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“Dragonslayer” by Gre7g Luterman

A story about British manners getting in the way.

Today’s story is “Dragonslayer” by Gre7g Luterman, who won the Ursa Major last year for his novel “Small World”. Gre7g has several novels up on Amazon, but after they banned his erotica for being too spicy, he now asks everyone to shop for his books directly from his website at www.gre7g.com or to support him through his Patreon.

Read for you by Khaki, your faithful fireside companion.

Transcript
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You’re listening to The Voice of Dog.

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I’m Khaki, your faithful fireside companion,

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and today’s story is

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“Dragonslayer” by Gre7g Luterman,

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who won the Ursa Major last year for his novel “Small World”.

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Gre7g has several novels up on Amazon,

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but after they banned his erotica for being too spicy, he now asks everyone to shop for his books directly from his website

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at G-R-E-seven-G dot com (gre7g.

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(gre7g.com) or to support him through his Patreon at patreon.com slash G-R-E-seven-G (patreon.com/gre7g)

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“Dragonslayer” by Gre7g Luterman How I managed to miss Sir Henry clanking through the chambers that lead to my cavern, I certainly do not know.

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It was quite a surprise,

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considering his lavish costume,

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but when I get busy, I can just tune the entire world out.

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Mair teases me to no end about that!

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He was dressed from head to toe in a lovely suit of armor that had been polished to a mirror surface.

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The edges were trimmed with copper and his breast plate was painted

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with a forest green fleur-de-lis.

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His jackal head shaped helm had

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been made by Glamorgan's finest smith.

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I had just set the kettle to boil and was running in a hundred different directions

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(as is my way at parties),

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making sure my guests were comfortable and had something to eat.

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"Oh, goodness!" I gasped and put a claw to my heart.

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"You gave me such a shock."

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Henry said nothing for a moment, and when he did,

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he sounded so terribly formal.

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I had heard that southerners were that way,

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so it did not really surprise me.

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"I have come to slay you, dragon!"

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"Dragon? Oh, I'm so terribly sorry.

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Where are my manners today?"

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I apologized with a smile.

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I gave him my best curtsy and started over with an introduction.

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"My name Gwenyth Bynon,

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but you may call me Gwen,

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everybody does." Henry stuttered for a moment

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and opened his visor.

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He had handsome, green eyes and a ruddy mustache.

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His complexion looked a bit pale

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and I guessed him to be shy.

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"I am Sir Henry of the land of Glamorgan.

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Glamorgan..." "The south! I knew it.

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it." I was so excited that I could not help interrupting.

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"I've never met a southerner before,

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and certainly never a knight.

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knight." I blushed bright yellow

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and put my claws over my mouth.

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"Oh, please forgive.

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Whatever can I do for you, Sir Henry.

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Henry." I batted my eyes

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and waited for him to continue.

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"The king has sent his four bravest knights to the corners of the land,"

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he explained and waited for me to see where he was leading.

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When he saw that I was confused

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he continued. "Sir Richard to Porthmadog,

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Sir George to Pendine,

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Sir Arthur to Ebbw Vale, and myself here

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to Llangollen...

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to slay you." "Oh, what unfortunate timing," I exclaimed.

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"I only wish I had known.

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Mair and Bronwen are already here."

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Mair peeked around the corner and I waved her closer.

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"Mair, come here. You must meet Sir Henry.

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The king has sent him to slay me!"

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"What a lovely sword!" she gasped.

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"Would you mind?" she said,

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taking it from his hand.

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"Gwen, dear, did you see the workmanship on this sword? It is absolutely spiffing."

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Henry stared at Mair for the longest time.

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I can't really blame him.

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She is a stunning creature.

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Her scales are a deep

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ruby red and in the sunlight they gleam like wet paint.

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She is slim in the waist

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and her wide wings are jet black.

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Not that I'm jealous of my best friend, mind you.

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"And this handle! Did you see the intricate wire work?"

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Mair brought it closer and held it to the light.

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"Oh yes, indeed," I had to agree.

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"You must think us so provincial, Sir Henry.

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We've always heard about the Glamorgan artisans,

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but I've never actually seen any of their works before.

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before." I slapped my forehead.

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"Mair Lloyd, this is Sir Henry. Sir Henry this is Mair,

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the Dragon of Ebbw Vale."

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"Actually, I'm from Nantynglo,"

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she explained. "It's a little village just outside of Ebbw Vale.

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You really must come and visit if you are ever in Gwent."

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"Bronwen, come here and meet Sir Henry,"

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I called. "Sir Henry? Why, what lovely armor!" she said.

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"Yes, and you must see his sword,"

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Mair added. "This is a real work of art,"

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Bronwen said, turning the delicate weapon over in her large claws. "Sir Henry said that the king himself sent Sir Richard to slay you in Porthmadog,"

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I told her. "It was Sir Richard, wasn't it, Sir Henry?"

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"Yes, ma'am," he managed.

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"Oh, goodness no! I didn't even tidy up before I flew here,"

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Bronwen said, clapping her claws to her charcoal colored cheeks.

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"How very embarrassing.

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embarrassing." "Pish. If I know you, you could probably eat off your floors." To

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Henry I explain,

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"Bronwen has a lovely crag in the mountains.

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You can see the sea from her nest."

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Bronwen blushed and tugged at the knight's arm,

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trying to lead him back to the dining room.

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"You must have had an exciting journey.

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Tell us about it, please?"

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Henry's cheeks grew rosy.

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"I haven't

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come here to tell stories. I've come to slay a dragon."

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"Oh, that's right." Presently, the kettle began to whistle.

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"Botheration! Let me get that.

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Why don't you slay Mair, Sir Henry?"

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Mair sighed. "I don't want to sound like a stick-in-the-mud, but I just flew in from the Rhondda.

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I really am quite exhausted.

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Why don't you slay Bronwen instead?"

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"Oh, no. I couldn't,"

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Bronwen giggled, covering her face with her claws.

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"Besides, it just wouldn't be right.

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We're only guests, after all."

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"Oh, very well. Why don't you slay me after tea, Sir Henry?"

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Bronwen lead him away

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and twittered questions about the south.

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"Milk or lemon in your tea, sir Henry?"

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I called after them. # # # Sir Henry

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sat politely at the table, looking only a little uncomfortable.

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His eyes darted occasionally between the lace-trimmed tablecloth,

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my other guests, and the "Thou shalt not...

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not..." embroidered text on the wall.

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"What a marvelous tea service,"

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Mair said. "Wherever did you find it?"

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"Oh, do you like it?"

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I couldn't help smiling.

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"Mrs. Morgan down in the village fired them just for me."

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"And these cucumber sandwiches are beautiful,"

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Bronwen said, taking her eyes from Sir Henry for only a moment.

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God bless her, she can be such a flirt.

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"I hope you don't mind, Sir Henry,

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I used your sword to slice and butter the bara brith.

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brith." He looked pale again.

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"I washed it and put it in the drying rack beside the sink. Now, you mustn't dash off and leave without it."

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"Oh, no, you mustn't dash off at all," Bronwen said,

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shamelessly putting her claws over his hand.

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"We were just waiting for Bened so we could begin our weekly bridge game."

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I snapped my claws.

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"Sir George must have caught up with Bened before he left Pendine.

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That would explain why he is so late."

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"You're right!" Bronwen giggled.

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"Oh, Sir Henry, you must be my partner instead.

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Please say you will." I exchanged places with Bronwen, and Henry finally conceded to her relentless wheedling.

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He took off his helm and gauntlets,

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and proceeded to shuffle.

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Despite the large deck,

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Henry had little difficulty.

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He held the stacks with his elbows and feathered the cards with each hand. Mair cut and Henry dealt. "Tell us of the Glamorgan castles, please, Sir Henry?"

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Bronwen begged. "We've heard all about them, but we haven't been so far south yet."

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Henry told us tales of Glamorgan

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and we sat in rapt fascination.

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He really is a wonderful storyteller once he loosens up.

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He told us of carnival,

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and of court, but only when Mair pried did he confirm some of the scandalous rumors we had heard.

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"Did she really go on holiday with the Duke, Sir Henry?"

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Mair asked. "I saw them get in the carriage together myself.

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And do please call me Henry."

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"But isn't the Duke old enough to be her father?"

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Bronwen giggled. Henry blushed

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and sloughed a high spade.

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"Well, you didn't hear any of this from me,"

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he added. # # # When the game was over, Henry collected his gear and headed back to Glamorgan.

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He even kissed the back of Bronwen's claws on his way out.

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Mair and I kept our laughter to ourselves. "He forgot

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to slay you!" Mair

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reminded me. "Oh botheration.

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I do hope he doesn't get all the way back to Glamorgan before he recalls.

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Well, I suppose he will just have to come back then,"

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I said, collecting up the dishes.

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"Now what would 'slaying' be, I wonder?" Bronwen asked, her voice somewhat dreamy. Mair shrugged and I shook my head. "I haven't the faintest idea. I assumed it was some sort of Glamorganian ceremony. It's the first time I've heard of it.

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it." "So sorry I'm late!" Bened called as he entered my cavern. "Bened!" Mair roared and squeezed him tight. "We were afraid you would not make it." "I'm dreadfully sorry," he said. "I was just getting ready to leave when

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a nice young man from

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Glamorgan popped by."

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"That must have been Sir George,"

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I said. "His friend, Sir Henry, was just here.

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Let me put the kettle back on."

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"Oh did I miss him?"

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Bened said, looking around for our former guest.

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"He did mention something about the other knights being on a quest as well.

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well." "Henry said something about slaying Gwen,"

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Bronwen tittered.

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"Have you ever heard of such a thing?"

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Bened scratched the bright green scales behind his ear as he thought.

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"I can't say that I have."

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"So what is Sir George like?"

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Mair asked. "He's a wonderful chess player,"

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Bened said, booming a laugh.

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"I could tell he was playing down to my level and still he cleaned the table with me.

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me." "One lump or two?" I asked Bened when he looked up.

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"One, please. Oh! What a lovely tea service,"

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he added. "Wherever did you find it?"

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This was “Dragonslayer”

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by Gre7g Luterman, read for you by Khaki, your faithful fireside companion.

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For more stories you can find us wherever you get your podcasts, or on the web

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at thevoice.dog.

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Thank you for listening

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to The Voice of Dog

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