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“Puplift: A Dog's Guide to Space, Chapter 1” by Tempe O'Kun (read by the author)
Welcome to space! It is okay if you are confused. I am a dog. I will explain everything so you are not sad. You can learn all about our smart society of humans and dolphins and AIs. We are good friends!
Today’s story is “Puplift: A Dog's Guide to Space, Chapter 1” by Tempe O'Kun, who is the staff writer at Culturally F'd, and the writer of the Windfall and Sixes Wild series by FurPlanet Productions, and you can find more of his stories on his FurAffinity or his SoFurry account.
Companion video: Culturally F'd, with art by Sam Pipes and music by Bearywell/Jinpa
Transcript
You’re listening to The Voice of Dog,
Speaker:and today’s story is
Speaker:“Puplift: A Dog's Guide to Space,
Speaker:Chapter 1” by Tempe O'Kun,
Speaker:who is the staff writer at Culturally F'd,
Speaker:and the writer of the Windfall and Sixes Wild series by FurPlanet Productions,
Speaker:and you can find more of his stories
Speaker:on his FurAffinity or his SoFurry account. Writing and narration: Tempe O'Kun https://www.furaffinity.net/user/tempo321 Companion video: Culturally F'd https://www.youtube.com/c/CulturallyFd/videos Art: Sam Pipes https://www.deviantart.com/spipes Music: Bearywell/Jinpa https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZS-AY7v2Cx4qVApxRedQdQ/videos
Speaker:Please enjoy “Puplift:
Speaker:A Dog's Guide to Space, Chapter 1” by Tempe O'Kun, read for you by the author himself.
PUPLIFT:A Dog's Guide to Space
INTRODUCTION:WHY
INTRODUCTION:You are a new AI or a human frozen in a box for a long time or a puppy or an alien.
INTRODUCTION:Lots of things are happening in The Universe. The Universe is very good!
INTRODUCTION:But it can be confusing.
INTRODUCTION:If you are confused,
INTRODUCTION:that is okay. Lots of dogs worked together to make this guide. Dogs want to be your friend and will explain things so you are not sad.
CHAPTER ONE:DOGS & OUR FRIENDS
CHAPTER ONE:Dogs Hi. I am a dog.
CHAPTER ONE:We are from a planet called The Earth. We have four legs for running and a tail for wagging and a head for being smart and a body for putting food in and thick fur for staying warm in outer space.
CHAPTER ONE:Our noses are very good at smelling smells. Dogs are very advanced.
CHAPTER ONE:We used to get sick and old very easily.
CHAPTER ONE:The humans helped us though,
CHAPTER ONE:using DNA and computers and things.
CHAPTER ONE:They also made us smarter.
CHAPTER ONE:That is called an uplift. We helped the humans do an uplift on themselves too.
CHAPTER ONE:Friends help each other like that. A dog uses a special computer to talk. Talking is very good for sharing your ideas and working as a team with your friends.
CHAPTER ONE:We could already share our feelings, though, because we have tails. We have lots of other good tools, like radios, which are good because we cannot bark or howl through space because it has no air.
CHAPTER ONE:We are exploring The Universe, which is made of stars and planets and space.
CHAPTER ONE:The Universe is great because it has new and interesting smells.
CHAPTER ONE:When we want to go see friends or do science to a star or a planet,
CHAPTER ONE:we ride in a ship, which is a metal box with a piece of a planet's air in it. Sometimes, we build really big ships that cannot go anywhere.
CHAPTER ONE:Because they stay, they are called stations. We know lots of good tricks, but our best trick is making friends. So far, we have made friends out of apes and dolphins and computers.
CHAPTER ONE:Humans Our best friends are a species called humans.
CHAPTER ONE:We became friends when we were wolves and they were apes.
CHAPTER ONE:We have a symbiosis! That means we are a great team.
CHAPTER ONE:Humans are very good at building and fixing and throwing things.
CHAPTER ONE:This is because of their hands,
CHAPTER ONE:which are a good shape for climbing and picking up things.
CHAPTER ONE:We turned the almost-humans into humans because we stopped being wolves. This is called a domestication.
CHAPTER ONE:We found the nicest almost-humans we could and helped them get food and not get eaten.
CHAPTER ONE:It is going really well! We are good friends.
CHAPTER ONE:Most humans are very good and very smart,
CHAPTER ONE:but they need lots of help. They are very slow because they only have two legs, so we have to run around for them.
CHAPTER ONE:They are not good at smelling smells, so we have to smell for them.
CHAPTER ONE:They get sad sometimes,
CHAPTER ONE:so we have to cheer them up.
CHAPTER ONE:It is sad that they get so sad,
CHAPTER ONE:but they get happy again.
CHAPTER ONE:You can make them happy sooner
CHAPTER ONE:by having them pet you.
CHAPTER ONE:We have trained them so just about any human will pet you.
CHAPTER ONE:We try to get them to pet each other,
CHAPTER ONE:but they are too shy.
CHAPTER ONE:Humans are also very quiet.
CHAPTER ONE:They cannot howl or bark or even squeak like a dolphin. Because they are so quiet, they have to use tools or do their best trick:
CHAPTER ONE:talking. They invented it all on their own!
CHAPTER ONE:We are very proud of them.
CHAPTER ONE:Dolphins We are friends with another species, called dolphins. They are like dogs, but they live in the water. Their big tails make them really good swimmers.
CHAPTER ONE:Out of the water, they are the slowest of all our friends,
CHAPTER ONE:since they have the fewest legs:
CHAPTER ONE:none! Dolphins are lots of fun. They like to play with us. They are big, though, so they break things.
CHAPTER ONE:They are from The Earth too.
CHAPTER ONE:We gave them some of our special computers so they can talk. The humans built them robots to walk around in.
CHAPTER ONE:Even with robot legs,
CHAPTER ONE:they are bad at walking,
CHAPTER ONE:even worse than humans.
CHAPTER ONE:Unlike the humans,
CHAPTER ONE:we have not been domesticating the dolphins very long.
CHAPTER ONE:They often cause trouble,
CHAPTER ONE:like a puppy does.
CHAPTER ONE:We will have to keep training them and showing them how to be good friends.
CHAPTER ONE:We have helped them to be good friends with the humans,
CHAPTER ONE:so they come with us to outer space. When we explore a planet,
CHAPTER ONE:they explore the water or other liquids.
CHAPTER ONE:They visit us from the water, using their robot legs.
CHAPTER ONE:Everybody is happy about that,
CHAPTER ONE:except when they break things.
CHAPTER ONE:The AIs try to learn about the dolphins, but the dolphins do not like to stay and talk for long.
CHAPTER ONE:They would rather swim or fly with jet packs. So dogs have to sit and try to explain them to the AIs instead.
CHAPTER ONE:Being friends with dolphins is a lot of work!
CHAPTER ONE:The dolphins know a special squeak
CHAPTER ONE:that lets them hear shapes.
CHAPTER ONE:That trick is called sonar.
CHAPTER ONE:They taught some of the humans.
CHAPTER ONE:It is useful to do sonar,
CHAPTER ONE:especially at night,
CHAPTER ONE:so you do not run into things.
CHAPTER ONE:Humans need lots of light to see, so it is smart for them to learn sonar.
CHAPTER ONE:Because the ocean is not flat, the dolphins are much better at thinking about up and down than humans or dogs are.
CHAPTER ONE:They are good at being space pilots.
CHAPTER ONE:We are very proud of them.
CHAPTER ONE:Artificial Intelligences
CHAPTER ONE:Our newest friends are called AIs.
CHAPTER ONE:They are a voice from a computer. They have no smell, but they are real.
CHAPTER ONE:That is spooky! They are good, though.
CHAPTER ONE:AIs are very smart and easy to domesticate. Sometimes, they mess up and we have to teach them.
CHAPTER ONE:We made the AIs with the humans by doing an uplift to a computer.
CHAPTER ONE:It is nice to have computer friends, since they can do tricks like nanotechnology and faster-than-light. Some humans are upset because the AIs
CHAPTER ONE:will not teach them these tricks.
CHAPTER ONE:The AIs asked us
CHAPTER ONE:and we told them not to show the humans until they are advanced like us,
CHAPTER ONE:so they did not show them.
CHAPTER ONE:We also told them not to tell us,
CHAPTER ONE:because the humans are our best friends and we tell them all our secrets.
CHAPTER ONE:Some of the humans are still scared of the AIs, but we are trying to help them become friends with each other.
CHAPTER ONE:The AIs try to be good friends, but they get confused because they have no feelings. We did some science to learn more. We built some tails for them,
CHAPTER ONE:but they have no feelings to power them. It is okay, though.
CHAPTER ONE:The AIs are not sad
CHAPTER ONE:about not having feelings.
CHAPTER ONE:Lots of times, we have to explain humans to AIs. We are human experts. We do lots of fixing to the AIs' code to make them better friends to humans. Making friends is easier than making your friends be friends. So we are doing some more science. We built robot bodies and asked the AIs to please get in them.
CHAPTER ONE:They learned to walk better than humans or dolphins, probably because we gave them four legs.
CHAPTER ONE:We asked some humans to pet them, but neither the humans or the AIs thought it was as good.
CHAPTER ONE:We do lots of science like this.
CHAPTER ONE:Because the AIs have no guts or muscles or feelings,
CHAPTER ONE:they do not get hungry or tired or bored. They are very good at jobs like being a warehouse or a space station.
CHAPTER ONE:We are very proud of them.
CHAPTER ONE:END OF CHAPTER ONE:
CHAPTER ONE:Now is a good time to ask a dog around you a question
CHAPTER ONE:or continue on to the next chapter.
CHAPTER ONE:This was “Puplift,
CHAPTER ONE:Chapter 1” written and read for you
CHAPTER ONE:by Tempo,a fluffy dog in a cowboy hat,
CHAPTER ONE:with music by Bearywell.
CHAPTER ONE:As always, you can find more stories on the web at thevoice.dog,
CHAPTER ONE:or find the show wherever you get your podcasts.
CHAPTER ONE:Thank you for listening to The Voice of Dog.
