“Counter-Culture” by Televassi

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You’re listening to The Voice of Dog.

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I’m Khaki, your faithful fireside companion,

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and today’s story is

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“Counter Curlture” by Televassi,

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who is a furry writer living in the UK,

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and you can find more of their writing through Thurston Howl Publications,

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Furplanet, and Sofawolf.

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This story was originally published in the anthology

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“What the Fox”, available at Thurston Howl Publications.

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“Counter-Curlture”

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by Televassi Den-mother was a moon-fearing wolf.

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She was always bristling her tail about her litter’s future;

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paws perpetually stained with ink from the latest newspaper articles on the troublesome youth.

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She lifted her ears whenever the balding elders spoke,

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drinking in their words,

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tongue twisted against her teeth as they slavered endlessly about their issues. ‘They

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spend their money on avocado on toast,

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and wear their jeans two inches lower than their parents -

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rapping rather than howling at the moon!

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They even have no interest in building dens together!”

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And Den-mother would nod along with those wolves and mutter to herself,

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“If their pack mentality isn’t curtailed,

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I dread to think about the future!”

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Because the first thing you should know about wolves,

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is that pack mentality determines

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everything. If enough of the pack does it,

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everyone else follows suit.

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They say. So, instead of spending my Sundays eating sweets and sneaking up on horses with my friends, I was dragged indoors by the scruff of my neck to be told

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how to be a ‘proper’ wolf.

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The lessons were on everything a 21st century wolf like me

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didn’t need to know;

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like the how’s, when’s, where’s, and who’s for holding your tail.

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Or ‘traditional language’ -

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that’s biting, howling, barking, sniffing.

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Apparently it’s a dying art because too many of us speak only English these days.

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I never experienced a free Sunday as a result;

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I only knew about them by staring out the window listening to the laughter as the rest of the world skipped on by,

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unfettered by their heritage.

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Today was no different.

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The old one eye stood at the front of the room,

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tapping his chipped claws against the desk,

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lecturing a young wolf with faded purple streaks in her otherwise brown mane

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about how she ought to have memorized the phases of the moon.

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It’s obvious Evie’s not listening;

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it’s easy to follow her green eyes as they darted around, counting how many patches of wrinkled skin she can spot

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as they peered out from underneath that old fool’s thinning fur.

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Satisfied, the elder snapped his jaws and strode back to the whiteboard,

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arching his neck as if about to howl.

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“Can’t you feel it flowing through your veins -

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don’t you feel wild,

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powerful?” He growled,

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clawing his fur as he strutted to the back of the classroom.

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“As beasts we were feared and admired!

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We were the first to be uplifted because we were those things to humans,

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and even later to the rest of modified kind!

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Yet you pups would rather live without it,

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abandoning your proud traditions,

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copying everyone else like an uncultured mongrel!”

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I rolled my eyes.

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Not this again; not the

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‘how can you be a wolf if you’ve got dyed fur’ thing.

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I cast my eye back out the window,

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watching my friends - Blue and Shadow -

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make faces at the windows as they cycled by.

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They laughed and shouted,

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tongues waving in the air like pink ribbons as they sped past.

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They had it so easy, being dogs.

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The old one leapt forward, slapping his paw on my desk -

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pressing a single, yellowed fang against my neck.

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I wrinkled my muzzle;

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his breath stank of rotten meat as he tried that primal method of discipline.

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If it hadn’t fizzled out from our genes generations ago,

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he might have been able to make me take heed.

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“You should remember,

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you are no dog. A dog obeys.

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A dog follows. They are the ones who slunk towards the human’s campfires because their pelts were thin.

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They are the ones who raided prehistoric man’s rubbish

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because they couldn’t take down prey themselves.”

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He leaned closer,

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pressing his withered muzzle against my neck.

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“If you ever want to be someone,

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you should never fraternize with dogs,” he whispered.

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In truth, it was my friends that formed the main reason why den-mother sent me here.

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She clawed her fur incessantly about it -

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those loud, noisy huskies.

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Always barking away - Bark! Bark! Bark! -

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“You do it all the time at home, you don’t even notice it, you can’t control it!” She cried.

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“And stop curling your tail!”

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It never mattered what I argued,

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to her I clearly didn’t know how to behave myself when out with other dens,

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hide my disinterest in hunting, or my desire to give up meat.

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They were things that, she believed,

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came from some immature desire to copy what non-wolves did,

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because it was ‘edgy’ and ‘cool’.

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“You’re doing these classes for your own good!” Den-mother snapped. “You’ll thank me when you’re older!”

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And Den-father, who at least was still around then,

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nodded silently at that,

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his muzzle peering up from the newspaper,

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wolfish features so stock and same that if I didn’t remember his scent, he could have been anyone.

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They missed the point.

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It was about being different.

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Why be like everyone else, when you can be yourself?

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I ground my teeth,

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waiting for the smelly old wolf to finish rambling on,

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picking at my fur in anger and resentment.

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He pulled away, going back to strutting down the aisles, holding his thinning tail high like a leafless branch in autumn while I brushed his slobber from my fur with a lavender-scented tissue.

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“We wolves are the leaders of the uplifted community.

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Be true to the pack,

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and you will do your heritage proud,” he continued,

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glaring at me. I made sure our exchange was mutual. I wouldn’t let him believe I’d submitted.

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I took it as salvation that the bell finally rang.

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“Remember, next Sunday I want a five page report on the importance and applications of scent-marking!” he howled,

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swept aside by the tide of fur rushing through the door with clacking claws.

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Skidding down the corridors on all fours, I leapt out the door and stood tall,

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stretching out my arms as I held my paws up to the sun.

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Sweet freedom, at last.

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Ignoring the rest of the pack as they filtered back to their parent’s cars,

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I raced on ahead,

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losing sight of them as I weaved past a herd of horses

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kicking a ball against the red-brick walls,

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wrinkling my nose at their strong, musty sweat dripping from their manes.

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Den-mother hadn’t arrived yet;

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she’d texted that she was still stuck in traffic on the freeway,

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so that gave me precious time to meet my friends.

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Despite what the old wolf said,

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I envied them. Dogs had life easy.

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They didn’t have a

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mythical legacy to uphold, or anxious parents that forced them to attend stupid classes.

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I slunk into the bushes,

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creeping round the brittle branches,

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earthy pelt blending in despite the blond highlights Blue had added last time we hung out.

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Den-Mother flipped when she saw them,

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but there wasn’t much she could do but wait for them to fade.

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I could hear them laughing and joking quietly ahead,

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my ears twitching as excitement built.

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I caught the sweet scent of their deodorant

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and the smell of cigarettes.

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Smoking behind the bike sheds - how predictable.

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Imitating Mr. Johnson’s plodding hooves,

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I burst out of the bushes, holding my arms above my head,

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thrashing them about as my ‘antlers’ caught in the branches.

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His genetics meant he never shed them though -

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making them horns.

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It always was a great game to see how loudly you can say that without landing yourself straight into detention.

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“Fuck, it’s only Straight-Tail!” Blue swore,

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tongue lolling out of her mouth as she tried to revive his discarded cigarette.

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“You owe me a new one,”

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she growled, doing his best to hold back the grin twitching at her lips.

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“Don’t they ever smell the smoke on you?”

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I asked, wrinkling my nose.

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I could smell the acrid tang clinging to their fluffy coats,

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the evidence was obvious enough.

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“At least I’m careful to roll the scent away before I go,”

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I shrugged, grabbing one from her and lighting up. “Pff,

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they teach you that in those stupid wolf-classes?” She huffed,

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blowing a ring towards me.

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I poked my muzzle through it like a dog catching a loop,

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before champing down on it with a flash of my teeth.

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“It don’t matter,” Blue continued.

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“Not even a wolf has their sense of smell half as strong as a feral -

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and even if they smell something - teacher’s got to prove it,” she barked,

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laughing. “If they don’t catch it lit in your hand,

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they can’t do nothing,” she grinned,

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wagging her curly tail.

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“See Straight-Tail, despite what your parents say it’s great to have human rules.

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They might not run on fours or smell a thing, but they’ve got fair minds.”

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Blue puffed, watching the smoke trail of into the air.

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“That scent could’ve gotten from anywhere,” she continued,

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shaking her thick mane in the sun.

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“Could’ve just been near someone on the bus,

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on the train-” “You’re yappering now Blue,

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Straight-Tail’s a sharp one,” Shadow sighed,

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punching the husky on the arm.

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“He’s not dumb enough to be hoodwinked back to the straight and narrow by some fossil trying to reverse your wayward pack mentality.”

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Blue grinned, fiddling with her blue highlights and lip piercing,

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pulling them in mock horror.

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I absolutely loved how she looked, and I couldn’t wait to turn sixteen so I could get a piercing of my own.

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“-Best point humans ever thought up though,

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they’ve got this big thing about individualtism.”

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“In-di-vid-ual-ism, Blue,”

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Shadow corrected.

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“You’ve gotta spend more time practicing your English if you want end up living with them.”

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“Then don’t try an’ shut me up when I talk!”

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Blue snapped, the icy highlights on her hackles standing up as if electrified.

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“It’s easy for you, you already live with ‘em.”

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“Fair point,” Shadow sat back,

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exposing his neck to Blue’s teeth.

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“Humans have got their flaws, don’t get me wrong,”

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he continued, turning back to me.

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“But you know, you shouldn’t ignore them because they’ve got no fur.

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There’s no pack mentality with ‘em,

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it’s just about being yourself,” Shadow finished,

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tapping my snout gently. “-

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you mean them!” Blue barked excitedly,

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correcting Shadow’s mistake.

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The black husky frowned, sighing into his paws.

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“Just one mistake and-”

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he muttered. “Aw come on, don’t strop!

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Straight-tail’s not got the time for us to be fighting,” Blue replied, smacking Shadow on the thigh.

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“You do have a point,” he relented,

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fiddling with the blonde and green highlights in his mane so they trailed down across his shoulder and muzzle like a human’s hair. “We’ve been thinking about

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you and us kid,

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and we think we’ve come up with something to show you’re one of us -

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a real 21st century dog.”

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“Yeah,” Blue giggled, squeezing my arm.

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“We think it’s pretty great that you hang out with us -

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too many wolves get all pointy-nosed about us.”

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“Ugh, don’t get me started on our outdated obsession with being ‘wild, noble, and majestic’ beasts,”

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I replied, rolling my eyes.

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They joined in with me.

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“Yeah, it’s awful they coop you up like a game hen in there all the time - so we’ve got the perfect prank

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to get revenge on your teacher.”

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“After today, I’m more than eager,”

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I muttered, refusing to elaborate despite their looks.

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“Oh yeah? Anyway, you’ll like this,”

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Shadow laughed, rummaging around in his satchel.

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“It’ll serve him right,

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spewing all that crap about dogs.

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Don’t sweat it if you need more,” he said,

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throwing me a silver jar covered in a couple of scratch-marks

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and half-peeled stickers.

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“Well, we had to take the branding off otherwise it’d probably get confiscated if they caught you with it,”

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Shadow shrugged, preening his chest fur.

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“I didn’t realize hair gel was so dangerous,” I moaned,

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rolling my eyes. This was stupid, and wouldn’t do anything.

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“Not that excited huh Straight-Tail?”

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Blue teased me, catching the unimpressed look on my muzzle as she bit her lip piercing between her teeth.

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Shadow shot her mate a scolding look.

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“It’s about what you can do with it,”

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the husky grinned.

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“Extra strength, specially formulated for fur.

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It’ll keep the shine in your pelt, it won’t glue your fur together and best yet, it’s got no smell,

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so they won’t know you’re even wearing it.

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But here’s the thing,

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if you want rid of it,

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you’ve got to wash it off with special formula -

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otherwise it’ll last for weeks!”

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“What are you thinking?”

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I asked them, watching as they curled their tails up tightly behind them,

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bristling in excitement.

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“Well, for one, you’re one of us kid.

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You don’t give in to their pack mentality crap,

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so, we thought it’d be pretty cool to gel you up with a curl too,”

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Blue smiled, tongue lolling out of her mouth as she leapt over to hug me,

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working the cigarette smoke and husky scent into my fur.

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“But Shadow’s got a great idea,” she continued,

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tossing me the small blue tub containing the remedy.

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“But better yet,” Shadow sighed, pulling her off me,

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“if you use those wolf skills of yours to sneak into your teacher's house-”

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“And work this into his tail...” Blue whispered.

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Both the huskies nodded, sharing my smirk.

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“Oh Straight-Tail, this is gonna be more fun than a house on fire.” ***

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Den-mother was full of questions as she flipped the indicators on and swerved onto the freeway.

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“How was your day?

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Did you eat a big lunch? What did you learn?”

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I had few answers,

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trying instead to concentrate on stopping my ears

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from twitching every time we drove over the gaps between the road’s concrete slabs. Thunk thunk, thunk thunk, thunk thunk.

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Even with the radio on, it was loud and irritating.

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“How come we’re not running home by the river?”

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That was the quieter alternative after all,

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and Den-Father always went that way when he came to pick me up.

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Cars were loud,

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noisy, and left the stink of asphalt in your fur that took days to get rid

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of. “I’ve got to pick up your younger litter-mates from nursery and then get dinner ready,” she sighed,

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combing her claws through her tangled mane.

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After Den-father had just become father,

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she’d put less and less effort into keeping up her appearance.

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I’d overheard their

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‘conversations’ the night she came out from hospital

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after their small litter,

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and despite everything, he became a voice at the end of the telephone

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and a scent I knew once a month.

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“It would be nice to hear you answer me about your day,” she snapped.

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She cursed abruptly,

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sounding her horn at a deer who swerved into the middle lane without indicating.

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“Too many idiots let loose on the road these days.”

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Should have taken the river run.

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“My day was long.

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Just more stuff about how to hold your tail, and why you should categorize by scent rather than name.

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name.” “Geez, I swear the old coot says one thing useful

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and then immediately comes back with some rubbish.”

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My tail twitched.

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“Mom, it’s all rubbish.

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Shadow says that-”

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“For the last time, it’s not about them,

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it’s about you,” she growled -

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but not unkindly.

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“You’ve got to know how to behave if you want to have any chance of getting on in life.”

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Den-mother clicked the indicators on against

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as she turned off under the sign for Stargazer Avenue.

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The white picket fences didn’t divide much here,

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everything was the same on either side.

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“You’ve got to learn how to make your way among wolf society if you want a bright future.

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If you turn up to an interview without holding your tail correctly, no one will take you seriously.”

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“But-” “I don’t expect you to understand now,” she said,

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turning up into the driveway and stopping the engine.

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I knew it was futile to attempt to argue further.

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I spent that evening picking at my chickpeas and lentils while the rest of the pack tucked into rare slabs of meat

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with abandon - a diet only tolerated because I still kept that oily luster to my fur

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thanks to grooming supplies Shadow smuggled to me.

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I kept thinking about the pot of hair gel in my backpack.

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When I finally got dismissed I rushed up to the shower, unable to keep a firm hold of my tail

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as it flicked about with delight.

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I popped the cap open with my claw and reached behind me,

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rubbing it into my fur,

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pulling it upwards.

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I waited ten minutes,

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then let go. In the mirror I watched a grin stretch across my face,

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wider than any before.

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It didn’t just smile for joy,

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but also for revenge. ***

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Blue snickered like a hyena.

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Shadow tried in vain to hide his smirk.

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“This is gonna be so funny,”

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they both whispered,

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digging their paws into their sides as they tried to contain themselves.

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“I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he wakes up.”

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Wolford, for all his talk about being so much like a wolf,

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slept like a rock.

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You could hear his snoring from outside his house, night and day, and he woke for little.

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I remembered this from his very first lesson;

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a true wolf sleeps lightly and often.

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That slip was the thing that I seized upon,

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and I held to that flaw like a torch.

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“Serves him right for all this ‘true wolf’ crap I’ve had to put up with,”

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I muttered, sneaking closer.

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“Yeah, this’ll teach that stuffy old fart for forcing you to spend your Sunday’s cooped up in a classroom

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rather than hanging out with us,”

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Shadow replied. “Geez!”

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Blue gagged. “I can smell him out from here already,”

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she wrinkled her muzzle,

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pawing at her snout as she rolled her tongue across her nose,

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trying to wipe away the smell. “Does he ever wash?”

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“Not a chance -

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a true wolf doesn’t demean his nature with perfumes,”

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I groaned. “Is that the crap they have you chant out?”

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Shadow swore. “You think that’s bad, try reciting the list of foods that a wolf shouldn’t eat.”

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I paused. “Chocolate’s one of them.”

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“What? When they made our species they took out that gene-flaw - and even then,

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they make all chocolate without it anyway!”

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“Yeah, what gives?” Blue added,

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“If it wasn’t the case, then I’d have conked it long ago!”

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The husky fidgeted,

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paws rummaging around in her wrapper filled pockets as if to prove a point.

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“Yeah, but you can still die from it if you keep eating so much,” Shadow teased,

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even though Blue was as skinny as they come.

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“Hey, my parents give it to me because they love me!”

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“And keeping up that puppy fat just makes you look so adorable!” Shadow retorted,

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grabbing the husky’s cheeks and making a mock cooing noise.

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Blue growled and snapped back at him, cursing as she swiped at Shadow’s face -

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but he jumped away, snickering and laughing at his friend.

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“Shh! You’ll wake him up if you keep at it,”

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I snapped, losing my patience.

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They never seemed able to stop goofing around.

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“Come on,” Shadow hollered,

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“you said yourself he sleeps through anything!”

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“Shut up, Straight-Tail’s right!”

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Blue intervened. “If we get this done,

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then we can all hang out together again, like the good times.”

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Shadow grumbled and bit his lip,

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fiddling with the blonde and green highlights against the black streaks of fur on his forearms.

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“So how’re you going to get in there?”

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Blue asked, cocking her head.

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“Door’s locked, and he’s not one to keep a feral and have a dog-flap, is he?”

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“I’m surprised he even has

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a house, considering how much he behaves like one,” Shadow retorted, still sulking.

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Leaving them to bicker,

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I jogged around the building looking for a way in.

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The heat of the night was oppressive,

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forcing me to loll my tongue outside my muzzle and pant;

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something ill becoming of a wolf.

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It kept me cool though.

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The temperature had gotten to the old wolf too though.

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Off to the side of the white-picket porch he’d left a window open;

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curtains curling outwards as they caught the slight breeze.

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Just to the side of the porch, a rusty, antique drainpipe led upwards,

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close enough that if I climbed up it,

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I could get on top of the porch

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and then I’d just have to reach up and pull myself in through the window.

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“No way you can get up that way,”

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Blue shrugged. “You’ve got paws kiddo,

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no way you can grab and haul yourself up that thing.”

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The husky dug into her pockets,

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whipping out a screwdriver and a set of pliers, snapping them together.

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“We’re not breaking in!” I snapped.

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“But that’s exactly what we’re doing?”

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Blue sighed and scratched her head,

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kicking the grass with her paw as I took hold of the drainpipe.

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The screws wobbled, but it held firm;

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the rust crunching underneath my paws.

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I smirked at Blue as I pulled my way up.

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I tried to hide the tremor in my legs as I stepped out onto the porch,

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looking down at the two huskies who stood together,

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clutching each other’s arms,

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tails curled up behind them.

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As soon as they caught me looking,

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they pushed each other back,

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snapping half-heartedly at each other like it was some sort of mistake.

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Taking a deep breath,

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I pushed the window up

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and slipped inside.

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It was dark inside.

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It stank; the air inside layered like heavy dust,

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none of the scents flushed out from here in weeks.

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I took a moment for my eyes to adjust from the moonlight,

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hoping that the old wolf wouldn’t wake upon smelling my scent.

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He kept on snoring like some old human,

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tongue caught outside his jaws,

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sticking out all puffy and dry.

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He lay on his side,

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the bed sheets kicked off and rolled up over his ankles;

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sleeping pills scattered like grains of sand across his bedside table.

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Creeping forward,

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I took out the gel,

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lathering my paws up with it,

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grinning, remembering the lessons where Wolford had insisted we practice moving silently; ‘like

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a true wolf stalks its prey’.

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I bit my lip, trying to keep my hands from trembling as my excitement built,

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working the thick gel into his ragged tail,

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curling it backwards.

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The urge to shout, to declare some victory crept up my throat,

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but I stayed silent,

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listening to the growing patter of raindrops outside.

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When I slid back down the drainpipe, Blue and Shadow were sprinting back and forth,

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trying to vent their excitement.

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I joined them, pumping my legs,

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paws clawing and taking out chunks of turf

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as I outstripped them,

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laughing as the growing rain washed away our scents -

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not that anyone these days had the nose to notice. ***

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The next day passed in agitation;

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seconds stubbornly bending away like the hairs of a cat on edge.

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We spent the day sprinting through fields and

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tangled undergrowth - even ducking out of my last class to spend the hour with Blue and Shadow

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behind the bike sheds stuffing our muzzles full of chocolate.

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When Den-Mother picked me up,

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muddy-pelted and reeking of sweat,

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all wildness in my eyes, she made a fervent prayer through gritted fangs that I’d learn some manners in class tomorrow,

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else I’d be the one scrubbing the floors clean.

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The look on her face was priceless when we bumped into James,

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a deer who lived next door to Wolford.

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“Gotta say, my mom’s relieved.

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For the first time ever he was silent last night - and the one before!

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About time he stopped waking everyone up with all his damn howling,

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even if he is that ill!”

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he said as he went about scraping the velveteen off his antlers.

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Den-Mother flinched when he said that.

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She didn’t ask me about the lessons that day. ***

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The next day all the wolves found ourselves corralled into the classroom by Emerson the head teacher;

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a white-pelted moose

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with lofty antlers.

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The scent of excitement lingered in the air,

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subtle but electric,

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enough to get some hackles standing on edge -

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the instinct to follow tingling in my tail.

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“You may not be aware that Mr. Wolford has been poorly for the last few days,

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however he has insisted on coming in today for your lesson today.

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I hope you’ll show him due respect for his commitment

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to your education,”

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He finished, muzzle falling back into his trademark squat,

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grumpy shape as he walked out the door.

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Wolford limped through the held door,

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holding himself without any of his usual demeanor.

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He was hunched over, sullen-eyed, defensive;

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keeping his back to the door at all times -

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crossing over to his desk by sidestepping like a crab.

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Instead of standing, he sat,

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resting his gaunt arms upon the desk,

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propping up his skeletal frame with his thinning paws.

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It was plain to see;

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he reeked of worry,

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his eyelids were haggard

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and seemed to scrape across his eyes whenever he blinked.

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Instead of launching into his usual tirade, he just sat there,

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staring back out at the class

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as the class stared back at him.

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“It’s hard being an old wolf,”

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he murmured, forcing the room’s ears to point and lean forward.

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“We don’t tend to age well.

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In the old days, I would have met my end in the hunt as soon as the cold started to creep into my bones.”

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He paused, running his tongue across his gums,

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nostrils flaring.

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“But it’s against our spirit to lie down and give up,”

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he said. “Now, please get out your essays I set you last week,”

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he commanded, standing up and in doing so,

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revealing his curled tail.

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In unison, the entire front row of the claw cocked their heads.

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“Sir, that’s not how you hold your tail!”

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Stevie, a young arctic wolf barked.

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Wolford stood still.

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He gritted his teeth,

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tendons visibly straining on his bald patches,

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as he tried - and failed -

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to straighten his tail.

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“No,” he growled, glaring at the pup,

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“but as you age your body changes-”

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“But that’s a dog’s tail!” The white wolf bit his tongue, confused.

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“Will my tail curl when I get older?”

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Evie, Stevie’s sister cried out, clutching her tail.

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“It could happen to anyone!” Fred barked,

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laughing as the younger wolves fretted at themselves with their paws.

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“Emerson said you were sick!

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What if I get sick?”

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Tom leapt back, his chair clattering on the floor - and with it,

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the pin dropped. A rumination of excitement rippled through the wolves.

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The scent of it rose throughout the room,

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stifling all others.

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I felt my heart lurch.

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My toes curled, claws scraping against the floor.

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I bit my tongue, but my muzzle twitched.

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Pack mentality kicked in.

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That old, venerable wolf who had set the standard of what made a wolf,

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was here with his tail bent back like a common dog.

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And everyone followed.

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All behind the desks,

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poking out from behind their chairs, the pack’s tails rose,

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bristling - pulled back, as if drawn taut by invisible strings.

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The class no longer looked like wolves,

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but an entire chaos of huskies.

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They laughed and cried and shouted as he tried to instill order, but they were infected now,

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and no matter how loudly he growled or bared his teeth,

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they scrapped about with each other like sled-dogs fighting to get free of the traces.

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Then they broke out,

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sprinting along the corridors with their ridiculous tails bobbing about behind them;

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shrieking out for their parents as they cried about the contagion.

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It was a beautiful ruckus.

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Blue and Shadow ran in to join me,

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howling like wolves in their laughter,

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holding their hands over their faces as we jumped up and down, struggling to vent the excitement that flowed through us,

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watching as the younger wolves rushed towards their parent’s

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who still hadn’t yet left the school.

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Den-Mother spotted me, barking loudly,

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ears pricked upright in alarm.

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“What happened?” she questioned, shaking me while the other parents bickered.

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“He infected our children!”

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“He taught them how to act like a dog!”

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“Absolutely despicable! I’m not letting my litter near him again!”

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Den-Mother sighed,

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biting her lip, folding her ears.

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She grabbed hold of me,

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patting me down, whispering to me.

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She reached back, cautiously patting my tail - which in spite of it all, remained straight.

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“I should have trusted you when you said you knew how to behave,” she apologized, shoulders sagging.

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“It’s just been hard without your father.”

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I said nothing, catching Shadow stamp down on Blue’s foot

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before she opened her mouth and ruined it.

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“Does this mean you won’t send me to those classes anymore?”

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I asked. “I know how to behave,”

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I replied, edging her on.

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She pulled back, frowning.

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“As long as you continue to behave,”

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she smiled, taking my paw.

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I took that moment to hold my tail high in triumph -

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just like a proper wolf.

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As we drove home, my phone buzzed as Shadow texted me. ‘When

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do you think you’re going to wash the gel out of your tail?’

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I smiled, but I didn’t reply.

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This story was Counter-Culture by Televassi,

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read for you by Khaki, your faithful fireside companion.

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Thank you for listening to the Voice of Dog