full

“Eat the Rich” by Rob MacWolf (read by Solomon Harries)

EXCLUSIVE REPORT: This intrepid journalist sat down with one of the ravenous dead to get their side of the story.

Tonight’s story is “Eat the Rich” by Rob MacWolf, which you can expect to see in the zombie anthology, Night of the Howling Dead, coming soon.

Read by Solomon Harries, Cuddly Badger Dad.

thevoice.dog | Apple podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts

If you have a story you think would be a good fit, you can check out the requirements, fill out the submission template and get in touch with us.

https://thevoice.dog/episode/eat-the-rich-by-rob-macwolf

Transcript
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You’re

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listening

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to

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the

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Ghost

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of

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Dog

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on

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The

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Voice

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of

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Dog.

Speaker:

Tonight’s

Speaker:

story

Speaker:

is “Eat

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the

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Rich”

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by

Speaker:

Rob MacWolf,

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which

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you

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can

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expect

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to

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see

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in

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the

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zombie

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anthology,

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Night

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of

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the

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Howling

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Dead,

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coming

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soon.

Read

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by

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Solomon

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Harries,

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Cuddly

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Badger

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Dad.

Consider

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the

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zombie.

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Not

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the

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crude

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mindless

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thing

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driven

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by

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hunger,

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but

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as

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it

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comes

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to

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us

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in

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the

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original

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folklore

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of

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the

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colonial

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caribbean.

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Raised

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by

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dark

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magic,

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compelled

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into

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menial

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labor

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until

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the

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accidental

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taste

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of

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blood

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or

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salt

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awakens

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it

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to

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revenge. This

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original

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zombie embodies

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the fear of enslavement,

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the

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fear that

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not

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even

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death

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can

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prevent

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them

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putting

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you

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to

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work.

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A relevant

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fear

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in

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the

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colonial

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caribbean.

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Perhaps

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a relevant

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fear

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today

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as

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well.

Please

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enjoy


“Eat

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the Rich” by Rob MacWolf

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wouldn't maybe have

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a

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cigarette,

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before

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we

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start?”
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mean,

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I

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can

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light

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put

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it

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in

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my

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mouth.

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What's

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left

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of

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my

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mouth.

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Jaws,

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I

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guess?

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I

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can

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inhale

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the

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smoke,

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hell,

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probly

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better

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than

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you

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can.

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Not

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like

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it

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can

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hurt

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me

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anymore.

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can't

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taste

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it

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if

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what

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you

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mean.

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feel

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it.

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are

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a

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few

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very

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specific

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things

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still

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taste,

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and

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cigarettes

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aren't

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on

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the

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list.

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going

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through

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the

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motions

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feels

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good.

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me

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remember

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the

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taste,

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I

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guess.”
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questions,

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then.”
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first

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off,

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there

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isn't

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But

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Dead-style

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up

Rack:

the

Rack:

wrong

Rack:

tree.”
“Uh,

Rack:

sorry,

Rack:

spaced

Rack:

out

Rack:

there,

Rack:

something

Rack:

I

Rack:

said

Rack:

almost

Rack:

brought

Rack:

up…

Rack:

Never

Rack:

mind.

Rack:

Could

Rack:

you

Rack:

repeat

Rack:

that

Rack:

one?”
“Shit,

Rack:

that’s

Rack:

actually

Rack:

a

Rack:

pretty

Rack:

good

Rack:

question.

Rack:

The

Rack:

chain

Rack:

of

Rack:

responsibility

Rack:

so

Rack:

far’s

been:

been:

whoever

been:

did

been:

the

been:

rite

been:

to

been:

raise

been:

us,

been:

to

been:

whatever

been:

boss

been:

or

been:

manager

been:

told

been:

them

been:

to,

been:

to

been:

whoever

been:

that

been:

boss

been:

worked

been:

for,

been:

on

been:

up

been:

to

been:

whatever

been:

board

been:

members,

been:

and

been:

then

been:

the

been:

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owner

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if

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there

been:

is

been:

one.

been:

So

been:

far,

been:

I

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haven’t

been:

heard

been:

of

been:

the

been:

curse

been:

making

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go

been:

after

been:

someone

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for

been:

owning

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stock,

been:

but

been:

it’s

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sicced

been:

me

been:

on

been:

a

been:

pawful

been:

of

been:

hedge

been:

fund

been:

managers.

been:

I

been:

guess

been:

you

been:

heard

been:

about

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what

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just

been:

happened

been:

to

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that

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one

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senator.

been:

Probly

been:

why

been:

you’re

been:

asking.”
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been:

like

been:

to

been:

think

been:

it’s

been:

not

been:

gonna

been:

make

been:

me

been:

chew

been:

you

been:

to

been:

death

been:

just

been:

for

been:

having a 401k

been:

that

been:

included

been:

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been:

company

been:

I

been:

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been:

for…

been:

or

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god,

been:

just

been:

for

been:

doing

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a

been:

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job

been:

at

been:

the

been:

place,

been:

but

been:

I

been:

don’t

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know.

been:

There’re

been:

still

been:

CEOs

been:

out

been:

there.

been:

I

been:

can

been:

feel

been:

them—hell, I could

been:

point at

been:

every

been:

CEO

been:

of

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any

been:

of

been:

that

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generation

been:

of

been:

corporations,

been:

left

been:

alive

been:

in

been:

the

been:

world

been:

right

been:

now,

been:

if

been:

you

been:

want—but

been:

I

been:

dunno

been:

what

been:

happens

been:

when

been:

the

been:

last

been:

of

been:

them

been:

goes

been:

down.”
“And

been:

they

been:

will

been:

go

been:

down.

been:

There’s

been:

no

been:

bunker

been:

we

been:

can’t

been:

eventually

been:

dig

been:

our

been:

way

been:

into.

been:

There’s

been:

no

been:

mountain

been:

we

been:

can’t

been:

crawl

been:

our

been:

way

been:

up.

been:

An

been:

island’s

been:

no

been:

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been:

we

been:

can

been:

walk

been:

across

been:

the

been:

bottom

been:

of

been:

the

been:

ocean—it

been:

sucks,

been:

but

been:

I’ve

been:

done

been:

it.

been:

And

been:

disguises

been:

or

been:

hiding

been:

won’t

been:

work,

been:

the

been:

curse

been:

doesn’t

been:

need

been:

us

been:

to

been:

care

been:

who

been:

you

been:

are

been:

or

been:

what

been:

you

been:

look

been:

like

been:

if

been:

you’re

been:

next

been:

in

been:

the

been:

chain

been:

of

been:

responsibility.

been:

They’ve

been:

been

been:

trying

been:

to

been:

stop

been:

us

been:

for

been:

years,

been:

but

been:

nobody’s

been:

found

been:

anything

been:

that

been:

works

been:

yet.

been:

Like,

been:

I

been:

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been:

maybe

been:

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been:

on

been:

a

been:

ship?

been:

Some

been:

kinda

been:

floating

been:

platform?

been:

But

been:

then

been:

there’d

been:

be

been:

nothing

been:

stopping

been:

us

been:

from

been:

taking

been:

a

been:

boat

been:

ourselves.”
“I

been:

hope

been:

it

been:

doesn’t

been:

run

been:

on ‘no

been:

ethical

been:

consumption

been:

under

been:

capitalism’

been:

rules.

been:

Like,

been:

everyone

been:

who

been:

ever

been:

bought

been:

something

been:

from

been:

a

been:

company

been:

owned

been:

by

been:

a

been:

company

been:

owned

been:

by

been:

a

been:

shell

been:

corporation

been:

subcontracted

been:

to

been:

a

been:

firm

been:

run

been:

by

been:

a

been:

guy

been:

who

been:

changed

been:

jobs

been:

to

been:

a

been:

company

been:

that

been:

used

been:

undead

been:

labor.

been:

If

been:

I

been:

slept,

been:

that’d

been:

keep

been:

me

been:

up

been:

at

been:

night. 'Cause,

been:

like,

been:

who

been:

in

been:

the

been:

world

been:

wouldn’t

been:

that

been:

count?

been:

But

been:

I

been:

mean,

been:

it’s

been:

an

been:

evil

been:

curse.

been:

Maybe

been:

that’s

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the

been:

kind

been:

of

been:

spiteful

been:

that

been:

it

been:

is?

been:

That’s

been:

your

been:

worst-case

been:

scenario, 'cause…

been:

shit

been:

I

been:

dunno

been:

what

been:

happens

been:

then

been:

but

been:

there’s

been:

no

been:

way

been:

it

been:

ends

been:

well.

been:

But

been:

I

been:

don’t

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get

been:

a

been:

choice

been:

about

been:

who

been:

it

been:

makes

been:

me…

been:

go

been:

after, 'cause

been:

I

been:

didn’t

been:

get

been:

a

been:

choice

been:

about

been:

getting

been:

turned

been:

into

been:

this.”
“I

been:

have

been:

to

been:

believe

been:

that

been:

eating

been:

the rich’ll

been:

be

been:

the

been:

end

been:

of

been:

it.”
“Fuck.

been:

I

been:

hope

been:

that’s

been:

the

been:

end

been:

of

been:

it.”
“And

been:

no,

been:

I

been:

don’t

been:

know

been:

what

been:

happens

been:

when

been:

it

been:

ends

been:

either.

been:

The

been:

folklore

been:

says

been:

once

been:

a

been:

zombie

been:

gets

been:

revenge,

been:

the

been:

spell

been:

is

been:

broken,

been:

and

been:

it’s

been:

supposed to just

been:

go

been:

back

been:

to

been:

being

been:

dead.

been:

But

been:

I

been:

don’t

been:

know

been:

what

been:

that’ll

been:

mean

been:

for

been:

me, 'cause

been:

like

been:

I’m

been:

not

been:

even

been:

sure

been:

if

been:

I

been:

am

been:

Casey,

been:

you

been:

know?

been:

Maybe

been:

the

been:

real

been:

Casey is in

been:

heaven.

been:

Or

been:

hell.

been:

Or

been:

wherever

been:

I

been:

deserve

been:

to

been:

be.

been:

And I’m just this… shell of him

been:

left

been:

behind

been:

that’s

been:

been

been:

cursed

been:

to

been:

think

been:

it’s

been:

him.”
“Maybe

been:

the

been:

curse

been:

is

been:

all

been:

there

been:

really

been:

is

been:

of

been:

me.

been:

When

been:

it’s

been:

finally

been:

done,

been:

the

been:

body

been:

just

been:

turns

been:

off,

been:

and

been:

there’s

been:

no

been:

more ‘me,’

been:

cause

been:

there

been:

was

been:

never

been:

any

been:

me

been:

to

been:

begin

been:

with.

been:

Just

been:

someone’s

been:

body

been:

walking

been:

around.”
“Honestly,

been:

I’d

been:

be

been:

fine

been:

with

been:

that.

been:

I’m

been:

real

been:

tired.

been:

There’s

been:

no

been:

way

been:

to

been:

explain

been:

how

been:

tired,

been:

but…

been:

I

been:

don’t

been:

have

been:

the

been:

power

been:

to

been:

stop

been:

doing

been:

what

been:

somebody

been:

else

been:

decided

been:

I’d

been:

do.

been:

That’s

been:

what

been:

being

been:

a

been:

zombie

been:

means,

been:

I

been:

guess.”
“You

been:

got

been:

any

been:

other

been:

questions?”
“Uh,

been:

not

been:

really.

been:

Like

been:

I

been:

said,

been:

I

been:

don’t

been:

remember

been:

any

been:

family.

been:

I

been:

guess…

been:

if

been:

you’re

been:

out

been:

there,

been:

somebody

been:

reading

been:

this,

been:

if

been:

you

been:

think

been:

you

been:

recognize

been:

me…”
“Shit,

been:

I

been:

dunno.”
“How

been:

about

been:

if

been:

you

been:

think

been:

I

been:

sound

been:

familiar?

been:

Then

been:

no.

been:

No,

been:

I

been:

don’t.

been:

Even

been:

if

been:

you

been:

knew

been:

a

been:

ferret,

been:

named

been:

Casey,

been:

in

been:

the

been:

Midwest,

been:

drove

been:

a

been:

green

been:

pickup,

been:

and

been:

had

been:

crowns

been:

on two

been:

teeth…

been:

He’s

been:

dead,

been:

man.

been:

Died

been:

years

been:

ago.

been:

It’s

been:

better

been:

for

been:

both

been:

of

been:

us

been:

if

been:

it

been:

stays

been:

that

been:

way.

been:

Just…

been:

let

been:

Casey

been:

rest

been:

in

been:

peace.”
“Even

been:

if

been:

you’re

been:

some

been:

black

been:

and

been:

white

been:

dog

been:

whose

been:

name

been:

I

been:

don’t

been:

remember.”
“Alright

been:

then.

been:

No,

been:

no,

been:

it’s

been:

no

been:

trouble.

been:

Helps

been:

pass

been:

the

been:

time,

been:

you

been:

know,

been:

and

been:

it’s

been:

nice

been:

just

been:

being

been:

talked

been:

to

been:

after

been:

years

been:

of,

been:

you

been:

know,

been:

everything

been:

else.”
“I

been:

guess

been:

I

been:

wouldn’t

been:

say

been:

no

been:

to

been:

another

been:

cigarette

been:

before

been:

you

been:

go.”
“Stay

been:

alive

been:

out

been:

there,

been:

alright?”



This

been:

was “Eat

been:

the

been:

Rich”

been:

by

been:

Rob

been:

MacWolf,

been:

read

been:

for you

been:

by

been:

Solomon

been:

Harries,

been:

Cuddly

been:

Badger

been:

Dad.

been:

You

been:

can

been:

find

been:

more

been:

stories

been:

on

been:

the

been:

web

been:

at

been:

thevoice.dog, or

been:

find

been:

the

been:

show

been:

wherever

been:

you

been:

get

been:

your

been:

podcasts.

been:

Thank

been:

you

been:

for

been:

listening

been:

to

been:

The

been:

Ghost

been:

of

been:

Dog.

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Show artwork for The Voice of Dog
The Voice of Dog
Furry stories to warm the ol' cockles, read by Rob MacWolf and guests. If you have a story that would suit the show, you can get in touch with @VoiceOfDog@meow.social on Mastodon, @voiceofdog.bsky.social on Blue Sky, or @Theodwulf on Telegram.

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