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“The Other Side of the Mirror” by KiDra (part 1 of 2)
Job at risk and no hope, Gideon goes on a journey in VR to forget, but instead finds something unexpected on the Other Side of the Mirror.
Today’s story is the first of two parts of “The Other Side of the Mirror” by KiDra, who explores the nature of life, love and belonging in his works. You can find more of his stories at kidra.sofurry.com
Read for you by Khaki, your faithful fireside companion.
Transcript
Today's story includes a character
Content warning:remembering a traumatic event from their past
Content warning:involving a house fire.
Content warning:You’re listening to The Voice of Dog.
Content warning:I’m Khaki, your faithful fireside companion,
Content warning:and today’s story is the first of two parts of
Content warning:“The Other Side of the Mirror”
Content warning:by KiDra, who explores the nature of life,
Content warning:love and belonging in his works.
Content warning:You can find more of his stories at kidra.sofurry.com
Content warning:Please enjoy “The Other Side of the Mirror”
Content warning:by KiDra, Part 1
Content warning:of 2 It was Friday evening,
Content warning:the end of the workday and the weekend a godsend.
Content warning:Coming home, Gideon pressed the button to call the elevator.
Content warning:Steps echoed in the marble entrance hallway of the apartment building
Content warning:as a crowd formed in front of the closed cabin doors.
Content warning:When the doors opened, people flooded the elevator
Content warning:and pushed Gideon to the back, as if he did not exist.
Content warning:“Hey, can someone press number 14 for me, please?”
Content warning:A tenant at the button panel nodded
Content warning:and selected the right floor.
Content warning:“Thank you.” The reek of sweat and body fumes built up in the cabin
Content warning:and Gideon shuffled around,
Content warning:feeling itchy. Eventually the elevator came to a stop on his floor.
Content warning:The doors opened,
Content warning:and he forced his way out.
Content warning:On his way, he noticed the numbered apartment doors;
Content warning:lined up in bland rows,
Content warning:just like the last ten miserable years.
Content warning:On the way to number 1421,
Content warning:his muffled footsteps left no trail,
Content warning:and he wondered if by now the same was true for his life.
Content warning:As soon as the door was unlocked,
Content warning:he threw his coat and briefcase onto the couch, with no care for where they landed.
Content warning:Today, loosening the tie and easing its grip
Content warning:felt like being taken down from the gallows;
Content warning:an execution delayed.
Content warning:On a wall-calendar he wrote
Content warning:‘Meeting with CEO and Board’
Content warning:into Tuesday and drew a big circle around it.
Content warning:Now he would not forget even if he wanted to.
Content warning:He turned the calendar around.
Content warning:Monday would be early enough to worry.
Content warning:This weekend was his.
Content warning:The bathroom’s cool floor tiles were a welcome sensation
Content warning:after a day in business shoes.
Content warning:A splash of cold water to the face washed away the grime and some of the day’s exhaustion.
Content warning:In the mirror, a man with weary eyes
Content warning:and a rapidly receding hairline looked back at him.
Content warning:He looked at himself.
Content warning:“As long as you’re young at heart, you’re not old.
Content warning:That’s what they say, right?
Content warning:What bullshit.” After towel drying his face, he walked into the kitchen,
Content warning:the same old evening routine kicking in.
Content warning:When the smell of peppermint filled the air,
Content warning:tea was ready, and he went to his desk.
Content warning:The computer booted up in seconds,
Content warning:the usual five webpages already open in tabs.
Content warning:There were a few new entries in his watch list,
Content warning:nothing spectacular.
Content warning:Likewise, there was no significant news from friends.
Content warning:The fandom was drifting away;
Content warning:it was changing and getting younger.
Content warning:The Fandom had been a welcoming place,
Content warning:but was that changing, too?
Content warning:Some posts suggested so.
Content warning:More often now the older Furries were labeled creeps for being just that:
Content warning:Older. Maybe, to the Fandom,
Content warning:Gideon was like a foreign moon falling from the sky.
Content warning:He felt like a distant satellite;
Content warning:going around in circles,
Content warning:rapidly gaining altitude. ‘Maybe
Content warning:I should get back into drawing....’ he thought,
Content warning:but instead of pursuing the thought further, he shook his head.
Content warning:The echo of what he saw in the mirror bounced around in his mind.
Content warning:Once he was like them;
Content warning:young and new. No different and grateful for a place to call home;
Content warning:not to be alone. It was a foolish thought
Content warning:that being Furry had a date of expiry.
Content warning:At least someone always pointed it out as absurd, but was that true?
Content warning:In his mind, Gideon the Fox -
Content warning:his Fursona - began to look old, too. ‘I
Content warning:guess we’re both ready for the scrap heap, old friend.’
Content warning:He thought. The smartphone on his desk buzzed.
Content warning:It was a message from Spartan: ‘Hey
Content warning:sly one, you home?
Content warning:If you got time to spare, call me.
Content warning:I got my VR headset!’
Content warning:Gideon smiled. He put on his headset right away and called Spartan on messenger.
Content warning:“Hey pack leader, what’s up?
Content warning:So you finally joined the 21st century?”
Content warning:“Not my fault. It took them long enough to ship it!”
Content warning:“How are the wife and pups?”
Content warning:“The puppies are in bed. Listen, Blue told me to take the evening to try out my new headset.
Content warning:Of course I thought of you.”
Content warning:Gideon felt appreciated.
Content warning:“That’s nice of her and
Content warning:well, nice of you, too.”
Content warning:“You need to make room for single activities, especially in marriage.
Content warning:Otherwise couples get sick of each other.
Content warning:I won’t make that mistake twice.”
Content warning:“Yeah, I get that. I am glad to see it’s working out between you two.”
Content warning:“Believe me, if that weren’t the case, then I would not have agreed to having kids.” Spartan said.
Content warning:“Understandable. So,
Content warning:what’s the agenda for today?
Content warning:What do you want to do?
Content warning:I got into Beat Saber, have you tried that one?”
Content warning:“Not yet. It’s on my list, though.
Content warning:For today, I had something different in mind.
Content warning:There’s this new virtual reality social app.
Content warning:Maybe you know it?
Content warning:You can pick an avatar, walk around worlds, meet and talk to people.”
Content warning:“Um, that’s supposed to be fun?”
Content warning:Gideon asked. The thought of being sociable, even in a virtual world -
Content warning:maybe especially in a virtual world - sounded like anything but fun.
Content warning:“Let’s try it. It’ll be nice to meet you there. You know,
Content warning:something closer to meeting in person.
Content warning:Since the wife and I moved places,
Content warning:I can hardly see you.”
Content warning:Gideon knew his life alone had left him with a set of ever rusting social skills.
Content warning:Self-doubt gnawed at his mind.
Content warning:Over the years he began to believe he could be happy in solitude,
Content warning:but that started to feel like a lie.
Content warning:He wondered if there was more to life than the pendulum that swings between work and just enough time to be on the internet.
Content warning:He had told Spartan about feeling alone.
Content warning:Maybe his friend wanted to help him open up.
Content warning:A slow smile built at the thought.
Content warning:Spartan was a great friend,
Content warning:and the distraction welcomed.
Content warning:“Alright, let’s go!”
Content warning:Registering an account and logging in was a matter of minutes.
Content warning:He put the VR headset on and while the client started
Content warning:kept on adjusting the straps.
Content warning:The first world to load was a place called
Content warning:‘home’. There was some furniture, a mirror,
Content warning:and various portals to other worlds.
Content warning:In the mirror an avatar - a generic robot - was visible.
Content warning:“Well, how charming…
Content warning:That must be the default avatar.”
Content warning:There was a pop-up,
Content warning:a friend request from a
Content warning:‘Spartan Wolffang’.
Content warning:He accepted and Spartan loaded in.
Content warning:“Hey, Gideon, there you are!”
Content warning:Gideon turned around and saw another robot.
Content warning:“So, this way you can visit me, that’s neat.
Content warning:Somebody already took your name, eh?”
Content warning:“Heh, just like yours, Mr. Gideon Foxbeans.”
Content warning:Gideon groaned. “Well…
Content warning:Okay, what shall we do about our appearance?”
Content warning:“Over at the mirror are some standard avatars to pick from,
Content warning:but they are all rather boring.
Content warning:Let’s head right into exploring and find us some fitting ones?”
Content warning:“You’re not wasting time,
Content warning:are you?” “Fair enough, if you want to spend more time looking at your stickman self in the mirror, I can wait.”
Content warning:Spartan said. “No, no, I am good.
Content warning:Do you have an idea where to go?”
Content warning:“A friend recommended me a hub world for Furries.
Content warning:Sounds like a good place to start, if you ask me.”
Content warning:“Sounds like too many people, but fair enough.
Content warning:How do we get there?”
Content warning:“Let me drop a portal.
Content warning:Follow me through,
Content warning:it’ll bring us to that world.”
Content warning:Spartan was doing something with his hands,
Content warning:and another portal appeared in Gideon’s home.
Content warning:As he stepped through,
Content warning:the world froze. A loading screen appeared
Content warning:and soon a new world emerged with strangers scattered about in groups,
Content warning:talking, minding their own business, or just being outright silly.
Content warning:“There we are. I think the pedestals over there by the wall are avatars.”
Content warning:Spartan said. Gideon followed Spartan over to a nearby pedestal.
Content warning:Spartan touched it,
Content warning:vanished and returned as an anthropomorphic dog.
Content warning:He looked himself over. “Hm, not what
Content warning:I was looking
Content warning:for.” “I don’t know. You are married.
Content warning:The domesticated version of a wolf kinda suits you.”
Content warning:Spartan’s avatar gave him a sour look.
Content warning:“Honestly, foxes are the worst.
Content warning:Crap everywhere, spread toxocariasis, leptospirosis…”
Content warning:“Oh, crumbs, I had that when I was little, so I happen to be immune, actually.”
Content warning:“Best thing - put down a trap lined with newspaper, bit of sausage.”
Content warning:“Ha! That’s what you think.
Content warning:Let me tell you something about foxes.
Content warning:We’re famous for our …
Content warning:Ohh, is that today’s Metro?”
Content warning:Gideon pointed. Spartan lost it
Content warning:and was just laughing for a good while.
Content warning:“Okay, you win. Your Nelson-impersonations always get me.
Content warning:Seriously, we really have to watch Mongrels again.”
Content warning:“But, how did you make that sour face?”
Content warning:“It’s finger gestures.
Content warning:I heard most avatars support at least some.
Content warning:Look at my fingers when I make faces.”
Content warning:Gideon observed how Spartan’s avatar made all kinds of facial expressions.
Content warning:An excellent feature, he thought.
Content warning:He tried to mimic his finger movements with little luck.
Content warning:“That will need some practice.” “True,
Content warning:but as long as we have no face tracking, it’s better than nothing.”
Content warning:Spartan said. They continued to look around
Content warning:and tried on different avatars.
Content warning:Spartan found a wolf, one that
Content warning:he was more or less satisfied with, while Gideon ended up with a fox that was too cartoony.
Content warning:He saved it. “Well,
Content warning:better than- hey, my right hand isn’t working.”
Content warning:Gideon looked at the controller from under his headset.
Content warning:“Everything ok?” “No, my right controller turned off.
Content warning:The battery can’t be empty, I charged both yesterday.”
Content warning:“If you want to look at it, I can go ahead and see if I can find us a nice place to hang out.
Content warning:In your menu you have a friends list where you can join me again.”
Content warning:“Thanks, will do. If I can’t make it, then I will send you a message.”
Content warning:“Sounds good. See you in a bit, hopefully.”
Content warning:Gideon logged off
Content warning:and got out of his VR headset.
Content warning:He looked at the controller that had failed and tried to turn it on again.
Content warning:Nothing. He took out his set of screwdrivers and opened the controller.
Content warning:Nothing looked broken,
Content warning:but he saw a possible cold solder joint and quickly tested it. ‘Hmpf, at least
Content warning:it’s an easy fix.’ He thought.
Content warning:He re-heated the joint with a soldering iron,
Content warning:put the controller back together and turned it on.
Content warning:It came to life with a familiar beep.
Content warning:“There we go!” He attached the wrist strap,
Content warning:lowered the visor
Content warning:and re-joined Spartan.
Content warning:Gideon found himself in a recreation of a modern coffee bar
Content warning:with a tree growing up to a glass ceiling above.
Content warning:Ebony wood tables
Content warning:with chairs were loosely spaced around the room,
Content warning:filled with gathering patrons.
Content warning:Spartan called him from a railing above.
Content warning:Gideon ascended the stairs besides the bar counter to a lounge area with more comfortable looking armchairs
Content warning:and low tables, where he took a seat opposite Spartan.
Content warning:“That was quick. I see you got it fixed?”
Content warning:Spartan asked. Gideon waved his right hand.
Content warning:“Yeah, it was a cold solder joint at the battery. Simple really.” “Heh,
Content warning:if you say so… By the way, Blue asked me to thank you for helping me fix my kids’ RC car.
Content warning:You helped me make them happy.”
Content warning:“Don’t mention it.
Content warning:You did the work, I just guided you via webcam.”
Content warning:“How’s work, by the way?” “Hmpf,
Content warning:meeting with the CEO and board next Tuesday.”
Content warning:Gideon said. “Trouble up ahead?”
Content warning:He shrugged. “I don’t really want to think about it.
Content warning:There’s nothing I can do.” [Short pause]
Content warning:“So… what do you think of this so far?” “This
Content warning:VR experience?”
Content warning:“Yeah, how do you like it?” Spartan asked.
Content warning:“I almost feel like I’m sitting at a table with you for real.
Content warning:It’s nice. I missed this.”
Content warning:“Not too many people yet?”
Content warning:“It’s fine, they are more like NPCs to-.”
Content warning:Somebody in a near group shouted,
Content warning:“God, I am so pissed!
Content warning:Remember that new premium console I got?
Content warning:The one that will launch in three months.
Content warning:I paid a premium for the very limited early edition.
Content warning:That bloody thing runs hot and turns off!”
Content warning:“-to be ignored…” Gideon sighed.
Content warning:“Something wrong?” “It’s loud here.”
Content warning:He went into the options,
Content warning:turned down the voice volume for all,
Content warning:and turned Spartan back up.
Content warning:The voices had faded just enough while still being understandable.
Content warning:“Better”. “If only it was that easy in real life, eh?”
Content warning:“Well, there’s a lot of things I wish I could tune out.”
Content warning:“Like what?” “You ever notice those posts about older folks on the fandom being creepy?”
Content warning:“Yeah, I saw them,
Content warning:but I would not give them too much credit.
Content warning:By far not as many people as it seems think that way.”
Content warning:“Hopefully. But to be honest, it made me wonder when things went wrong?”
Content warning:“Went wrong?” “Feeling out of place.
Content warning:You know, you get into a full-time job and before you can count to three, five years have disappeared.
Content warning:On the Fandom you become less and less active and you feel you’re drifting away from this community.”
Content warning:“I know that feeling.
Content warning:Change is normal,
Content warning:but you feel it’s for the worse.”
Content warning:“Pretty much.” Gideon said.
Content warning:“Let me guess, in recent years, a lot of what’s happening in the Fandom just appears immature and silly to you?”
Content warning:“Didn’t want to phrase it like that, but yeah, pretty much.”
Content warning:“We’re indeed getting older.
Content warning:We already left behind what a lot of the newcomers are going through now.
Content warning:Every rollercoaster gets stale after a few rides.”
Content warning:“It does. You see the drama, you know where it will go and you don’t want to deal with the same trifles over and over again.
Content warning:Saying that now… these things were not minor matters to us when we first went through our own heartbreak and drama, right?”
Content warning:“No, they certainly were not.”
Content warning:Spartan shook his head.
Content warning:“God knows. Just gotta remember that
Content warning:we all were at a similar point in the past.
Content warning:And, well, foolishness is not an exclusive trademark of one age group.
Content warning:I think I was in a similar spot after my breakup.
Content warning:Meeting my wife was my big jackpot
Content warning:and my kids helped me find my inner child again.”
Content warning:“How did having kids bring back your inner child?”
Content warning:“You have to meet kids on their level.
Content warning:When you play with them,
Content warning:you can’t keep your dignity.
Content warning:You don’t even think about it and do what’s the best for them.
Content warning:If that means you have to be a goofball, so be it.
Content warning:It is a matter of letting go and just being yourself.”
Content warning:“Meeting people where they are and being authentic…
Content warning:I remember that lesson from leadership training.
Content warning:Curious that I never thought about applying it outside work.”
Content warning:Gideon said. “It’s worth it.
Content warning:Who knows what you might find when you listen to your inner child.”
Content warning:“Speaking of authentic…”
Content warning:“Yeah?” “My choice of name is cringy, isn’t it?”
Content warning:Spartan chuckled.
Content warning:“Well, mine is too, I think.”
Content warning:“I will change my name again to something more mature.
Content warning:It does not feel authentic anymore.
Content warning:Just like using this stereotypical furry talk.”
Content warning:“Like ‘pack leader’ and ‘puppies’ instead of just saying ‘kids’?”
Content warning:“Yeah... it feels like trying too hard.” “You’re
Content warning:right. I’ll change my name, too, and in future let’s just
Content warning:talk normal.” There was a pause and a faint voice in the back.
Content warning:“Oh, right now? Alright, I am sure he will understand. I’ll meet with him tomorrow evening again then.
Content warning:Sounds good, I’ll be there in a minute.”
Content warning:“Is Blue talking to you?”
Content warning:“Yeah, sorry about that.
Content warning:She asked me if I would watch her favorite show with her.
Content warning:As a compromise, I’ll come online for an hour or two tomorrow to meet you again.
Content warning:6pm, sounds fair?”
Content warning:“Okay, 6pm it is.
Content warning:And hey, thanks for suggesting this.
Content warning:I think I will look around a little more, still gotta find a better avatar for myself.”
Content warning:“If you find a better wolf avatar, please save it for me.”
Content warning:“Will do.” “See you tomorrow.”
Content warning:Gideon did not feel like staying at the cafe on his own.
Content warning:Instead he decided to go on a journey of exploration
Content warning:and so portal after portal,
Content warning:world after world came and went.
Content warning:As he travelled, he pondered his past
Content warning:and the path that led him here.
Content warning:Exploring like this,
Content warning:nostalgia nipped at his mind,
Content warning:a remembering and yearning for old times when his life was still whole and unbroken.
Content warning:There were many worlds dedicated to offering public avatars,
Content warning:and none felt just right.
Content warning:There was one world he kept seeing.
Content warning:Protogen Plaza. He massaged his temples. ‘Maybe
Content warning:there are other types of avatars there, too.’
Content warning:He thought. It was a small world with a few pedestals on two sides.
Content warning:Clicking one, Gideon transformed and went to the nearest mirror.
Content warning:The face was a visor that showed basic emotions through digital facial expressions.
Content warning:The creature had black fur,
Content warning:fluffy ears, and thick furry legs.
Content warning:The protogen on the other side of the mirror smiled at him.
Content warning:Gideon shook his head.
Content warning:The creature’s ears flopped around.
Content warning:He sighed, then laughed.
Content warning:He eyed the creature and tried out different hand gestures. The protogen
Content warning:stuck his tongue out at him.
Content warning:He face-palmed. This was silly,
Content warning:but he had to admit to himself that he kind of liked it.
Content warning:Would it be too immature?
Content warning:Gideon remembered what Spartan told him about listening to the inner child.
Content warning:It would at least end his avatar search for today.
Content warning:“Alright then, I will give you a chance.”
Content warning:With an avatar found and the night being still young
Content warning:Gideon had no intention of logging off just yet.
Content warning:He wanted to explore more.
Content warning:The list of worlds suggested a few games to try.
Content warning:He stepped into a world that was a murder game.
Content warning:It took him a few rounds to understand how it worked.
Content warning:He either was looking for clues as a bystander, trying to find the murderer as the inspector
Content warning:or killing the other players one by one.
Content warning:He explored other game worlds where he found board games,
Content warning:first-person shooters and horror games.
Content warning:Back at his home
Content warning:he sat down in front of the mirror,
Content warning:the protogen looking back at him.
Content warning:Gideon enjoyed himself
Content warning:and he felt he was growing fond of this new avatar, but it was confusing.
Content warning:Part of him wanted to admit that he was having fun
Content warning:and that he liked the protogen he saw in the mirror;
Content warning:the other knew the whole thing was immature and he should leave all this behind.
Content warning:It was late and with an avatar found it was time to log off.
Content warning:After all these hours spent in the virtual world,
Content warning:his apartment felt foreign and empty.
Content warning:It was too silent.
Content warning:A part of him wanted to go back,
Content warning:but reason and heavy eyelids won out in the end.
Content warning:Lying in a lonely bed,
Content warning:his thoughts were like butterflies,
Content warning:going around in erratic patterns.
Content warning:Another hour passed before night was victorious
Content warning:and dragged him into a vivid dream. ~
Content warning:Gideon saw faded photos on the walls of an old hallway.
Content warning:All the rooms were open but a single,
Content warning:white painted door at the far end of the hall.
Content warning:He followed a track of fading footprints across the weathered wooden floor through the dust.
Content warning:He ran his finger over the frame
Content warning:of one of the pictures on the wall.
Content warning:It held the wreckage
Content warning:of a brown minivan
Content warning:with a covered body on the ground beside.
Content warning:Gideon’s throat tightened,
Content warning:and he looked away.
Content warning:Happier scenes filled the next:
Content warning:Joyful times with family,
Content warning:Christmas, birthdays,
Content warning:first school days.
Content warning:There was a noise behind the closed door.
Content warning:Somebody was in there.
Content warning:Like a silver string tugging at his heart,
Content warning:he felt the pull of yearning.
Content warning:He wanted to run,
Content warning:run against the direction of the footsteps, but could hardly move his legs.
Content warning:“Are you alright?” Gideon turned around.
Content warning:“Dad, I think I lost something.”
Content warning:“Is it important?” “Yeah…
Content warning:yeah, I think it is.”
Content warning:His dad put a hand on his shoulder and smiled at him.
Content warning:“Then it’s worth searching.
Content warning:Do you want me to help you look for it?” “Yes dad, please.” “Okay, I will get my glasses
Content warning:and then we search together.”
Content warning:His dad went into the near room.
Content warning:Gideon waited, and when his father did not return,
Content warning:he walked over to the entrance of the room with great effort.
Content warning:Nobody was in there.
Content warning:In his mind he heard a whisper,
Content warning:words from beyond the closed door at the end of the hall,
Content warning:words that he could hear, but not understand.
Content warning:“I am afraid. I don’t want to-”
Content warning:he coughed, the stench of smoke burning his nose.
Content warning:Gideon could hear the crackling of fire
Content warning:and felt the heat coming from the next room.
Content warning:Again he heard something from beyond the door.
Content warning:A plea. “But I want things to be different.”
Content warning:Gideon slid to the floor,
Content warning:tears in his eyes.
Content warning:He felt gravity pulling him down toward the door at the end of the burning hallway,
Content warning:his body starting to slide through the dust
Content warning:as he grasped for anything to hold on
Content warning:to. He clung to the photo of the wreckage. He felt he had
Content warning:nowhere to go and so badly he wanted to be with the voice that it hurt.
Content warning:He looked at the photo he held on to
Content warning:and felt torn between the wish to not let go
Content warning:and the wish to be with that voice.
Content warning:Suddenly, acceptance.
Content warning:A great calm overcame him
Content warning:and he let go. Back first, past the
Content warning:fire, he fell down the hall of memories.
Content warning:The door flung open as he fell through.
Content warning:He hit water. Engulfed and submerged in a wide, dark ocean,
Content warning:he sank away from the scattered light
Content warning:filtering through the surface.
Content warning:Fear crept up his spine.
Content warning:“I don’t want to be afraid.”
Content warning:Something embraced him from behind,
Content warning:and instead of sinking further, he rose.
Content warning:He felt something familiar.
Content warning:Calm, confidence, acceptance.
Content warning:The surface came nearer,
Content warning:water stilled, and he saw his reflection;
Content warning:the protogen. Looking at his hands and body,
Content warning:he now was his reflection,
Content warning:was the protogen from the other side of the mirror.
Content warning:Squinting through tears, he ran to the open door.
Content warning:He’d had enough. Gideon pushed through the fire.
Content warning:It could not touch him;
Content warning:the protogen like an armor
Content warning:keeping it away. Shoulder first, he smashed through a wall.
Content warning:It shattered, splinters flying everywhere,
Content warning:and he was free. This was the first of two parts of
Content warning:“The Other Side of the Mirror”
Content warning:by KiDra, read for you by Khaki,
Content warning:your faithful fireside companion.
Content warning:Tune in next time
Content warning:to find out what it is that Gideon found
Content warning:on the other side of the mirror.
Content warning:As always, you can find more stories on the web at thevoice.dog,
Content warning:or find the show wherever you get your podcasts.
Content warning:Thank you for listening
Content warning:to The Voice of Dog
