the modification.
Gideon wondered:Taking no risk for his protogen
Gideon wondered:had felt like betrayal.
Gideon wondered:It did not take long for the client to load.
Gideon wondered:His home world appeared around him,
Gideon wondered:the menu screen enhanced with new options, including an avatar search.
Gideon wondered:Gideon remembered the name of his avatar
Gideon wondered:and typed it in. The search results came up
Gideon wondered:and he scrolled through them.
Gideon wondered:Reddish, bluish Protogen with different emblems,
Gideon wondered:some with fluffy tails,
Gideon wondered:some with shark tails scrolled past.
Gideon wondered:Silly ones, tiny ones,
Gideon wondered:a wide selection.
Gideon wondered:His protogen was not on page one,
Gideon wondered:not on page two. Gideon scrolled faster,
Gideon wondered:nervous and panic trying to get the better of him.
Gideon wondered:Page three, page four flew by
Gideon wondered:and five was the last one.
Gideon wondered:He looked carefully
Gideon wondered:and thought he finally found him.
Gideon wondered:He pressed load. In the mirror
Gideon wondered:his protogen smiled at him.
Gideon wondered:Eager to not lose him again,
Gideon wondered:he immediately saved it.
Gideon wondered:Gideon sat on the floor and sighed.
Gideon wondered:“Thank god. I thought I lost you.”
Gideon wondered:He looked in the mirror,
Gideon wondered:the protogen passively stared back.
Gideon wondered:Then it began to dawn on him.
Gideon wondered:“What have I done…
Gideon wondered:Why was I so impatient?
Gideon wondered:Am I risking all this,
Gideon wondered:risking you, because I could not wait to find you?”
Gideon wondered:A chill creeped up his spine,
Gideon wondered:and he shivered; he could get banned for this.
Gideon wondered:He leaned in against the mirror,
Gideon wondered:forehead to forehead with his reflection.
Gideon wondered:“No… I don’t want to lose you.”
Gideon wondered:He looked up into his own eyes.
Gideon wondered:“It was only a few minutes,
Gideon wondered:and I was only in my home.
Gideon wondered:I did nothing but look for you…
Gideon wondered:It will be fine, I will restore my client and never use a mod again.”
Gideon wondered:Once he had removed all traces of the modification,
Gideon wondered:he logged on again.
Gideon wondered:Still, he could not shed this existential fear.
Gideon wondered:Like sitting at the bedside of a dying friend, all he did was wait
Gideon wondered:in his virtual home,
Gideon wondered:cowered against the wall opposite the mirror.
Gideon wondered:“It will be fine.” he told his reflection.
Gideon wondered:It was then that he realized
Gideon wondered:how much he got sucked into this world.
Gideon wondered:The last few days he lived more here than in the real world.
Gideon wondered:He crawled close to the mirror.
Gideon wondered:Kneeling, he leaned in against his reflection,
Gideon wondered:arms raised against the glass,
Gideon wondered:looking for support.
Gideon wondered:“I once saw a movie about the Lebanon war.
Gideon wondered:The young soldiers had a hard time coping with the surrounding reality.
Gideon wondered:One of them was a photographer.
Gideon wondered:He only looked at the world through his camera
Gideon wondered:and the lenses breaking the light of reality shielded him from the truth.”
Gideon wondered:He looked up and almost believed to see sympathy in the eyes on the other side,
Gideon wondered:and tears ran down from under his VR headset.
Gideon wondered:“When they came to a group of stables,
Gideon wondered:the stench of death
Gideon wondered:lay in the air. The poor horses were dead or dying, and it was
Gideon wondered:then that the photographer’s shield broke and reality hit him.
Gideon wondered:His camera could no longer stand in between him and the truth.”
Gideon wondered:“I am afraid now that all this here is a lie, that I fooled myself; that nothing changed.
Gideon wondered:Will I wake up to find you never existed?”
Gideon wondered:He sobbed, and the protogen seemed to smile at him
Gideon wondered:as if he cared. “Thank you.”
Gideon wondered:He whispered. That moment the world froze.
Gideon wondered:A message popped up:
Gideon wondered:“You are banned.” He was in shock.
Gideon wondered:It took him an unknown amount of time till he took his headset off
Gideon wondered:and when he did, he knelt on the floor,
Gideon wondered:alone in his apartment.
Gideon wondered:He went to bed. There was nothing else he could do,
Gideon wondered:his mind was blank.
Gideon wondered:Eventually he managed to get some sleep.
Gideon wondered:The next morning Gideon got up and stood in front of the mirror,
Gideon wondered:tired, bloodshot eyes looking back at him.
Gideon wondered:He wanted it to be over.
Gideon wondered:Better a fool for a weekend than to hold on to this for weeks.
Gideon wondered:So he took a deep breath
Gideon wondered:and listened to whatever there may be within his heart,
Gideon wondered:expecting only the cold emptiness
Gideon wondered:that a lie would leave behind.
Gideon wondered:Yet in his chest there was
Gideon wondered:something. It took him a moment to realize,
Gideon wondered:but the feeling he had when he looked in the mirror in this virtual world was not gone.
Gideon wondered:Like a kindling fire
Gideon wondered:it was still there,
Gideon wondered:and he realized that all that he loved about his protogen
Gideon wondered:came from within.
Gideon wondered:All the values, all the hopes
Gideon wondered:and dreams were still there.
Gideon wondered:The avatar was the canvas he painted his own,
Gideon wondered:once hidden self on.
Gideon wondered:He began to daydream and imagination
Gideon wondered:overlaid his reflection.
Gideon wondered:He touched the mirror and smiled.
Gideon wondered:“I see it now, you were always within me;
Gideon wondered:my hopes and values.
Gideon wondered:I got hurt often and back then
Gideon wondered:I hid you away, to no longer get hurt.
Gideon wondered:You were always there with me on my path through life.
Gideon wondered:You are the foundation
Gideon wondered:that I can draw guidance from, rely upon.
Gideon wondered:Once I wanted to protect you;
Gideon wondered:now it is you who protects my soul.”
Gideon wondered:The last piece fell in place.
Gideon wondered:The aspect he admired most
Gideon wondered:about these creatures he saw on TV,
Gideon wondered:the Digimon, was that with great effort they could evolve
Gideon wondered:into a more powerful and better version of themselves,
Gideon wondered:for themselves and for others.
Gideon wondered:Could he maybe evolve, too?
Gideon wondered:Was he already evolving?
Gideon wondered:He felt renewed, a growing confidence within.
Gideon wondered:“No matter what happens now,
Gideon wondered:all I need to know
Gideon wondered:is that I have somebody to back me up.
Gideon wondered:I need to be my own backup then
Gideon wondered:I can be there for others, too.”
Gideon wondered:“Backup…” He slapped his own forehead.
Gideon wondered:“My backup…” Gideon rushed to his computer.
Gideon wondered:He heard blood rushing through his veins as he remembered the day he worked in home office
Gideon wondered:and the IP phones were down.
Gideon wondered:His manager had sent him instructions via email that he later deleted.
Gideon wondered:Gideon checked the backup of that day.
Gideon wondered:The deleted emails were there,
Gideon wondered:and a daring thought crossed his mind,
Gideon wondered:a smile forming. “I got you now, you bastard.”
Gideon wondered:A plan formed, and he made a call.
Gideon wondered:“Hey, Sarah, sorry to disturb you on a Sunday, but it is urgent.
Gideon wondered:Can you get the other team leads together early on Monday?
Gideon wondered:I have a plan. Yes, we will save this company.”
Gideon wondered:The next day they all met in secret
Gideon wondered:and came to an agreement.
Gideon wondered:Gideon wrote up a proposal and made copies.
Gideon wondered:On Tuesday he marched to the gallows.
Gideon wondered:In the big meeting room the CEO,
Gideon wondered:his manager and the board of the company were all present.
Gideon wondered:The CEO opened the meeting.
Gideon wondered:“I think I need not tell you why we are here.
Gideon wondered:The limited editions of our new console are failing,
Gideon wondered:and negative news is making the headlines.”
Gideon wondered:She addressed the manager.
Gideon wondered:“We need an explanation.”
Gideon wondered:“We are talking about a technical fault caused by the engineering team.
Gideon wondered:I gave instructions to our senior electrical engineer here and I ask you forgiveness, because he is my responsibility.
Gideon wondered:With your support,
Gideon wondered:I will deal with the issue accordingly.”
Gideon wondered:The CEO addressed Gideon
Gideon wondered:“Do you have anything to say on this matter?”
Gideon wondered:“I have, substantially.
Gideon wondered:Please pass these along and each take a copy.”
Gideon wondered:Gideon said and in addition to this proposal
Gideon wondered:handed the CEO alone a copy of the e-mails from his manager overriding his recommendations to keep the cooling unit.
Gideon wondered:“What is this about?”
Gideon wondered:His manager asked.
Gideon wondered:“Sir, you instructed me to remove the active cooling unit to cut costs.
Gideon wondered:The consoles are powering off, because people put them in enclosed spaces
Gideon wondered:against the advice in the manual.
Gideon wondered:I talked to the other team leads and we have a proposal to fix the situation,
Gideon wondered:saving the face of the company.
Gideon wondered:Because the cooling unit was removed last minute,
Gideon wondered:the case and hardware are still the same
Gideon wondered:and built to house such a unit.
Gideon wondered:All teams, including mine,
Gideon wondered:agreed to do voluntary overtime
Gideon wondered:to retrofit the limited run consoles in-house
Gideon wondered:cutting costs to a minimum.
Gideon wondered:Marketing suggests we paint this as a mistake
Gideon wondered:we fix for our customers for free.”
Gideon wondered:Gideons manager
Gideon wondered:looked like he was about to say something,
Gideon wondered:but the CEO cut him off with a gesture
Gideon wondered:and read through the document and e-mails.
Gideon wondered:The meeting was over fairly quick.
Gideon wondered:She asked Gideon to stay while everybody left.
Gideon wondered:Alone with the CEO,
Gideon wondered:he wondered what would happen now.
Gideon wondered:He had been unusually bold today.
Gideon wondered:“I wished you had told me earlier about the issues with your manager,
Gideon wondered:but I also know how hard that can be.
Gideon wondered:You already worked here under my father and pioneered our game console program.
Gideon wondered:It is important to me, that you know you can always come to me with issues.
Gideon wondered:You are not just an employee to this company,
Gideon wondered:you are part of our foundation.
Gideon wondered:Your plan is sound
Gideon wondered:and I am sure it will work, thus I see no reason
Gideon wondered:for any changes in personnel
Gideon wondered:except for your manager.
Gideon wondered:I will make sure you get somebody who listens better.
Gideon wondered:That said, I have to admit I am glad to see how you showed teeth today.
Gideon wondered:You never kick down and
Gideon wondered:your team likes you,
Gideon wondered:but please kick up more often.
Gideon wondered:I cannot tell you ‘good job’ yet,
Gideon wondered:but I will do so when this crisis is over, I am sure.”
Gideon wondered:After the workday was over Gideon went home.
Gideon wondered:Once again he stepped into the same old elevator of his apartment building.
Gideon wondered:People streamed into the elevator
Gideon wondered:as he took his place by the buttons.
Gideon wondered:Gideon wanted to press the button for the 14th floor,
Gideon wondered:but this time decided differently.
Gideon wondered:Higher up, all the way to the top,
Gideon wondered:was where he wanted to go.
Gideon wondered:While ascending he looked about,
Gideon wondered:memorizing the different faces.
Gideon wondered:One by one his neighbors got off on their floors
Gideon wondered:and the cabin emptied
Gideon wondered:until he was alone.
Gideon wondered:On the top floor he climbed the stairwell
Gideon wondered:leading to the roof
Gideon wondered:and opened the heavy door.
Gideon wondered:A blast of fresh air met him as he opened it.
Gideon wondered:The sun was setting.
Gideon wondered:He leaned onto the railing
Gideon wondered:and let his gaze wander.
Gideon wondered:The city was tinted in a hue of blue, red and purple.
Gideon wondered:“Yes. I see it again,
Gideon wondered:a world of possibility
Gideon wondered:I am no longer afraid, of change, or tragedy
Gideon wondered:I will remember and hold dear
Gideon wondered:all the good in my past
Gideon wondered:And leave a trail of footsteps From the beginning to however long I may last
Gideon wondered:And then I will be who I want to be
Gideon wondered:Nothing else, but my true self to see
Gideon wondered:On the unknown road ahead
Gideon wondered:For all there is
Gideon wondered:on the other side of the mirror,
Gideon wondered:is you.” This was the second and final part of
Gideon wondered:“The Other Side of the Mirror” by KiDra,
Gideon wondered:read for you by Khaki,
Gideon wondered:your faithful fireside companion.
Gideon wondered:As always, you can find more stories on the web at thevoice.dog,
Gideon wondered:or find the show wherever you get your podcasts.
