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[18+] “Don't Call Me Bee” by Norm, the Inadequate Cat

[18+] Shelby takes everything seriously. His boyfriend Curt does not. Curt has a job interview today and Shelby worries how it will go.

Today’s story is “Don’t Call Me Bee” by Norm, the Inadequate Cat, whose feet are always cold, and you can find more of his stories on AO3.

Read for you by Rob MacWolf — werewolf hitchhiker.

thevoice.dog | Apple podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts

If you have a story you think would be a good fit, you can check out the requirements, fill out the submission template and get in touch with us.

https://thevoice.dog/episode/18-dont-call-me-bee-by-norm-the-inadequate-cat

Transcript
Speaker:

Voice

Speaker:

of

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Dog.

Speaker:

This

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is

Speaker:

Rob MacWolf,

Speaker:

your

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fellow

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traveler,

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and

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Today’s

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story

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is “Don’t

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Call

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Me Bee” by Norm, the

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Inadequate

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Cat,

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whose

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feet

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are

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always

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cold, and

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you

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can

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find

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more

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of

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his

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stories

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on

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AO3.

Please

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enjoy


“Don’t

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Call

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Me

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Bee” by Norm,

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The

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Inadequate

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Cat

Shelby

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woke up at 5:30 AM, as always, just before his 5:35 AM alarm. Without

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the

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benefit

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of

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conscious

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thought,

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the

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slender

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cat

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kicked

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off

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his

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covers,

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slid

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his

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paws

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gently

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onto

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the

Speaker:

floor,

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and

Speaker:

padded

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to

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the

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bathroom.

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Still

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without

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the

Speaker:

benefit

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of

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conscious

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thought,

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he

Speaker:

finished

Speaker:

his

Speaker:

business, and

Speaker:

made

Speaker:

his

Speaker:

way

Speaker:

to

Speaker:

the

Speaker:

kitchen

Speaker:

for

Speaker:

coffee

Speaker:

and

Speaker:

breakfast.

Speaker:

His

Speaker:

favorite

Speaker:

coffee

Speaker:

mug

Speaker:

stared

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at

Speaker:

him

Speaker:

from

Speaker:

the

Speaker:

sink,

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mournfully,

Speaker:

still

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dirty

Speaker:

from

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yesterday.

Speaker:

A

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sensible

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black

Speaker:

mug

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with

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a

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gold

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foil

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rim.

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Understated,

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classy,

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and

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very ‘Shelby.’

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Not

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wanting

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to

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wash

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dishes

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at

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this

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hour,

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Shelby

Speaker:

opened

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the

Speaker:

cupboard

Speaker:

and

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scrounged

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around

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for

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a

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lesser

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coffee

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vessel,

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eventually

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finding

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one

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of

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Curt’s “Nobody

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Knows

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I’m

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Gay”

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novelty

Speaker:

mugs.

Speaker:

He

Speaker:

sighed, unamused

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by

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the

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mug’s silly

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catchphrase,

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and

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prepared

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the

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coffee.
While

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the

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coffee

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machine

Speaker:

chortled

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and

Speaker:

sputtered

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away,

Speaker:

he

Speaker:

began

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making

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himself

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breakfast. He

Speaker:

reached for

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the

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jar

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of

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peanut

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butter,

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grabbing

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it

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by

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the

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lid;

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when

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he lifted it, the lid stayed in his paw while the jar itself clattered

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to

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the

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floor. “Fucking Curt,”

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was

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the

Speaker:

cat’s

Speaker:

first

Speaker:

truly

Speaker:

vivid

Speaker:

conscious

Speaker:

thought.

Speaker:

His

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dog

Speaker:

boyfriend

Speaker:

had

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simply

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left

Speaker:

the

Speaker:

lid

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on

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top

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of

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the

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jar, not

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bothering

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to

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screw

Speaker:

it

Speaker:

down.

Speaker:

Like

Speaker:

he

Speaker:

always

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did.

Speaker:

He

Speaker:

groaned

Speaker:

as

Speaker:

he

Speaker:

bent

Speaker:

over

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to

Speaker:

pick

Speaker:

up

Speaker:

the

Speaker:

jar but

Speaker:

before

Speaker:

he

Speaker:

could

Speaker:

get

Speaker:

his

Speaker:

clawed

Speaker:

grip

Speaker:

on

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it,

Speaker:

he

Speaker:

felt

Speaker:

himself

Speaker:

yanked

Speaker:

backwards.

Speaker:

Two

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massive,

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strong

Speaker:

paws

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grabbed him

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by

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the

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hips and

Speaker:

rammed

Speaker:

his

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round

Speaker:

backside

Speaker:

into

Speaker:

his

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boyfriend’s

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crotch,

Speaker:

mimicking “doggy

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style”

Speaker:

sex.
“Good

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morning,

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Curt,”

Speaker:

the

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cat

Speaker:

hissed

Speaker:

annoyedly
“Morning,

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beautiful!”

Speaker:

Curt

Speaker:

responded,

Speaker:

enthusiastically

Speaker:

giving

Speaker:

Shelby

Speaker:

another

Speaker:

dry

Speaker:

hump

Speaker:

to

Speaker:

the

Speaker:

backside

Speaker:

of

Speaker:

his

Speaker:

boxer

Speaker:

shorts.
“Would

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it

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kill

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you

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to

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act

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civilized?”

Speaker:

Shelby

Speaker:

complained,

Speaker:

wiggling

Speaker:

free

Speaker:

of

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the

Speaker:

dog’s

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grip

Speaker:

and

Speaker:

retrieving

Speaker:

his

Speaker:

peanut

Speaker:

butter

Speaker:

jar

Speaker:

from

Speaker:

the

Speaker:

kitchen

Speaker:

floor.

Speaker:

He

Speaker:

turned

Speaker:

around,

Speaker:

not

Speaker:

really

Speaker:

expecting

Speaker:

an

Speaker:

answer

Speaker:

when Curt

Speaker:

planted a

Speaker:

big

Speaker:

sloppy

Speaker:

kiss

Speaker:

on

Speaker:

his

Speaker:

muzzle,

Speaker:

then

Speaker:

licked

Speaker:

him

Speaker:

from

Speaker:

his

Speaker:

neck

Speaker:

all

Speaker:

the

Speaker:

way

Speaker:

to

Speaker:

the

Speaker:

top

Speaker:

of

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his

Speaker:

head;

Speaker:

Curt’s

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considerable

Speaker:

height

Speaker:

advantage

Speaker:

made

Speaker:

this

Speaker:

easy

Speaker:

for

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him.

Speaker:

The

Speaker:

dog’s wide,

Speaker:

wet

Speaker:

tongue

Speaker:

created

Speaker:

a

Speaker:

path

Speaker:

of

Speaker:

slicked-up

Speaker:

fur

Speaker:

on

Speaker:

the

Speaker:

cat’s

Speaker:

face

Speaker:

that

Speaker:

made

Speaker:

Shelby’s

Speaker:

angry

Speaker:

expression

Speaker:

even

Speaker:

cuter.
“Fuck’s

Speaker:

sake,

Speaker:

Curt!”
Curt’s

Speaker:

expression

Speaker:

changed

Speaker:

to

Speaker:

a

Speaker:

somber,

Speaker:

serious

Speaker:

look.

Speaker:

He

Speaker:

leaned

Speaker:

closer

Speaker:

to

Speaker:

his

Speaker:

fussy

Speaker:

cat

Speaker:

boyfriend

Speaker:

and

Speaker:

said “Bee,

Speaker:

I

Speaker:

have

Speaker:

to

Speaker:

tell

Speaker:

you

Speaker:

something”
“Don’t

Speaker:

call

Speaker:

me ‘Bee,’” Shelby complained.
He leaned even

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closer,

Speaker:

his

Speaker:

hot

Speaker:

breath

Speaker:

moving

Speaker:

the cat’s

Speaker:

fur

Speaker:

along

Speaker:

his

Speaker:

neck
Curt

Speaker:

said,

triumphantly:

“You’re

triumphantly:

purring”
“I

triumphantly:

am

triumphantly:

not!”

triumphantly:

Shelby

triumphantly:

protested.

triumphantly:

He

triumphantly:

was,

triumphantly:

though.

triumphantly:

There

triumphantly:

was

triumphantly:

no

triumphantly:

point in

triumphantly:

denying

triumphantly:

it;

triumphantly:

Curt’s

triumphantly:

playful

triumphantly:

abuse

triumphantly:

had

triumphantly:

gotten the

triumphantly:

slim

triumphantly:

cat’s

triumphantly:

attention. “Bah. Why was I

triumphantly:

cursed

triumphantly:

with such

triumphantly:

a

triumphantly:

hot,

triumphantly:

strong

triumphantly:

boyfriend?”

triumphantly:

Shelby

triumphantly:

cried

triumphantly:

in

triumphantly:

mock

triumphantly:

anguish. “What

triumphantly:

have

triumphantly:

I

triumphantly:

done

triumphantly:

to

triumphantly:

deserve

triumphantly:

this

triumphantly:

cruel

triumphantly:

fate?”
“You

triumphantly:

got

triumphantly:

that

triumphantly:

butt.

triumphantly:

I

triumphantly:

mean.

triumphantly:

I

triumphantly:

love

triumphantly:

you.

triumphantly:

But

triumphantly:

it’s

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

butt, Bee.”
“Oh

triumphantly:

is

triumphantly:

that

triumphantly:

it?

triumphantly:

It’s

triumphantly:

not

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

free

triumphantly:

rent

triumphantly:

in

triumphantly:

my

triumphantly:

apartment

triumphantly:

or

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

blessing

triumphantly:

of

triumphantly:

my

triumphantly:

companionship?

triumphantly:

It’s

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

butt?”
“It’s

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

butt,

triumphantly:

yeah.

triumphantly:

I

triumphantly:

mean,

triumphantly:

mostly.

triumphantly:

Mostly

triumphantly:

butt.

triumphantly:

The

triumphantly:

donk.

triumphantly:

The

triumphantly:

booty.

triumphantly:

The

triumphantly:

dump

triumphantly:

truck.”
Tired

triumphantly:

of

triumphantly:

this

triumphantly:

little

triumphantly:

game,

triumphantly:

Shelby

triumphantly:

abruptly

triumphantly:

changed

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

subject, “Speaking

triumphantly:

of

triumphantly:

free

triumphantly:

rent -

triumphantly:

you’re

triumphantly:

going

triumphantly:

to

triumphantly:

that

triumphantly:

job

triumphantly:

interview

triumphantly:

today,

triumphantly:

right?”

triumphantly:

He

triumphantly:

emphasized the

triumphantly:

last

triumphantly:

word

triumphantly:

so

triumphantly:

Curt

triumphantly:

would

triumphantly:

know

triumphantly:

he

triumphantly:

was

triumphantly:

serious.

triumphantly:

Curt

triumphantly:

had

triumphantly:

been

triumphantly:

out

triumphantly:

of

triumphantly:

work

triumphantly:

for

triumphantly:

a

triumphantly:

few

triumphantly:

months, and

triumphantly:

while

triumphantly:

Shelby

triumphantly:

did

triumphantly:

not

triumphantly:

mind

triumphantly:

supporting

triumphantly:

him

triumphantly:

financially,

triumphantly:

bills

triumphantly:

were

triumphantly:

starting

triumphantly:

to

triumphantly:

pile

triumphantly:

up

triumphantly:

with

triumphantly:

only

triumphantly:

one

triumphantly:

income.

triumphantly:

Curt

triumphantly:

had

triumphantly:

been

triumphantly:

on

triumphantly:

a

triumphantly:

few

triumphantly:

interviews

triumphantly:

but

triumphantly:

none successfully; he

triumphantly:

felt

triumphantly:

awkward

triumphantly:

in

triumphantly:

professional attire

triumphantly:

and

triumphantly:

stumbled

triumphantly:

over

triumphantly:

his

triumphantly:

answers to

triumphantly:

even

triumphantly:

simple

triumphantly:

interview

triumphantly:

questions.
“Yeah

triumphantly:

bud,

triumphantly:

I’m

triumphantly:

going.

triumphantly:

I

triumphantly:

have

triumphantly:

a

triumphantly:

good

triumphantly:

feeling

triumphantly:

about

triumphantly:

this

triumphantly:

one.

triumphantly:

Plus,

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

guy

triumphantly:

on

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

phone

triumphantly:

said

triumphantly:

I

triumphantly:

could

triumphantly:

wear ‘comfortable

triumphantly:

clothes’

triumphantly:

to the

triumphantly:

interview!”
“You’re

triumphantly:

wearing

triumphantly:

a

triumphantly:

tie

triumphantly:

to

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

interview,

triumphantly:

Curt.”
“Why

triumphantly:

would

triumphantly:

he

triumphantly:

say

triumphantly:

to

triumphantly:

wear

triumphantly:

comfortable

triumphantly:

clothes

triumphantly:

if

triumphantly:

he

triumphantly:

wanted

triumphantly:

me

triumphantly:

to

triumphantly:

wear

triumphantly:

a

triumphantly:

tie?”
“HR

triumphantly:

people

triumphantly:

are

triumphantly:

assholes,

triumphantly:

that’s

triumphantly:

probably

triumphantly:

why.

triumphantly:

I

triumphantly:

don’t

triumphantly:

know!

triumphantly:

But

triumphantly:

you

triumphantly:

need

triumphantly:

to

triumphantly:

look

triumphantly:

your

triumphantly:

best.”
“I

triumphantly:

look

triumphantly:

my

triumphantly:

best

triumphantly:

right

triumphantly:

now,

triumphantly:

Bee!”
Shelby

triumphantly:

had

triumphantly:

to

triumphantly:

admit

triumphantly:

to

triumphantly:

himself

triumphantly:

that

triumphantly:

wearing

triumphantly:

nothing

triumphantly:

but

triumphantly:

boxers,

triumphantly:

standing

triumphantly:

in

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

kitchen,

triumphantly:

was

triumphantly:

a

triumphantly:

pretty

triumphantly:

good

triumphantly:

look

triumphantly:

for

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

big

triumphantly:

shaggy

triumphantly:

goofball.

triumphantly:

His

triumphantly:

chest

triumphantly:

and

triumphantly:

shoulders

triumphantly:

were

triumphantly:

impressive and

triumphantly:

just

triumphantly:

glancing

triumphantly:

at

triumphantly:

them made Shelby

triumphantly:

start

triumphantly:

purring all

triumphantly:

over

triumphantly:

again. “Oh,

triumphantly:

so

triumphantly:

you

triumphantly:

agree,

triumphantly:

I

triumphantly:

look

triumphantly:

good?”

triumphantly:

Curt

triumphantly:

teased,

triumphantly:

his

triumphantly:

keen

triumphantly:

ears

triumphantly:

having

triumphantly:

picked

triumphantly:

up

triumphantly:

on

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

renewed

triumphantly:

rumbling

triumphantly:

of

triumphantly:

his

triumphantly:

partner.

triumphantly:

He

triumphantly:

struck

triumphantly:

a

triumphantly:

bodybuilder

triumphantly:

pose,

triumphantly:

pointing

triumphantly:

one

triumphantly:

paw

triumphantly:

out

triumphantly:

toward

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

ceiling

triumphantly:

and

triumphantly:

flexing

triumphantly:

his

triumphantly:

other

triumphantly:

bicep

triumphantly:

impressively.
“You’re

triumphantly:

so

triumphantly:

hot,

triumphantly:

and

triumphantly:

I

triumphantly:

love

triumphantly:

you

triumphantly:

so

triumphantly:

much

triumphantly:

and

triumphantly:

you’re

triumphantly:

gonna

triumphantly:

get

triumphantly:

that

triumphantly:

job.

triumphantly:

And

triumphantly:

you’re

triumphantly:

gonna

triumphantly:

wear

triumphantly:

a

triumphantly:

goddamn

triumphantly:

tie

triumphantly:

to

triumphantly:

do

triumphantly:

it!”

triumphantly:

Shelby

triumphantly:

placed a

triumphantly:

small

triumphantly:

paw

triumphantly:

on

triumphantly:

his

triumphantly:

muscular

triumphantly:

boyfriend’s

triumphantly:

chest

triumphantly:

and

triumphantly:

got

triumphantly:

up

triumphantly:

on his

triumphantly:

toes

triumphantly:

to

triumphantly:

give Curt

triumphantly:

a

triumphantly:

quick

triumphantly:

peck

triumphantly:

on

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

cheek.

triumphantly:

Leaving

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

room

triumphantly:

to

triumphantly:

continue

triumphantly:

getting

triumphantly:

ready

triumphantly:

for

triumphantly:

work,

triumphantly:

Shelby

triumphantly:

thought

triumphantly:

to

triumphantly:

himself “God

triumphantly:

I

triumphantly:

hope

triumphantly:

he

triumphantly:

actually

triumphantly:

gets

triumphantly:

this

triumphantly:

one…”
“And

triumphantly:

quit

triumphantly:

calling

triumphantly:

me ‘Bee!’”
—
Shelby’s

triumphantly:

day

triumphantly:

was

triumphantly:

utterly

triumphantly:

typical.

triumphantly:

Which he

triumphantly:

liked,

triumphantly:

frankly.

triumphantly:

Read

triumphantly:

emails,

triumphantly:

type

triumphantly:

out

triumphantly:

responses,

triumphantly:

delete

triumphantly:

those

triumphantly:

responses

triumphantly:

before

triumphantly:

sending

triumphantly:

them,

triumphantly:

and re-type a

triumphantly:

less

triumphantly:

bitchy

triumphantly:

version

triumphantly:

of

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

response

triumphantly:

to

triumphantly:

avoid

triumphantly:

getting

triumphantly:

HR

triumphantly:

notes

triumphantly:

about “tone.”

triumphantly:

Attend

triumphantly:

meetings.

triumphantly:

Again,

triumphantly:

suppress

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

powerful

triumphantly:

bitchiness

triumphantly:

he

triumphantly:

possessed,

triumphantly:

opting to

triumphantly:

treat

triumphantly:

even

triumphantly:

his

triumphantly:

least

triumphantly:

useful

triumphantly:

peers

triumphantly:

with

triumphantly:

a

triumphantly:

veneer

triumphantly:

of

triumphantly:

respect.

triumphantly:

He was

triumphantly:

typing

triumphantly:

away at a ‘planning’

triumphantly:

email

triumphantly:

when

triumphantly:

his

triumphantly:

phone

triumphantly:

buzzed.

triumphantly:

His phone

triumphantly:

only

triumphantly:

buzzed when

triumphantly:

Curt

triumphantly:

texted

triumphantly:

him

triumphantly:

and

triumphantly:

he

triumphantly:

excitedly

triumphantly:

pulled

triumphantly:

out

triumphantly:

his

triumphantly:

phone

triumphantly:

to

triumphantly:

see

triumphantly:

what

triumphantly:

his

triumphantly:

boyfriend

triumphantly:

had

triumphantly:

sent

triumphantly:

him.

triumphantly:

He

triumphantly:

opened

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

message

triumphantly:

and

triumphantly:

slammed

triumphantly:

his

triumphantly:

phone

triumphantly:

face

triumphantly:

down

triumphantly:

on

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

desk

triumphantly:

immediately.

triumphantly:

How

triumphantly:

many

triumphantly:

times

triumphantly:

had

triumphantly:

he

triumphantly:

asked

triumphantly:

Curt

triumphantly:

not

triumphantly:

to

triumphantly:

send

triumphantly:

him

triumphantly:

nudes

triumphantly:

at

triumphantly:

work?

triumphantly:

Peering

triumphantly:

around

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

walls

triumphantly:

of

triumphantly:

his

triumphantly:

cubicle

triumphantly:

and

triumphantly:

seeing

triumphantly:

no

triumphantly:

prying

triumphantly:

eyes,

triumphantly:

he

triumphantly:

ducked

triumphantly:

back

triumphantly:

to

triumphantly:

his

triumphantly:

desk and

triumphantly:

flipped

triumphantly:

his

triumphantly:

phone

triumphantly:

over,

triumphantly:

hunched

triumphantly:

over

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

glowing

triumphantly:

screen.

triumphantly:

Curt

triumphantly:

was

triumphantly:

wearing

triumphantly:

his

triumphantly:

signature

triumphantly:

shit-eating

triumphantly:

smile,

triumphantly:

one

triumphantly:

of

triumphantly:

Shelby’s

triumphantly:

work

triumphantly:

shirts -

triumphantly:

buttons

triumphantly:

stretched

triumphantly:

to

triumphantly:

their

triumphantly:

limit

triumphantly:

to

triumphantly:

contain

triumphantly:

the

triumphantly:

dog’s

triumphantly:

thick

triumphantly:

chest -

triumphantly:

and

triumphantly:

a

triumphantly:

tie…

triumphantly:

and

triumphantly:

nothing

triumphantly:

else.

triumphantly:

His

triumphantly:

proud

triumphantly:

cock

triumphantly:

was

triumphantly:

on

triumphantly:

full

triumphantly:

display,

triumphantly:

long

triumphantly:

and

triumphantly:

hard. Along

triumphantly:

with the

triumphantly:

image,

triumphantly:

Curt

triumphantly:

included

triumphantly:

the

message:


“All ready

message:

for

message:

my

message:

interview!”
“Take

message:

that

message:

shirt

message:

off

message:

you’ll

message:

stretch

message:

it

message:

out,”

message:

typed Shelby furiously, though he couldn’t help but open

message:

the

message:

lewd

message:

photo

message:

back

message:

up

message:

after

message:

he hit ‘send’

message:

to

message:

take

message:

another

message:

look.

message:

The

message:

white

message:

tufts

message:

of

message:

fur

message:

poking

message:

through

message:

the

message:

gaps

message:

in

message:

the

message:

stretched fabric

message:

of

message:

the

message:

shirt

message:

were

message:

such

message:

a

message:

good

message:

look.

message:

Shelby

message:

found

message:

himself

message:

daydreaming

message:

about

message:

what

message:

he

message:

might

message:

do

message:

when

message:

he

message:

got

message:

back

message:

home

message:

to

message:

his

message:

big,

message:

sexy….
“Your

message:

boyfriend

message:

send

message:

you

message:

something

message:

fun,

message:

Shelby?”

message:

asked

message:

a

message:

husky

message:

voice

message:

behind

message:

him.
Slamming

message:

the

message:

phone

message:

back

message:

down

message:

on

message:

his

message:

desk,

message:

Shelby

message:

turned

message:

around

message:

to

message:

find

message:

himself

message:

face

message:

to

message:

face

message:

with

message:

Mallory,

message:

the HR maven and his best

message:

friend

message:

at

message:

the

message:

office. A

message:

tall,

message:

broad-shouldered

message:

marten,

message:

she

message:

was

message:

certainly

message:

good

message:

at

message:

sneaking

message:

up

message:

on

message:

people

message:

for

message:

a

message:

woman

message:

her

message:

size.
“Uhh,

message:

salmon

message:

recipe,”

message:

came

message:

the

message:

cat’s

message:

unconvincing

message:

reply.
“Oh

message:

I’m

message:

sure.

message:

Give

message:

it

message:

here,

message:

you

message:

know

message:

the

message:

rules.”

message:

Mallory

message:

was

message:

perhaps

message:

not

message:

the

message:

most

message:

conscientious

message:

HR

message:

worker,

message:

but

message:

she

message:

had

message:

a

message:

soft

message:

spot

message:

for

message:

Shelby

message:

and

message:

would

message:

overlook

message:

his

message:

harmless

message:

indiscretions…

message:

as

message:

long

message:

as

message:

she

message:

got

message:

to

message:

peek.

message:

Defeated,

message:

Shelby handed her his phone.
“He’s

message:

going

message:

to

message:

stretch

message:

that

message:

shirt

message:

out”
“That’s

message:

what

message:

I

message:

said!”

message:

Shelby

message:

hissed “now

message:

give

message:

it,” he

message:

reached

message:

out

message:

a

message:

paw

message:

to

message:

retrieve

message:

his

message:

phone

message:

but before

message:

the

message:

marten

message:

released

message:

it

message:

to

message:

him,

message:

the

message:

phone

message:

buzzed

message:

again

message:

in

message:

her

message:

hand.

message:

She

message:

opened

message:

the

message:

new

message:

message

message:

and

message:

lifted

message:

an

message:

eyebrow

message:

playfully.
“Oh

message:

you’ll

message:

enjoy

message:

this

message:

one,

message:

Shelby,”

message:

she

message:

said,

message:

smugly.

message:

Handing

message:

it

message:

back,

message:

the

message:

embarrassed

message:

cat

message:

saw

message:

his

message:

boyfriend

message:

on

message:

the

message:

screen,

message:

now

message:

wearing

message:

just

message:

the

message:

tie,

message:

his

message:

hard

message:

cock

message:

held

message:

in

message:

one

message:

large

message:

paw

message:

while

message:

the

message:

other

message:

paw

message:

tugged

message:

on

message:

the

message:

tie

message:

seductively.
“Oh so

message:

you

message:

want

message:

me

message:

to

message:

strip?”

message:

was

message:

the

message:

text

message:

under

message:

the

message:

photo.

message:

How

message:

clever.
“What

message:

does

message:

a

message:

little

message:

fella

message:

like

message:

you

message:

do

message:

with

message:

all

message:

that…

message:

man?”

message:

Mallory

message:

teased.
“A

message:

little

message:

fella

message:

like

message:

me

message:

does

message:

just

message:

fine,

message:

thank

message:

you

message:

very

message:

much!”

message:

Shelby

message:

attempted

message:

to

message:

remain

message:

annoyed but

message:

was

message:

too

message:

proud

message:

to

message:

pull

message:

it

message:

off.

message:

He

message:

loved

message:

showing

message:

off

message:

his

message:

hunk of a

message:

boyfriend,

message:

and

message:

Mallory’s

message:

praise

message:

for

message:

Curt’s

message:

physique

message:

stroked

message:

Shelby’s

message:

ego

message:

nicely.
“What

message:

are

message:

you

message:

doing after

message:

work,

message:

Mal?

message:

If

message:

Curt

message:

gets

message:

that

message:

job

message:

I’m

message:

sure

message:

we’ll

message:

go

message:

out

message:

somewhere,

message:

we’d

message:

love

message:

to

message:

have

message:

you

message:

join

message:

us.”
“Can’t.

message:

Got

message:

a

message:

date.

message:

Some

message:

schlub

message:

from

message:

RJ’s

message:

work.”
“Oh

message:

god.

message:

Your

message:

brother

message:

has

message:

the

message:

worst

message:

taste

message:

in

message:

men.

message:

Present

message:

company

message:

notwithstanding.”

message:

RJ

message:

had

message:

dated

message:

Shelby

message:

briefly,

message:

but

message:

couldn’t

message:

stand

message:

Shelby’s

message:

fussiness.

message:

Or

message:

Shelby

message:

couldn’t

message:

stand

message:

RJ’s

message:

messiness,

message:

depending

message:

on

message:

who

message:

you

message:

asked.
“Half

message:

brother,”

message:

she

message:

corrected. “And

message:

this

message:

one

message:

is

message:

at

message:

least

message:

cute.

message:

Look.”

message:

she

message:

showed

message:

him

message:

a

message:

texted

message:

photo

message:

from

message:

RJ. A cute

message:

little

message:

wisp

message:

of

message:

a

message:

stoat, barely looked old

message:

enough to buy a drink.
“What’s

message:

a little

message:

fella

message:

like

message:

that

message:

gonna

message:

do

message:

with

message:

all that

message:

woman?” Shelby joked
“He’s gonna do what I

message:

tell

message:

him

message:

to

message:

do.”

message:

replied

message:

Mallory,

message:

lifting

message:

her

message:

eyebrows

message:

again

message:

saucily.
“Nice.

message:

Have

message:

fun!”
“Thanks.

message:

Good

message:

luck

message:

with

message:

the

message:

job

message:

search

message:

for

message:

Curt.”

message:

The

message:

two

message:

shared

message:

a

message:

quick

message:

fist

message:

bump;

message:

Shelby

message:

turned

message:

back

message:

to

message:

his

message:

computer

message:

while

message:

Mallory

message:

slunk

message:

away,

message:

on

message:

the

message:

hunt

message:

for

message:

more

message:

HR ‘violations.’
—
It

message:

was

message:

late

message:

afternoon

message:

and

message:

Shelby had

message:

started

message:

to

message:

get

message:

worried

message:

about

message:

Curt;

message:

he

message:

hadn’t

message:

texted

message:

since

message:

his

message:

little

message:

strip

message:

show,

message:

and

message:

his

message:

interview

message:

was

message:

over

message:

an

message:

hour

message:

ago.
“I

message:

guess

message:

he

message:

didn’t

message:

get

message:

it,”

message:

he

message:

thought

message:

to

message:

himself. “God

message:

dammit.”

message:

The

message:

pessimistic

message:

kitty

message:

didn’t

message:

have

message:

long

message:

to

message:

sulk,

message:

as

message:

he

message:

heard

message:

the

message:

dreaded “Teams”

message:

notification

message:

noise from

message:

his

message:

work

message:

phone.

message:

It

message:

would

message:

be

message:

Becca,

message:

the

message:

receptionist.

message:

She

message:

was

message:

the

message:

only

message:

one

message:

who

message:

used “Teams.”

message:

Ever.
The

message:

message

read:

read:

Shelby

read:

there

read:

is

read:

a

read:

man

read:

here

read:

for

read:

you.

read:

I

read:

think

read:

he

read:

is

read:

a

read:

stripper?
“GOD

read:

DAMN

read:

IT”

read:

the

read:

cat

read:

screeched,

read:

quite

read:

a

read:

bit

read:

too

read:

loudly

read:

to

read:

be

read:

professional;

read:

several

read:

nearby

read:

heads

read:

poked

read:

over

read:

their

read:

cubicle

read:

sides,

read:

but

read:

everybody

read:

on

read:

their

read:

floor

read:

knew to

read:

just

read:

let

read:

Shelby

read:

tire

read:

himself

read:

out

read:

when

read:

he

read:

got

read:

over-excited.

read:

No

read:

good

read:

could

read:

come

read:

from

read:

interference

read:

or -

read:

god

read:

forbid -

read:

attempts

read:

to

read:

calm

read:

him

read:

down.

read:

This

read:

was

read:

not

read:

the

read:

first

read:

time

read:

that

read:

Mallory

read:

had

read:

hired

read:

an “exotic

read:

messenger

read:

service”

read:

to

read:

make

read:

a “special

read:

delivery”

read:

to

read:

Shelby’s

read:

desk

read:

as

read:

a

read:

prank. The

read:

last

read:

time it

read:

had

read:

been

read:

a

read:

beefy

read:

young

read:

tiger

read:

wearing

read:

a

read:

cowboy

read:

outfit. It

read:

was

read:

so

read:

embarrassing

read:

that

read:

Shelby

read:

had

read:

to

read:

take

read:

sick

read:

days

read:

over

read:

it “she

read:

fucking

read:

promised

read:

never

read:

again”

read:

seethed

read:

Shelby,

read:

as

read:

he

read:

marched

read:

toward

read:

the

read:

elevator.

read:

The

read:

only

read:

thought

read:

he

read:

could

read:

muster

read:

was

read:

to

read:

give

read:

the

read:

poor

read:

kid

read:

a

read:

tip

read:

and

read:

send

read:

him

read:

packing

read:

before

read:

anybody

read:

noticed.

read:

Just

read:

as

read:

Shelby

read:

made

read:

his

read:

way

read:

up

read:

to

read:

the

read:

shiny

read:

elevator

read:

doors,

read:

they

read:

slid

read:

open,

read:

revealing…
“Curt!?”

read:

the

read:

shocked

read:

cat

read:

meowed.
Shelby realized at once why Becca

read:

had

read:

thought

read:

Curt

read:

was

read:

a

read:

stripper -

read:

the

read:

shirt

read:

he

read:

was

read:

wearing,

read:

while

read:

better

read:

suited

read:

for

read:

the

read:

dog’s

read:

robust

read:

frame

read:

than

read:

one

read:

of

read:

Shelby’s,

read:

was

read:

at

read:

least

read:

a

read:

size

read:

too

read:

small.

read:

His

read:

broad,

read:

powerful

read:

shoulders

read:

threatened

read:

to

read:

destroy

read:

the

read:

thin

read:

fabric

read:

with

read:

his

read:

every

read:

movement.

read:

His

read:

chest

read:

looked

read:

even

read:

larger

read:

than

read:

normal as

read:

a

read:

backdrop

read:

for

read:

a

read:

laughably

read:

short

read:

tie.

read:

Shelby

read:

could

read:

see

read:

what

read:

had

read:

happened -

read:

the

read:

clumsy

read:

dog

read:

had

read:

tied

read:

the

read:

knot

read:

so

read:

poorly

read:

that

read:

it

read:

used

read:

up

read:

half

read:

the

read:

tie’s

read:

length.

read:

The

read:

overall

read:

effect

read:

was

read:

stunning.

read:

Curt

read:

couldn’t

read:

dress

read:

for

read:

shit,

read:

but

read:

he

read:

sure

read:

knew

read:

how

read:

to

read:

wear

read:

it.
“Hey

read:

beautiful!”

read:

replied

read:

Curt enthusiastically.

read:

He took

read:

one long

read:

stride out

read:

of

read:

the

read:

elevator

read:

and

read:

grabbed

read:

his

read:

dumbfounded

read:

boyfriend

read:

in

read:

a

read:

monstrous

read:

bear

read:

hug,

read:

lifting

read:

him

read:

completely

read:

off

read:

his

read:

feet.

read:

He

read:

gently

read:

set

read:

the

read:

poor

read:

cat

read:

back

read:

on

read:

solid

read:

ground

read:

and

read:

held

read:

him

read:

by

read:

the

read:

shoulders

read:

at

read:

arm’s

read:

length. “You’re

read:

looking

read:

at

read:

the

read:

new

read:

parts

read:

foreman

read:

for

read:

PAAWCO Northeast!”
“You

read:

got

read:

the

read:

job?”
“I

read:

got

read:

the

read:

job!”
“Holy

read:

shit!”
“Holy

read:

shit,

read:

dude!”

read:

Curt

read:

loved

read:

when

read:

Shelby

read:

matched

read:

his

read:

energy

read:

and he

read:

couldn’t

read:

help

read:

but

read:

grab

read:

his

read:

boyfriend’s

read:

face

read:

and

read:

bring

read:

him

read:

in

read:

for

read:

a long kiss.

read:

Shelby didn’t

read:

complain,

read:

though

read:

he

read:

was

read:

not

read:

normally

read:

one

read:

for

read:

PDA. “Come on, Bee,

read:

let’s

read:

celebrate! Let’s

read:

go

read:

somewhere!”
“Oh man, Curt,

read:

I really can’t, I got a call at 4 that

read:

I

read:

can’t

read:

skip…”
“No.

read:

I

read:

mean,

read:

let’s

read:

go

read:

somewhere,”

read:

Curt

read:

repeated.

read:

Shelby

read:

knew

read:

that

read:

look.

read:

He

read:

wasn’t

read:

talking

read:

about

read:

going

read:

out for celebratory drinks.
“Oh jeez bud I don’t know…” Shelby

read:

instinctively dropped

read:

his

read:

voice

read:

to

read:

a whisper
“Come on dude, it’s

read:

like three

read:

thirty,

read:

plenty

read:

of

read:

time

read:

to

read:

get

read:

to

read:

your

read:

meeting

read:

after

read:

I’m

read:

done

read:

with

read:

you.”
Shelby’s

read:

heart

read:

started

read:

pounding

read:

in

read:

his

read:

ears.

read:

He

read:

could

read:

feel

read:

that

read:

he

read:

was

read:

purring

read:

again.

read:

Was

read:

he

read:

really

read:

about

read:

to

read:

do

read:

this?

read:

At

read:

work?

read:

He

read:

wanted

read:

it

read:

more

read:

than

read:

he

read:

was

read:

willing

read:

to

read:

admit,

read:

and

read:

in

read:

that

read:

moment

read:

he

read:

made

read:

up

read:

his

read:

mind.
“Fuck.

read:

Alright,

read:

let’s

read:

find

read:

a

read:

conference

read:

room.

read:

Nobody

read:

uses

read:

them

read:

anymore”
Ducking

read:

into

read:

conference

read:

room

read:

two,

read:

Shelby

read:

made

read:

a

read:

quick

read:

scan

read:

to

read:

see

read:

if

read:

anyone

read:

caught

read:

them entering -

read:

nobody

read:

seemed

read:

to

read:

notice

read:

or

read:

care

read:

what

read:

they

read:

were

read:

doing.

read:

Satisfied,

read:

he

read:

shut

read:

the

read:

door

read:

behind

read:

him

read:

and

read:

turned

read:

toward

read:

Curt -

read:

who

read:

had

read:

already

read:

begun

read:

unbuckling

read:

his

read:

pants.
“On

read:

your

read:

knees,

read:

cat”
God

read:

he

read:

was

read:

hot

read:

when

read:

he

read:

played

read:

dominant!

read:

Shelby

read:

couldn’t

read:

think

read:

of

read:

a

read:

reason

read:

to

read:

argue

read:

with

read:

his

read:

boyfriend

read:

and

read:

slid

read:

underneath

read:

the

read:

dog,

read:

eyes

read:

turned

read:

up

read:

to

read:

watch

read:

him

read:

pull

read:

his

read:

boxers

read:

down

read:

to

read:

his

read:

knees.

read:

His

read:

fat,

read:

pink

read:

cock

read:

was

read:

already

read:

erect.

read:

Shelby

read:

tenderly

read:

gripped it

read:

by

read:

the

read:

base, his

read:

small

read:

paws

read:

barely

read:

able

read:

to

read:

hold

read:

it

read:

comfortably.

read:

He

read:

held

read:

it

read:

up,

read:

against

read:

Curt’s

read:

abdomen,

read:

so

read:

he

read:

could

read:

run

read:

his

read:

rough

read:

little

read:

tongue

read:

all

read:

the

read:

way

read:

up

read:

its

read:

length.

read:

Curt

read:

shivered

read:

with

read:

appreciation.

read:

Shelby’s

read:

eager

read:

mouth

read:

reaching

read:

the

read:

tip

read:

of

read:

Curt’s

read:

hard

read:

cock,

read:

he

read:

teased

read:

it,

read:

just

read:

barely

read:

taking

read:

it

read:

into

read:

his

read:

maw,

read:

letting

read:

his

read:

whiskers

read:

brush

read:

Curt’s

read:

powerful

read:

thighs.

read:

The

read:

dog

read:

leaned

read:

against

read:

the

read:

conference

read:

table

read:

and

read:

just

read:

watched

read:

his

read:

hungry

read:

boyfriend

read:

work.

read:

Shelby

read:

was

read:

a

read:

bit

read:

of

read:

an

read:

artist

read:

at

read:

this -

read:

he’d

read:

tell

read:

you

read:

so

read:

himself

read:

after

read:

a

read:

couple

read:

drinks -

read:

and

read:

Curt

read:

loved

read:

to

read:

be

read:

his

read:

canvas.
Settling

read:

back

read:

on

read:

his

read:

hind

read:

paws,

read:

Shelby brought

read:

Curt’s

read:

cock down

read:

and

read:

let

read:

it

read:

hang

read:

naturally.

read:

He

read:

took

read:

a

read:

moment

read:

to

read:

simply

read:

look

read:

at

read:

it

read:

lovingly,

read:

letting

read:

the

read:

anticipation

read:

build

read:

in

read:

his

read:

eager

read:

boyfriend.

read:

He

read:

took

read:

Curt’s

read:

hefty

read:

balls

read:

in

read:

one

read:

paw

read:

and

read:

rested

read:

the

read:

other

read:

one

read:

on

read:

Curt’s

read:

leg. He

read:

gently

read:

began

read:

kissing

read:

the

read:

cock,

read:

from

read:

tip

read:

to

read:

base,

read:

letting

read:

it

read:

sway

read:

naturally.

read:

The

read:

fur

read:

of

read:

his

read:

muzzle

read:

caressing

read:

the

read:

sensitive

read:

organ,

read:

his

read:

big

read:

brown

read:

eyes

read:

were

read:

locked

read:

on

read:

Curt’s.

read:

As

read:

much

read:

as

read:

Curt

read:

loved

read:

to

read:

watch

read:

Shelby’s “art,”

read:

Shelby

read:

loved

read:

to

read:

see

read:

the

read:

ecstasy

read:

play

read:

across

read:

his

read:

lover’s

read:

face.
“Gosh,

read:

you

read:

don’t

read:

think

read:

I

read:

can

read:

take

read:

this

read:

whole

read:

thing,

read:

do

read:

you?”

read:

Shelby mewled

read:

pitifully
“You’d

read:

fucking

read:

better,

read:

little

read:

man,”

read:

replied

read:

the

read:

dog

read:

in

read:

his

read:

best

read:

tough

read:

guy voice
Shelby batted

read:

his eyes

read:

and

read:

without

read:

blinking,

read:

did

read:

in

read:

fact

read:

take

read:

the

read:

whole

read:

thing.

read:

He

read:

did it

read:

as

read:

slowly as he

read:

could

read:

manage,

read:

never

read:

gagging

read:

or

read:

seeming

read:

to

read:

struggle.

read:

A

read:

nearly

read:

impossible

read:

length

read:

of

read:

cock

read:

filled

read:

his

read:

mouth

read:

and

read:

throat.

read:

He

read:

paused

read:

there

read:

at

read:

the

read:

base

read:

of

read:

Curt’s

read:

cock,

read:

past

read:

the

read:

knot, to

read:

give

read:

himself

read:

a

read:

little

read:

treat -

read:

a

read:

deep

read:

inhale

read:

of

read:

Curt’s

read:

musk

read:

made

read:

the

read:

cat

read:

go

read:

wild.

read:

He

read:

retreated

read:

his

read:

flexible

read:

maw,

read:

letting

read:

the

read:

cold

read:

air

read:

hit

read:

the

read:

now-wet

read:

cock’s

read:

shaft.

read:

He

read:

repeated

read:

this

read:

motion,

read:

still

read:

slowly,

read:

tongue

read:

flirting

read:

with

read:

the

read:

shaft

read:

the

read:

whole

read:

way

read:

down,

read:

until

read:

he

read:

was

read:

nose-to-pelvis

read:

with

read:

the

read:

massive

read:

hunk

read:

of

read:

a

read:

dog

read:

once

read:

again.
And

read:

again.

read:

And

read:

again.

read:

He

read:

gradually

read:

increased

read:

his

read:

pace,

read:

working

read:

his

read:

saliva

read:

and

read:

precum

read:

into

read:

a

read:

fine

read:

froth

read:

along

read:

Curt’s

read:

rigid

read:

shaft.

read:

He

read:

never

read:

took

read:

his

read:

paw

read:

off

read:

Curt’s

read:

balls,

read:

and he

read:

was

read:

careful

read:

not

read:

to

read:

get

read:

too

read:

firm

read:

with

read:

them,

read:

even

read:

as

read:

his

read:

excitement

read:

grew.
“I’m

read:

getting

read:

close,

read:

Shelby”
“Mmf”
“I’m

read:

gonna

read:

fill

read:

you

read:

up,

read:

you

read:

little

read:

slut!”

read:

Shelby

read:

loved

read:

it.

read:

He

read:

kept

read:

his

read:

pace

read:

up,

read:

letting

read:

the

read:

dog’s

read:

load

read:

rise

read:

in

read:

his

read:

fat

read:

nuts,

read:

ready

read:

to

read:

burst.
“I’m

read:

cumming!”

read:

Curt

read:

moaned
Shelby

read:

stopped

read:

working

read:

the

read:

cock

read:

just

read:

long

read:

enough

read:

to

read:

give

read:

Curt

read:

a

read:

playful

read:

wink

read:

as

read:

jet

read:

after

read:

jet

read:

of

read:

hot

read:

sticky

read:

cum

read:

exploded

read:

down

read:

his

read:

throat.

read:

He

read:

took

read:

it

read:

all,

read:

only

read:

letting

read:

a

read:

tiny

read:

strand to

read:

escape

read:

his

read:

maw,

read:

dripping

read:

down from

read:

his

read:

chin.

read:

The cum

read:

strand

read:

began

read:

to

read:

sink

read:

slowly

read:

to

read:

the

read:

floor but the

read:

cat

read:

caught it

read:

with

read:

his

read:

paw,

read:

lifted it

read:

high

read:

in

read:

the

read:

air, and

read:

let

read:

it

read:

drop

read:

slowly

read:

onto

read:

his

read:

tongue.

read:

Shelby

read:

gulped,

read:

swallowing

read:

the

read:

dog’s

read:

load,

read:

and

read:

grinned

read:

up

read:

at

read:

his

read:

loving

read:

boyfriend.
“Jesus,

read:

you’re

read:

good

read:

at

read:

that,

read:

Bee”
“I know.

read:

And

read:

don’t

read:

call

read:

me ‘Bee’”
Exiting

read:

the

read:

conference

read:

room,

read:

Shelby

read:

did

read:

the

read:

same

read:

quick

read:

scan -

read:

no

read:

one

read:

around

read:

as

read:

far

read:

as

read:

he

read:

could

read:

tell.

read:

Good.

read:

He

read:

straightened

read:

his

read:

tie,

read:

and

read:

peeked

read:

over

read:

his

read:

shoulder

read:

to

read:

catch

read:

Curt

read:

hastily

read:

buckling

read:

his

read:

belt.

read:

He

read:

slunk

read:

out

read:

of

read:

the

read:

room

read:

and

read:

paused

read:

to

read:

let

read:

Curt

read:

catch

read:

up.

read:

He

read:

held

read:

out

read:

his

read:

paw

read:

expectantly

read:

and

read:

his

read:

dutiful

read:

boyfriend

read:

filled

read:

it

read:

with

read:

his

read:

own

read:

paw.

read:

Shelby

read:

walked

read:

Curt

read:

back

read:

to the

read:

elevator

read:

in

read:

silence;

read:

both

read:

were feeling

read:

too

read:

giddy

read:

and

read:

silly

read:

to

read:

make

read:

conversation.

read:

When

read:

the

read:

elevator

read:

doors

read:

slid

read:

open,

read:

Shelby

read:

spoke

up:


“I’m

up:

really

up:

proud

up:

of you,

up:

Curt.”
“Thanks

up:

babe!

up:

And uh…

up:

thanks

up:

babe.”

up:

he

up:

said

up:

with

up:

emphasis

up:

and

up:

a

up:

wink.

up:

Shelby’s

up:

face

up:

got

up:

hot

up:

as

up:

the

up:

full

up:

embarrassment

up:

of

up:

their

up:

little

up:

adventure

up:

hit

up:

him.

up:

Without

up:

another

up:

word,

up:

he

up:

gave

up:

Curt

up:

a

up:

quick

up:

kiss

up:

and

up:

ushered

up:

him

up:

into

up:

the

up:

elevator.
Returning

up:

to

up:

his

up:

desk,

up:

he

up:

pulled

up:

out

up:

his

up:

little

up:

pocket

up:

mirror

up:

to

up:

fix

up:

his

up:

hair.

up:

He

up:

checked

up:

his

up:

phone -

up:

a

up:

text

up:

from

Mallory:


“Tell

Mallory:

Curt

Mallory:

congrats

Mallory:

on

Mallory:

the

Mallory:

employment,

Mallory:

and

Mallory:

on

Mallory:

the

Mallory:

blowjob,”

Mallory:

followed

Mallory:

by

Mallory:

the

Mallory:

bee

Mallory:

emoji.



This

Mallory:

was “Don’t

Mallory:

Call

Mallory:

Me

Mallory:

Bee”

Mallory:

by

Mallory:

Norm,

Mallory:

The

Mallory:

Inadequate

Mallory:

Cat,

Mallory:

read

Mallory:

for you

Mallory:

by

Mallory:

Rob MacWolf,

Mallory:

Werewolf

Mallory:

Hitchhiker.

Mallory:

You

Mallory:

can

Mallory:

find

Mallory:

more

Mallory:

stories

Mallory:

on

Mallory:

the

Mallory:

web

Mallory:

at thevoice.dog,

Mallory:

or

Mallory:

find

Mallory:

the

Mallory:

show

Mallory:

wherever

Mallory:

you

Mallory:

get

Mallory:

your

Mallory:

podcasts.

Mallory:

Thank

Mallory:

you

Mallory:

for

Mallory:

listening

Mallory:

to

Mallory:

The

Mallory:

Voice

Mallory:

of Dog.

Submissions to The Voice of

Dog should:


be less than ~5000 words per episode (thus less than ~10,000 words total for a two-part submission.)
be about, by, relevant to, and/or containing furry or anthropomorphic people, issues, etc.
not advocate or praise hateful or bigoted views, groups, or ideologies
not be “A Bummer,” ie, while dark, sad, or grim stories are welcomed, they should contain elements of hope, should “end looking up” so to speak. Specific application of this guideline is up to the interpretation of the Voice of Dog,

Dog should:

and is open for discussion with an interested author regarding a specific work.

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About the Podcast

Show artwork for The Voice of Dog
The Voice of Dog
Furry stories to warm the ol' cockles, read by Rob MacWolf and guests. If you have a story that would suit the show, you can get in touch with @VoiceOfDog@meow.social on Mastodon, @voiceofdog.bsky.social on Blue Sky, or @Theodwulf on Telegram.

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