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“Getting Naked at Gunnison” by Patrigue

The beach seemed like a great idea to spend time with friends, if only Andrew had known ahead of time it was a clothing-optional beach.

 Today’s story is “Getting Naked at Gunnison” by Patrigue, who is a furry writer that enjoys commissioning art involving nudism, exhibitionism and other sorts of naked shenanigans and writing short stories around them. He can be found mainly on FurAffinity and Twitter. This story was edited by fellow writer Marcus Heckinberry and was inspired by art made by BassyBefuddle, both of whom can be found on Twitter as @wellifimust and @BassyBefuddle, respectively.

Read for you by Khaki, your faithful fireside companion.


Transcript
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You’re listening to The Voice of Dog. I’m Khaki, your faithful fireside companion,

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and Today’s story is

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“Getting Naked at Gunnison” by Patrigue, who is a furry writer that enjoys commissioning art involving nudism,

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exhibitionism and other sorts of naked shenanigans and writing short stories around them.

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He can be found mainly

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on FurAffinity and Twitter.

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This story was edited by fellow writer Marcus Heckinberry

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and was inspired by art made by BassyBefuddle,

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both of whom can be found on Twitter

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as @wellifimust and

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@BassyBefuddle, respectively.

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Please enjoy “Getting Naked at Gunnison” by Patrigue "So Pat, you’re saying Perci seriously didn't tell you why she chose this beach over all the others?"

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The mountain goat whined.

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"Andrew, I told you! I have no idea!"

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the green avian next to him answered for the third time in the past hour.

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It was their mutual lover Perci’s idea of having a beach day.

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While it was neither Andrew's nor Patrigue's first thought when it came to an enjoyable day out,

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the conniving canine was able to convince them otherwise with a friendly little bit of private fun.

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However, once Perci told them which beach they were going to,

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the duo began doubting her rationale.

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The location in particular was none other than Gunnison Beach, New Jersey,

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which happened to be an hour-and-a-half-long drive from Andrew's home in Brooklyn,

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and even farther away from Pat's house in Suffolk County.

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Hence, the carpool to the site in the bird's cramped sedan

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didn't leave the pair in the best of moods, to say the least.

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Hauling their food and toiletries from the car to the beach in the summer heat didn't help either.

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Nonetheless, they carried on,

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with Andrew holding onto their accessory-stuffed rucksack

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while Pat walked with the cooler in tow.

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After trudging across the hot parking lot asphalt

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and the splintering, wooden walkway for the past ten minutes,

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the pair finally reached the soft,

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sandy dunes of the beach.

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"Look, all I'm saying is that we could've gone to Brighton Beach, or Jones Beach even,"

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Andrew complained, "If Perci wanted to go to the beach, we didn't have to drive all the way to fucking Jersey."

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"Did you bother to ask her why it had to be this beach?"

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Pat fired back. "Of course I did!

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She kept telling me

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'it's a surprise!'" he asserted,

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making air-quotes to highlight the paraphrased dialogue.

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"Surprise? She didn't say anything to me about… oh!"

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"What?" "I think I have an idea of what her surprise is."

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"Oh, great,” he deadpanned,

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“Do you mind letting me kn-"

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"Hold that thought!” Pat objected,

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“Do you mind if I get my hands on something from the backpack?"

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Unanswered, Andrew sighed in response, rolling his eyes,

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"Knock yourself out."

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As Pat rested the cooler on the ground,

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Andrew turned his back to him and presented the knapsack to the avian.

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Behind him, the mountain goat could hear the noticeable sound of velcro being ripped apart

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and zippers unzipping.

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He could feel the weight on his back shifting

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as Patrigue dug through their inventory.

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"So what did you need?"

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Andrew asked. "Sunscreen."

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"Sunscreen? But we already put it on after we parked."

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"Yeah, but now I need more."

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More? Andrew thought to himself.

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The parrot's response didn't make any sense.

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The both of them lathered up head to toe once they stepped out of the car.

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Head, arms, body, legs,

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they even helped each other get the hard-to-reach spots on their respective backs.

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The only places they didn't get were already covered by their bathing suits.

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"Would this happen to have anything to do with the surprise?"

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"Wait, did you… not see the sign?"

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"What sign?" "The one we just walked by."

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It was then that the backpack-touting caprinae did a 180° and looked back toward the path they had taken

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and finally noticed the sign erected right off to the sign.

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It was a fairly small sign, so it was no wonder he passed it without seeing it.

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However, it wasn't the sign itself that was much of a surprise, but rather, what the sign itself said:

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NUDE SUNBATHING ALLOWED

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Immediately after reading those four words,

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the gears in the goat's head began to turn, and all the peculiarities of the day started to make sense.

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"Of course, she took us to a nude beach,"

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He acquiesced. "Clothing-optional, technically,"

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the bird corrected.

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Andrew took a moment to reflect on some of Pat's previous statements about the sunscreen before coming to another conclusion,

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"You're naked right now, aren't you?"

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Not even bothering to wait for an answer,

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Andrew turned his head over to Pat’s direction.

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Sure enough, Pat stood there with his manhood on full display,

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his hand spreading sunscreen across his derriere like it was butter on an oven fresh biscuit,

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and his swimsuit nowhere to be found.

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Whatever the opposite of surprise was, the goat was feeling it in spades.

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"I mean, why not?"

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Patrigue defended himself,

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"I've never been to a proper clothing-optional beach before.

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It's only fair I take advantage of the opportunity. Right?

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Besides Perci probably ditched her suit the moment she got here."

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"And dare I ask what happened to yours?" "Put

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it in the backpack.

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It was kinda tight anyway.

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Speaking of…" Popping the cap back on the bottle of sunscreen,

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the now pantsless parrot circled Andrew,

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put it back in the caprinae's pack,

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and properly zipped it up.

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Finished with the chore,

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Pat strutted over to the cooler and picked up its handle.

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"All right, let's get going!"

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he cheered, walking ahead.

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With a shrug, Andrew followed alongside him.

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Over the next few minutes, the two continued their trip in relative silence.

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While Andrew had his eyes on the lookout for his canine lover,

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he would occasionally glance over to Pat.

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He couldn't help but notice how the bird happened to be walking with a bit more

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pep in his stride,

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humming to himself and swishing his tail everytime he took a step forward.

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The goat was glad his friend's mood had improved upon his change of outfit,

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but it certainly wasn't the normal reaction an avian would have to having both of his peckers out for everyone to see.

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Then again, Perci happened to have a similar mentality.

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And if anything, it was these individual perverted peculiarities that he,

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his girlfriend, and his metamour had

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that made the three of them such a unique polycule.

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Now, if only the two men could find the damn poodle.

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As time passed, the search for their mischievous little friend was proving to be harder than expected.

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The sun bearing down on them was proving to be a hindrance,

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as the first drops of sweat formed on Andrew's brow.

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Wiping them off with his arm,

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the goat longed for the reprieve of his air-conditioned apartment

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and was willing to bet Pat felt the same.

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"Not to be a stick in the mud, but we could've just gotten naked at home."

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"We could have," Pat replied,

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"but to be perfectly honest,

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I think it's a lot more refreshing being nude out here." "Well,

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of course you would say that."

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"What's that supposed to mean?"

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"You know. The whole 'thrill of being seen' thing?"

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"Okay, I admit, I can be a bit of an exhibitionist sometimes…"

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"Only a bit?" "But this is nudism!

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It's completely different!"

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"Since when were you a nudist?"

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"Since the moment I realized that being casually naked

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is just as enjoyable as being sexually naked."

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"So you're a nudist…

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and an exhibitionist…"

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"Yep." Andrew sighed again as he rubbed the perspiration from his forehead for a second time.

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"All right, fine. It's nudism.

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It's too hot to argue."

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That settled, the duo continued their trek to locate Perci…

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that is until Patrigue started giggling a few seconds later.

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"What?" Andrew asked.

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"Nothing." "Come on. Don't 'nothing' me."

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"Seriously, it's nothing."

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"Then don't fucking hide it!" "Ugh…"

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the avian gave in,

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"I was just thinking, when you said it was too hot to argue,

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you could always do what I did

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if you wanted to cool down."

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"Dude… really?" the goat scowled.

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"What? Not like I haven't seen you in the nude before."

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"I'm not changing into my birthday suit."

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"No one's gonna make ya.

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It was just a suggestion." "..." "..."

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"But why though?" Andrew harped.

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"Why what?" "Just humor me.

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I get the whole exhibitionism thing.

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Like it's taboo and it's sexy to show off and all that jazz.

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But why would you want to take your clothes off just to be naked?"

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The half-moon conure pondered to himself.

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He never really put much into why he enjoyed it,

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other than the basic

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“I just do” reasoning.

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So, why exactly did he enjoy shedding his clothes as much as he did?

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"Well… there are plenty of reasons people do it,"

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he established "Wanting to be one with nature, supposed health benefits, et cetera, et cetera. But if you're asking why

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I personally do it…

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honestly, it's just comfier."

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"Comfier?" "Yeah, like…

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okay, this is kinda disgusting, but I sweat a lot. Especially in hot weather like this.

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I don't know why,

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but I just do and I absolutely hate it:

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the drops on my forehead falling onto my glasses, the wet shirt collars, the hair getting greasy,

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the wet seat from sitting for too long…" "Ew!" "Exactly!

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That's why I didn't even bother with a shirt today.

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With this heat, it would've gotten mega gross by now."

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Pat wasn't wrong about the heat.

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After all, the forecast called for a high of ninety degrees and a UV index of 8.

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As nice as it was outside,

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it was still a far cry from the perfect outdoor weather.

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Even Andrew had to admit that his shirt was already starting to get damp at the collar.

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However, looking at Pat’s body,

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it became increasingly apparent to the mountain goat

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that the body of his clothingless comrade was faring much better in this heat than his own,

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taking note of the distinct lack of sweat along his green feathers.

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"Okay, so I understand not wearing a shirt,"

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Andrew trusted,

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"but pants as well?" "You've never taken your pants off the moment you got home from work?"

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"I do… once I'm inside and not flashing any of my neighbors."

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"Fair… but I don't have to worry about that here,”

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the avian pointed out,

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“Only an idiot would go to a clothing-optional beach

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and not expect to see a few dicks out.

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And even without all the people,

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the whole thing… it's kind of soothing."

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Patrigue's last words brought Andrew to a halt,

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genuinely needing a moment to process unexpected information.

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"Soothing?" "Mmhmm," the bird answered,

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finally stopping and looking back at his clothed companion,

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"You know how freeing it feels to have the wind blowing through your hair?"

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Andrew nodded. "Well, it's kind of like that,

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but when it's your whole body…"

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Before he finished his sentence,

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the skyclad dropped the towel from his shoulder

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and the cooler handle in his palm.

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He turned his head forward

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and closed his eyes.

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Slowly and serenely,

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he brought his open hands outward and upward,

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embracing the moment. "...

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"...it feels like nirvana."

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As if on cue, a sudden gust of wind rushed in from the direction they faced.

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The strands of Pat's hair

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danced along the top of his head.

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His tailfeathers ebbed and flowed as his tail glided along the salty breeze.

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Andrew could only stand

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and stare at the scene before him.

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Even with his bare bits and bottom exposed,

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the avian's pose

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and transcendent aura in that moment reminded him of paintings featured in the MoMA.

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"Hey, naked bird!" a not so far off voice shouted.

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Brought back to reality, the duo was made aware of the black and violet figure in the distance,

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waving and shouting to grab their attention.

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"Hey, naked poodle!"

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Pat called back to Perci with a wave.

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"About time you two showed up!

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I need somebody to get my back," Perci stated,

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holding up a bottle of sunblock.

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"We'll be right there!"

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Pat responded as he collected everything he had dropped,

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"Come on, Andrew. Don't wanna keep her waiting, do ya?"

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Towel and cooler in hand,

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the mint-colored metamour made his way to where Perci was perched.

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The goat followed as well,

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but not before a simple,

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singular thought crept into his head.

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I guess it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world…

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Once they had found the undressed dog resting on her beach blanket,

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the conure and caprinae quickly settled in.

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Pat plopped the cooler down on the beach blanket

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and dug into the food and beverages.

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Meanwhile, per the poodle's request,

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Andrew had grabbed the sunblock and prepared to give Perci a good old-fashioned rubdown.

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"Just need the back done,"

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Perci clarified, as she laid herself down on her belly,

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"I was able to reach everywhere else."

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"What a shame," Andrew said in mock disappointment

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as he squeezed a dollop of the sunscreen into his hand,

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"I would've been sure to do a thorough job covering your body otherwise."

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"Well, who knows? I've been here for a while,"

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Perci teased, sticking her butt in the air,

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"Maybe I'll need a second application real soon."

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"Easy there, ya horndogs!" Patrigue interjected,

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pulling out a pair of sandwiches from the case,

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"I'm not planning on getting kicked out just because you two can't keep it in your pants."

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"What pants?" the canine asked,

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continuing to show off her derriere.

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"Put that thing down, will you?"

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he reprimanded, pointing at the literal downward dog,

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"This is a public beach."

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"Yeah yeah, we know."

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The two horndogs rolled their eyes in unison

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as they settled down.

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With their flirting silenced,

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Andrew began spreading sunblock across Perci's back,

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while Perci remained still

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and enjoyed the impromptu massage,

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even letting out the occasional moan whenever Andrew hit a sweet spot.

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Unfortunately for her, though,

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all good things must come to an end.

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"All right," Andrew stated,

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lifting his hands off of Perci's back and giving her a light smack on the butt,

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"Backside's all good!"

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"Hey!" she complained,

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rubbing her tush.

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He shrugged, "Couldn't let the opportunity go to waste.” "Ugh,

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whatever," she responded,

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picking herself up and standing on her two feet,

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"I'm gonna go swimming.

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Pat, you wanna come?"

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"I would, but I'm a little preoccupied now," he answered,

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motioning to the sandwiches in his hand.

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"You're eating already?"

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"I'm hungry! Besides,

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how do you think I keep this sexy figure?" he joked,

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patting his sizable belly.

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"If that's your plan…"

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she sighed as she turned and began strolling towards the ocean,

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"Just don't eat everything before we get hungry."

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"Don't tempt me!" The poodle continued on her path away from the boys.

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If Perci had heard the avian's remark,

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she didn't show any sign that she had.

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Pat turned to the goat next to him,

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"Yo, Andrew. You want anything from the cooler?"

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"Nah, I'm good." "Okay then."

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And so, he began to chow down to his heart's content.

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With the avian stuffing his face with food

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and Perci splashing about in the waves,

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Andrew decided to spend his time people-watching.

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It wasn't as crowded as the average

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clothing-mandatory beach,

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but there were still a decent amount of beachgoers out today:

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an older flamingo couple off in the distance

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sunbathing in their beach chairs,

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a gecko father teaching his son how to make sandcastles,

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a menagerie of college kids

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throwing a beach ball around in the water,

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and a twentysomething golden retriever

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chatting up the otter lifeguard.

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There were a few others, but those individuals in particular

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happened to catch his eye.

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Something about them just made them stand out in the mountain goat's mind.

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Suddenly, the realization struck him:

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all of them were naked.

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The flamingo couple,

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the college kids,

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heck, even the lifeguard was naked.

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It turns out Pat and Perci weren't the only ones who decided to forgo bathing suits after all.

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Hanging out with the company that he kept,

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Andrew had already become very accustomed to casual nudity.

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However, that didn’t explain how uncannily long it took him to realize

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everyone was actually naked.

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After all, he had eyes, didn’t he?

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Then again, there was an immense difference between the setting of a sexually-fueled play party

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and a clothing-optional beach.

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Pondering on it, he couldn’t help but reminisce about all the kinky hijinx from playtimes past.

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More specifically,

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he recalled how the doms would make a show out of stripping their submissive partners,

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exposing their bodies

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and allowing them to be ogled and objectified by the other partygoers.

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Here, however, there was no such spectacle.

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No weird glances, no catcalling,

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no sensual touching, no funny business whatsoever.

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Everyone here was just out and about,

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relaxing, having fun, and living their lives,

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only sans clothes.

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In fact, as far as he could tell, he was the only person there that still had a set of duds on,

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and the more he doted on that, the more uncomfortable he felt,

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like he was breaking a rule of sorts.

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Of course, the beach was clothing-optional, not clothing-prohibited.

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Nonetheless, sweat was beading up on his forehead,

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the ring of his shirt was beginning to feel damp,

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and the waistband of his trunks started to feel a smidge too tight.

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Andrew eventually figured out that this was more likely due to the heat than any possible

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internal conflict he could fathom.

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And, needless to say,

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there was an obvious solution,

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both for the heat and for the insecurity.

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That being stated,

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the goat wasn’t exactly sure how willing he was to commit to the idea.

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He looked back to the pair that accompanied him.

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Perci was still splashing about in the shallow waves,

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being the free spirit she usually was.

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Meanwhile, Pat had just finished the first sandwich he took from the cooler

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and was now eyeing his second.

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The canine wasn’t necessarily the sole reason behind his adventures in debauchery,

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but he had to admit that his life had become much more extraordinary

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once they began dating.

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And while he hadn’t known the parrot for as long as he had known Perci,

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he was nonetheless glad Perci found somebody who had enjoyed being naked as much as she did.

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He made a good metamour.

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Then, he remembered what Patrigue told him...

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It feels like nirvana…

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It couldn't feel that good, could it?

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The bare bird in question,

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still perched next to his cooler,

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chowing down on the pre-packed sandwiches, appeared to be

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living his best life,

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with not a drop of sweat along his brow nor a single, solitary fuck to give.

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Well, even if it didn't feel as good as he said,

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at least the goat would be in good company.

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With a shrug, a phrase came to mind,

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one he had heard Pat say on multiple occasions.

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"Carpe fucking diem!"

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Tugging at the straps of his tank top,

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Andrew lifted his shirt off

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and let it land beside him on the blanket.

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Almost instantly,

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the sensation of the salty breeze against his bare torso

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made the weather feel five degrees cooler than before.

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The removal of the ring of sweaty cotton

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sticking to his shoulders didn't hurt either.

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With the easy part over with,

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the caprinae dug his thumbs into his waistband.

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The parrot remarked, “Wait,

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are you-” Before Pat even had a chance to finish,

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the goat tugged his swimwear down

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until it reached his knees,

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leaving him nude from the thighs up.

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"Woah," the avian marveled,

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"Didn't expect that."

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"Hey, you're the one who said it feels li-"

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"WOOHOO! YEAH!" the duo suddenly heard.

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Spinning their heads in the direction of the outcry,

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the two found none other than their mutual lover,

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shouting from the salt water.

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"TAKE IT OFF, BABY! SHOW YOUR STUFF!"

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Perci enthusiastically cheered.

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As the canine continued to clamor like a crazy soccer fan,

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Pat could only sigh,

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"She's gonna get us kicked out, I swear..."

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"Still," he added, turning to Andrew with a thumbs up,

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"gotta give you props for trying."

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Andrew smiled as he stepped out of his trunks,

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finally rendering himself skyclad.

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Now adorned in his cloud-white birthday suit,

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he stretched his arms up to the sky

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and embraced his state of undress.

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The gentle wind glided across Andrew's body,

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hugging every inch of his form and leaving goosebumps wherever it touched.

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It was a pleasure he was familiar with,

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albeit exclusively behind the locked doors of private bedrooms as Perci played his body like a glass harp.

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To feel such an excitement from something as natural as a warm summer breeze

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was borderline transcendent.

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It was at that very moment

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Andrew understood why Pat referred to it as nirvana. "I think I'm gonna join Perci," he said as he took his first steps toward the tide.

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"Wait! Hold on!" the conure call after him. "Why?" "If you're gonna drop trou, then you need to sunscreen your hips," he pointed out,

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"Don't want toasted buns, do you?"

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"Oh, right." This was

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“Getting Naked at Gunnison”

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by Patrigue, read for you by Khaki,

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your faithful fireside companion.

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You can find more stories on the web at thevoice.dog,

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or find the show wherever you get your podcasts.

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Thank you for listening

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to The Voice of Dog.

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The Voice of Dog
Furry stories to warm the ol' cockles, read by Rob MacWolf and guests. If you have a story that would suit the show, you can get in touch with @VoiceOfDog@meow.social on Mastodon, @voiceofdog.bsky.social on Blue Sky, or @Theodwulf on Telegram.

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Khaki