“Robin Hood and Her Valkyrie” by Tempo

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You’re listening to The Voice of Dog. I’m Khaki,

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your faithful fireside companion,

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and Today’s story is

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“Robin Hood and Her Valkyrie”

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by Tempe O'Kun, who is the staff writer at the Culturally F'd furry

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cultural analysis YouTube channel,

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and author of books including Windfall

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by FurPlanet Press and you can find more of his stories on his FurAffinity page.

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Robin Hood

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and Her Valkyrie

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by Tempo ~ ~ ~ Robin Hood sat on a bough, tending twigs that would one day be her arrows.

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Though human, she looked out with a fox's eyes,

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upon the factory smoke blotting the skyline.

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Every year, industry devoured more of the sacred groves.

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The woodland spirits grew thorny,

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but would never speak of the grudges they nursed.

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Robin remained, in their view,

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a human and therefore not to be trusted.

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She missed even the strange conversations one had with the fae.

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She found the branch she'd been tending for years.

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Carefully braced,

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it had grown straight

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and true. Drawing her knife,

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she sliced it free

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and began stripping it.

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Leaves and shoots

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tumbled a dozen yards to the forest floor.

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Birds chirped. Breeze danced by.

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Soon, she had whittled a

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quite serviceable length of wood.

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With centuries of practice,

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her hands dipped into a pouch at her belt

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and fitted fletching and an arrowhead.

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Steel, at least, had become easier to find in quality.

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With the last cord knotted tight,

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she admired her work.

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A sense of accomplishment,

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however fleeting,

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came with handiwork.

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She savored the feeling.

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A scuff of bark behind her.

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A voice rang out:

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"On a branch perches my Robin, gathering sticks for her nest."

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The archer flinched,

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legs tensing around the bough.

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She cast a look back,

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but without shock.

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The wings of a valkyrie flew silent.

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"Hello, Marian." Robin allowed her eyes to become those of a human again.

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The difference between red and green returned to the world.

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Down the branch, a war-angel's orange pelt gleamed in the sun.

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Mischief shone on her slender muzzle.

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Whiskers danced in the wind.

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Soot-black ears swiveled against the steel wings of her helmet.

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A shield, shaped to set between her wings,

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shone on her back.

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Her tail shifted with absolute ease to balance her atop the tree limb,

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poking out from an evening-purple,

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seamless dress. Her body moved with a princess's grace,

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though her smile was entirely vulpine.

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The archer shook her head with a faint smile.

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Clutching onto nearby branches,

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she turned to face her lover.

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"Shouldn't you be gathering souls?"

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"My thoughts forever echo your name.

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A delicate creature such as I must see her lover's face,

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lest I waste away to a wisp of longing.

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longing." Twirling on one foot,

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she placed a demure paw on her lips.

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"The heroic dead can be shepherded without me.

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I am but the least

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and humblest of the valkyrie."

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Robin sniffed a laugh.

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Yes, the world held valkyries stronger and heartier than Marian.

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None smiled with such cunning,

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nor looked upon her with love.

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But even the least of valkyries was still nothing to trifle with.

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A human imbued with magic proved tempting prey to all sorts of monsters.

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All sorts of monsters had found Marian quite the jealous lover.

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Now, though, as progress swallowed the woodlands, such adventures came rarely.

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The human's mirth faded with a sigh.

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"Why such a sad song, dear Robin?

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Are you ill-treated by life?

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Do you wish a wolf-valkyrie had taken you for a lover instead?"

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Her lips spread in an exaggerated snarl,

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revealing little white fox fangs.

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"A nobler, rougher being who doesn't speak riddles?"

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Robin smiled a little at the conversation they'd had a thousand times.

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"I'm no wolf. I hunt with tricks."

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"A raven of Odin then?"

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Her massive wings flapped wide,

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her paws set like talons,

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even with their blunt claws.

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"Wings of night and a beak of onyx and a clutch of secrets?"

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She shook her head,

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rusty ponytail falling over her shoulder.

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"I'm no raven. Death doesn't sustain me."

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"Then why do you despair?"

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The valkyrie leaned in,

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wings spread for balance,

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and touched her beloved's cheek.

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Robin rolled her eyes.

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"I'm nothing but a name now.

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They don't even remember I'm a woman.

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Or a commoner." A vain habit, certainly,

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but she couldn't resist the call of tales and plays that bore her name.

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"They remember only what serves their ends.

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Everything else is scraped from the parchment and written over."

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"Most are forgotten whole.

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whole." Marian chuckled with the certainty of death.

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"A hundred years after they die,

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none remember who they were."

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Eyes downcast, Robin toyed with the arrow in her hands.

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"I sometimes wonder who I am."

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Her whiskers twitched as she smiled.

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"You are a fire that cannot be quenched.

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Outlaw. Archer. Yeoman hero.

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Bane of tyrants. My lover."

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"I suppose that last one is pretty good.

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good." She flicked the new arrow out for examination.

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"It is." She took the arrow and peered down the arrow's length.

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"You are of true renown.

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Never does your name not ring on the wind somewhere,

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be it the hope of the peasant oppressed

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or the curse of the king gone wicked.

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Few are so named."

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The archer kicked her legs into empty air.

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"What good's a name, when a name's all that's left of you?"

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"A valkyrie knows the power in names.

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names." Marian breathed a whisper to the arrow.

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Runes smoldered into its surface:

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Járn-Rjúfa, Iron-Breacher.

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An odd name for an arrow.

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Usually, she granted them simple names

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like Biter or Piecer.

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Nodding at her contribution, she handed the arrow back.

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"The named can be known.

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The nameless barely exist."

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"People would be hard-pressed to know I existed.

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existed." The archer took it with care.

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A weapon blessed by a spirit of valor had to be treated with care,

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especially when the spirit was one's wife.

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She looked back toward the smoke of industry in the distance.

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"Whatever I build, the fires of greed tear down."

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"My love, my love. I forget how human you remain, even now.

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now." She rested her paw on the pommel of what had once been a farmer's hunting knife.

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Marrying a valkyrie meant giving her an ancestral sword,

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even if that sword was a farm tool.

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Meticulously recast and restored by the dwarves,

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it hung in an intricately-stamped scabbard at her hip.

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Robin wondered what her father,

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all these years dead, would think of his most useful knife

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being the most treasured possession of an angel.

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"The world wears down.

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The world breaks.

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That isn't cause for inaction.

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We are part of the world too.

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We repair it. We improve it.

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All is born anew through our labors."

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"A noble ideal, my dear." She cast the valkyrie a tired look.

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"But I've lived a long time."

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"And I longer." Eternity rang in her tone.

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"I've seen my own work ruined.

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ruined." Robin shrugged and pulled down her hat against the breeze.

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"It's disheartening."

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"A leaking boat does not prove sailing impossible.

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impossible." A noblewoman's gentle laugh echoed from that toothy muzzle.

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"We fix the boat. We build a better boat.

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But we do not abandon the sea.

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sea." "Where do I start?"

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Legs still wrapped around the bough,

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she brushed the scraps of cord and feather off into the void.

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"I can't free the peasants with arrows.

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I could turn every fat factory owner into a pin-cushion and the world wouldn't change." "Hmm,

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yes. Where do you start?"

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The valkyrie dipped to all fours

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and propelled to her with a gleaming grin.

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That tail bushed

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and bounced above her wings.

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"How fortunate you should ask, my darling…"

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Robin locked eyes with her as that cold black nose touched hers.

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Such enthusiasm from a supernatural creature was never a good sign.

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"I regret it already."

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Amused thunder rumbled in her voice.

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"And yet you do not cower.

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Hence why you are mine till Ragnarök and after.

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after." She kissed the human's cheek.

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Slight warmth lingered on her cheek,

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but she knew better than to let the vixen ply her with honeyed words.

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"What are we talking about?"

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"Something new has arisen.

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In the city." Marian smoothed her dress and sat cross-legged on the branch.

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"They call it the Spring-Heeled Jack."

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"Marian, my darling,

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whom I love more than life, please:

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tell me that's some newfangled lifting device."

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The fox-maiden laughed,

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then leaned forward with interest,

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her front paws planted before crossed legs.

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"A much worthier foe, dear Robin.

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Staying in this kindly wood will not sharpen your etching in anyone's mind.

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Kill this beast and the skalds will spin new songs about you,

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ones to last for ages.

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Robin Hood, bow-maiden.

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Robin Hood, hunter of evils.

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Robin Hood, and the lovely Maid Marian."

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"Robin Hood, who got killed.

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killed." She waved the notch of the arrow at her.

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"Again." "I will sew you back together, like a dutiful housewife.

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housewife." Marian leaned in

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and rubbed her slim muzzle against her cheek.

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Recollections stirred in Robin's mind of being mended by a beautiful fox-tailor.

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Something to avoid.

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"What is this creature?"

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Marian traced a midnight paw along the archer's knee.

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"The Spring-Heeled Jack is a

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demon. The first new kind of demon to appear in thousands of years.

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Flesh of armor and claws of metal.

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Its mouth a roaring furnace that melts anything to slag.

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It stalks the night

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and leaps buildings to slay the poor and vulnerable.

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The humans bar their doors and hide from the night."

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With a groan, Robin closed her eyes.

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"Why do I feel like this whole conversation wasn't a coincidence?"

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"My kind do not deal in whims and coincidences.

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coincidences." The vixen brushed a loose lock of rusty hair from her lover's face.

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"I stole you from death

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not only out of love.

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I did so because you better the world."

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The human smiled.

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She twirled the arrow in her fingers.

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Centuries of practice

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told her just how it would drift in flight.

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"At least someone remembers me for who I am.

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Even if she flatters me."

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"Flattery from fondness, dear Robin.

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Robin." She took the archer's hand

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and lilted the words like a love song.

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"Together, we will flush it from its hiding

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-hole and make it our prey.

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The poor will be freed from its tyranny.

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Up and down the world-tree Yggdrasil,

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fresh tales will bloom about your bravery

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against the beast.

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We will present its corpse as a trophy to the gods.

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We must observe the divine protocols."

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"Of course.

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course." She chuckled. "Since the gods have everything,

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all they want from us are good manners.

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And the occasional demon's head."

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She clutched those human's hands to her fluffy chest.

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"Are you not feeling better, sweet Robin?"

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"Heh. A little." The archer ran a finger down the bowstring across her breasts.

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"How'd you know this would cheer me up?"

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"Because I am Marian,

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The Fox, cleverest of the valkyrie.

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Because I am your lover

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of swift centuries.

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centuries." Standing, she brushed a paw along the fletching sticking out from her quiver.

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"Because you only fletch fine arrows

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so you may let them fly."

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Robin Hood stood on a bough,

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slipping the arrow that had so recently been a twig into her quiver.

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She placed her hand in the fox-valkyrie's paw,

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knowing that even falling from this height,

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her lover's wings would save her. ~ ~ ~

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This was “Robin Hood and Her Valkyrie”

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by Tempe O'Kun, read for you by Khaki,

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your faithful fireside companion.

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You can find more stories on the web at thevoice.dog,

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or find the show wherever you get your podcasts.

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Thank you for listening

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to The Voice of Dog.