full
[18+] “Icarus Dreams, a Glass Heart, and Slippers to Take Me Home” by Andrew French (read by the Author)
[18+] An exotic dancer comes to an epiphany regarding his lost boyfriend and his own loneliness.
Today’s story is “Icarus Dreams, a Glass Heart, and Slippers to Take Me Home” by Andrew “Aethan” French, who wrote the comic Circles and writes the weekly comic strip The Pigpen. You can find more of his stories on FurAffinity.
Read by the Author.
thevoice.dog | Apple podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts
If you have a story you think would be a good fit, you can check out the requirements, fill out the submission template and get in touch with us.
https://thevoice.dog/episode/18-icarus-dreams-a-glass-heart-and-slippers-to-take-me-home-by-andrew-french
Transcript
The
Speaker:Voice
Speaker:of
Speaker:Dog.
Speaker:This
Speaker:is
Speaker:Rob
Speaker:MacWolf, your
Speaker:fellow
Speaker:traveler,
Speaker:and
Speaker:Today’s
Speaker:story
Speaker:is “Icarus
Speaker:Dreams,
Speaker:a
Speaker:Glass
Speaker:Heart,
Speaker:and
Speaker:Slippers
Speaker:to
Speaker:Take
Speaker:Me
Speaker:Home”
Speaker:by
Speaker:Andrew “Aethan”
Speaker:French,
Speaker:who
Speaker:wrote
Speaker:the
Speaker:comic
Speaker:Circles
Speaker:and
Speaker:writes
Speaker:the
Speaker:weekly
Speaker:comic
Speaker:strip
Speaker:The
Speaker:Pigpen.
Speaker:You
Speaker:can
Speaker:find
Speaker:more
Speaker:of
Speaker:his
Speaker:stories
Speaker:on
Speaker:FurAffinity.
Read
by
Speaker:the
Speaker:Author.
Please
enjoy
“Icarus
Dreams,
Speaker:a
Speaker:Glass
Speaker:Heart,
Speaker:and
Speaker:Slippers
Speaker:to
Speaker:Take
Speaker:Me
Speaker:Home”
Speaker:by
Speaker:Andrew “Aethan”
Speaker:French
I'm
dancing,
Speaker:and
Speaker:when
Speaker:I
Speaker:dance,
Speaker:I
Speaker:dance
Speaker:alone.
Speaker:I
Speaker:am
Speaker:very
Speaker:fastidious
Speaker:about
Speaker:keeping
Speaker:my
Speaker:heart
Speaker:carefully
Speaker:empty
Speaker:when
Speaker:I
Speaker:dance.
Speaker:The
Speaker:club
Speaker:is
Speaker:only
Speaker:half-full
Speaker:tonight,
Speaker:but
Speaker:I
Speaker:always
Speaker:give
Speaker:my
Speaker:all,
Speaker:each
Speaker:and
Speaker:every
Speaker:time
Speaker:I
Speaker:take
Speaker:the
Speaker:stage.
Speaker:I
Speaker:dance,
Speaker:my
Speaker:body
Speaker:gyrating
Speaker:to
Speaker:some
Speaker:anonymous
Speaker:beat.
Speaker:The
Speaker:song
Speaker:has
Speaker:lyrics,
Speaker:but
Speaker:I
Speaker:cannot
Speaker:hear
Speaker:them.
Speaker:All
Speaker:I
Speaker:hear
Speaker:is
Speaker:the
Speaker:rhythm,
Speaker:and
Speaker:I
Speaker:move
Speaker:my
Speaker:body
Speaker:to
Speaker:it.
Speaker:Many
Speaker:of
Speaker:the
Speaker:other
Speaker:dancers
Speaker:are
Speaker:rude
Speaker:and
Speaker:lewd
Speaker:from
Speaker:the
Speaker:first
Speaker:measure
Speaker:of
Speaker:music,
Speaker:but
Speaker:I
Speaker:like
Speaker:to
Speaker:start
Speaker:innocently,
Speaker:slowly
Speaker:drawing
Speaker:my
Speaker:audience
Speaker:to
Speaker:desire
Speaker:me.
Speaker:Louis
Speaker:owns
Speaker:the
Speaker:club,
Speaker:and
Speaker:he
Speaker:says
Speaker:that
Speaker:I'm
Speaker:the
Speaker:best
Speaker:dancer
Speaker:he
Speaker:has.
Speaker:He
Speaker:says
Speaker:I
Speaker:seduce
Speaker:an
Speaker:audience,
Speaker:going
Speaker:from
Speaker:virgin
Speaker:to
Speaker:incubus.
Speaker:He
Speaker:says
Speaker:I
Speaker:make
Speaker:them
Speaker:want
Speaker:to
Speaker:fuck
Speaker:me,
Speaker:plead
Speaker:with
Speaker:them
Speaker:to
Speaker:do
Speaker:it
Speaker:using
Speaker:my
Speaker:eyes,
Speaker:lips,
Speaker:hips,
Speaker:tail,
Speaker:arms,
Speaker:and
Speaker:legs.
Speaker:But,
Speaker:if
Speaker:you
Speaker:asked
Speaker:me,
Speaker:I
Speaker:would
Speaker:say
Speaker:that
Speaker:I am
Speaker:only
Speaker:dancing,
Speaker:the
Speaker:only
Speaker:way
Speaker:I
Speaker:know
Speaker:how.
Speaker:My
Speaker:dancing
Speaker:is sensual,
Speaker:but
Speaker:other
Speaker:people
Speaker:want
Speaker:it
Speaker:to
Speaker:be
Speaker:sexual,
Speaker:so,
Speaker:for
Speaker:them,
Speaker:it
Speaker:is.
I have
built
Speaker:up
Speaker:my
Speaker:motions,
Speaker:slowly
Speaker:moving
Speaker:my
Speaker:tail
Speaker:side
Speaker:to
Speaker:side
Speaker:and
Speaker:making
Speaker:rolling,
Speaker:undulating
Speaker:strokes
Speaker:of
Speaker:my
Speaker:hips
Speaker:that,
Speaker:to
Speaker:me,
Speaker:recall
Speaker:swimming
Speaker:in
Speaker:my
Speaker:Uncle's
Speaker:pool,
Speaker:but,
Speaker:by
Speaker:the
Speaker:expressions of
Speaker:my
Speaker:audience,
Speaker:I
Speaker:know
Speaker:that
Speaker:they are
Speaker:thinking
Speaker:about
Speaker:me
Speaker:swimming
Speaker:beneath
Speaker:them
Speaker:between
Speaker:silk
Speaker:and
Speaker:satin
Speaker:sheets.
Speaker:I
Speaker:don't
Speaker:mind
Speaker:when
Speaker:they
Speaker:think
Speaker:that.
Speaker:I
Speaker:gave
Speaker:up
Speaker:minding
Speaker:about
Speaker:such
Speaker:things
Speaker:a
Speaker:long
Speaker:time
Speaker:ago.
Speaker:I
Speaker:can
Speaker:pretend
Speaker:to
Speaker:be
Speaker:innocent
Speaker:if
Speaker:I
Speaker:want,
Speaker:but
Speaker:I
Speaker:cannot
Speaker:pretend
Speaker:to
Speaker:be
Speaker:ignorant
Speaker:or
Speaker:offended.
Speaker:They are
Speaker:here
Speaker:to
Speaker:watch
Speaker:me
Speaker:dance
Speaker:and
Speaker:to
Speaker:fantasize,
Speaker:and
Speaker:I
Speaker:will
Speaker:not
Speaker:deny
Speaker:them
Speaker:either,
Speaker:if
Speaker:it
Speaker:pleases
Speaker:them.
Speaker:The
Speaker:light
Speaker:costume
Speaker:I
Speaker:was
Speaker:wearing
Speaker:has
Speaker:been
Speaker:largely
Speaker:discarded.
Speaker:I am
Speaker:now
Speaker:only
Speaker:wearing
Speaker:a
Speaker:tight
Speaker:posing
Speaker:pouch,
Speaker:barely
Speaker:more
Speaker:than
Speaker:a
Speaker:silk
Speaker:jockstrap,
Speaker:if
Speaker:one
Speaker:wishes
Speaker:to
Speaker:be
Speaker:blunt.
Speaker:And
Speaker:my
Speaker:empty
heart:heart:
I
heart:always
heart:wear
heart:my
heart:empty
heart:heart
heart:when
heart:I
heart:dance.
heart:It
heart:rests
heart:against
heart:the
heart:soft,
heart:sleek
heart:fur
heart:of
heart:my
heart:chest,
heart:its
heart:cord
heart:warm
heart:around
heart:my
heart:neck.
heart:I
heart:find
heart:its
heart:presence
heart:comforting.
heart:In
heart:the
heart:five
heart:years
heart:I have
heart:possessed
heart:it,
heart:I have
heart:never
heart:removed
heart:it,
heart:except
heart:once,
heart:when
heart:its
heart:original
heart:cord
heart:broke.
"Take
it
heart:off!"
heart:someone
heart:in
heart:the
heart:crowd
heart:crows,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:smile,
heart:obligingly
heart:sliding
heart:my
heart:paws
heart:down
heart:my
heart:chest
heart:to
heart:the
heart:posing
heart:pouch's
heart:tie-strings.
heart:With
heart:deliberate
heart:slowness,
heart:I
heart:pull
heart:the
heart:strings,
heart:letting
heart:the
heart:slip
heart:of
heart:cloth
heart:fall
heart:away,
heart:revealing
heart:everything
heart:to
heart:the
heart:room
heart:full
heart:of
heart:strangers.
heart:I am
heart:half-erect,
heart:my
heart:slender
heart:shaft
heart:rising
heart:from
heart:its
heart:sheath,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:hear
heart:a
heart:number
heart:of
heart:appreciative
heart:wolf-whistles
heart:and
heart:cat-calls.
heart:I
heart:smile
heart:for
heart:them,
heart:with
heart:no
heart:joy
heart:in
heart:my
heart:eyes.
heart:If
heart:I
heart:have
heart:given
heart:up
heart:being
heart:embarrassed
heart:by
heart:the
heart:admiration
heart:and
heart:fantasies
heart:of
heart:others,
heart:I have
heart:likewise
heart:given
heart:up
heart:my
heart:own
heart:dreams
heart:for
heart:theirs.
heart:I
heart:run
heart:my
heart:fingers
heart:up
heart:again,
heart:into
heart:the
heart:tight
heart:tangle
heart:of
heart:black
heart:curls
heart:atop
heart:my
heart:head,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:close
heart:my
heart:eyes,
heart:tilting
heart:my
heart:head
heart:back
heart:as
heart:if
heart:in
heart:ecstasy.
heart:I
heart:part
heart:my
heart:lips
heart:slightly,
heart:letting
heart:my
heart:tongue
heart:glide
heart:lightly
heart:over
heart:my
heart:teeth,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:hear
heart:at
heart:least
heart:one
heart:incoherent
heart:moan
heart:from
heart:my
heart:audience.
heart:They are
heart:sweet
heart:tonight,
heart:and
heart:they
heart:want
heart:me,
heart:badly.
heart:I
heart:slowly
heart:sink
heart:to
heart:my
heart:knees.
heart:The
heart:pounding
heart:rhythm
heart:has
heart:slowed
heart:and it
heart:draws
heart:towards
heart:its
heart:softer
heart:climax.
heart:As
heart:it
heart:hits
heart:one
heart:long,
heart:lingering
heart:moment
heart:of
heart:silence,
heart:I
heart:sink
heart:forward,
heart:onto
heart:my
heart:hands
heart:and
heart:knees,
heart:and,
heart:finally,
heart:down
heart:onto
heart:my
heart:face,
heart:the
heart:very
heart:picture
heart:of
heart:a
heart:man
heart:exhausted
heart:by
heart:the
heart:pleasure
heart:he has
heart:had
heart:or
heart:of
heart:a
heart:boy,
heart:overwhelmed
heart:by
heart:feelings
heart:he
heart:cannot
heart:control.
heart:The
heart:stage
heart:goes
heart:dark,
heart:and
heart:I am
heart:quick
heart:to
heart:scuttle
heart:offstage,
heart:even
heart:as
heart:thunderous
heart:applause
heart:replaces
heart:the
heart:pounding
heart:beat.
heart:I
heart:do
heart:not
heart:like
heart:to
heart:wait
heart:in
heart:the
heart:dark
heart:for
heart:their
heart:questing
heart:paws,
heart:even
heart:when
heart:they are
heart:filled
heart:with
heart:money.
heart:Many
heart:of
heart:the
heart:other
heart:dancers
heart:let
heart:the
heart:customers
heart:push
heart:money
heart:into
heart:the
heart:straps
heart:of
heart:their
heart:stringy
heart:costumes,
heart:but
heart:I
heart:do
heart:not
heart:relish
heart:the
heart:feeling
heart:of
heart:it.
heart:I
heart:am
heart:not
heart:a
heart:whore,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:have
heart:some
heart:pride.
heart:I
heart:will
heart:let
heart:them
heart:want
heart:me,
heart:but
heart:I
heart:will
heart:not
heart:let them
heart:touch
heart:me.
As
I
heart:flee
heart:off-stage,
heart:I am
heart:greeted
heart:by
heart:Louis,
heart:who
heart:grasps
heart:my
heart:wrist
heart:and
heart:pulls
heart:me
heart:back
heart:on,
heart:much
heart:to
heart:my
heart:annoyance.
heart:Louis
heart:thinks I am
heart:too
heart:shy,
heart:and
heart:he
heart:likes
heart:to
heart:force
heart:me
heart:to
heart:have
heart:my
heart:moment
heart:in
heart:the
heart:spotlight.
heart:Louis
heart:also
heart:wants
heart:to
heart:fuck
heart:me,
heart:but
heart:I
heart:won't
heart:let
heart:him.
heart:The
heart:price
heart:for
heart:this
heart:is
heart:that
heart:he
heart:can
heart:do
heart:almost
heart:anything
heart:else
heart:with
heart:me
heart:he
heart:wishes,
heart:including
heart:dragging
heart:me
heart:back
heart:onstage,
heart:when
heart:what
heart:I
heart:would
heart:rather
heart:do
heart:is
heart:just
heart:go and
heart:be
heart:alone
heart:for
heart:a
heart:little
heart:while.
heart:The
heart:spotlights
heart:catch
heart:us
heart:as
heart:we
heart:return
heart:to
heart:the
heart:stage,
heart:and
heart:the
heart:calls
heart:come
heart:again.
heart:I
heart:can
heart:smell
heart:the
heart:audience's
heart:arousal,
heart:as
heart:thick
heart:as
heart:the
heart:smell
heart:of
heart:beer,
heart:and,
heart:for
heart:a
heart:moment,
heart:I am
heart:the
heart:one
heart:who is
heart:overwhelmed.
heart:It has
heart:been
heart:three
heart:years
heart:since
heart:my
heart:last
heart:real
heart:relationship,
heart:and
heart:it has
heart:been
heart:two
heart:months
heart:since
heart:I have
heart:had
heart:sex
heart:with
heart:anyone.
heart:Even
heart:I
heart:am
heart:not
heart:immune
heart:to
heart:the
heart:charms
heart:I
heart:weave,
heart:at
heart:times,
heart:and,
heart:at
heart:that
heart:moment,
heart:if
heart:Louis
heart:had
heart:asked,
heart:I
heart:would
heart:have
heart:relented.
heart:If
heart:the
heart:audience
heart:had
heart:demanded
heart:I
heart:come
heart:down
heart:and
heart:let
heart:them
heart:have
heart:me,
heart:I
heart:would've.
heart:It
heart:is
heart:a
heart:moment
heart:for
heart:the
heart:abandoning
heart:of
heart:morals,
heart:sense,
heart:and
heart:sanity,
heart:but,
heart:thankfully,
heart:it
heart:is
heart:only
heart:a
heart:moment,
heart:and
heart:it
heart:passes.
heart:I
heart:smile,
heart:demurely,
heart:and
heart:bow,
heart:once,
heart:then
heart:slip
heart:my
heart:wrist
heart:from
heart:Louis'
heart:grasp
heart:and
heart:vanish
heart:offstage.
My
vanishing
heart:is
heart:not
heart:well-received
heart:by
heart:the
heart:audience,
heart:and
heart:even
heart:less
heart:well
heart:by
heart:Louis,
heart:but
heart:they are
heart:both
heart:distracted
heart:by
heart:Disraeli,
heart:a
heart:beautiful
heart:young
heart:mink,
heart:who
heart:dances
heart:onstage
heart:to
heart:a
heart:pounding
heart:electronic
heart:drum.
heart:I am
heart:able
heart:to
heart:return
heart:to
heart:my
heart:dressing
heart:room
heart:in
heart:peace,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:sink
heart:into
heart:my
heart:chair,
heart:staring
heart:at
heart:the
heart:strange
heart:boy
heart:in
heart:the
heart:mirror
heart:for
heart:a
heart:moment
heart:before
heart:I
heart:recall
heart:that
heart:he's
heart:me.
heart:Otter
heart:whiskers
heart:trimmed
heart:slightly
heart:to
heart:enhance
heart:the
heart:youthfulness
heart:of
heart:the
heart:face,
heart:eyes
heart:ever-so-lightly
heart:dabbed
heart:with
heart:kohl
heart:to
heart:enhance
heart:how
heart:bright
heart:and
heart:green
heart:they
heart:are.
heart:My
heart:hair
heart:is
heart:naturally
heart:black,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:wear
heart:it
heart:cut
heart:close
heart:to
heart:my
heart:scalp,
heart:keeping
heart:it
heart:just
heart:long
heart:enough
heart:that
heart:it
heart:can
heart:fall
heart:in
heart:my
heart:eyes.
A
knock
heart:on
heart:my
heart:door
heart:turns
heart:out
heart:to
heart:be
heart:Louis. "You
heart:were
heart:incredible
heart:tonight,"
heart:he
heart:says.
I
flash
heart:him
heart:a
heart:winning
heart:smile. "You
heart:say
heart:that
heart:every
heart:night.
heart:One
heart:of
heart:these
heart:days,
heart:I
heart:might
heart:start
heart:believing
heart:it."
The
pudgy
heart:beaver
heart:smooths
heart:out
heart:his
heart:suit-front. "Everyone
heart:always
heart:wants
heart:you
heart:to
heart:stay
heart:onstage
heart:longer.
heart:Maybe
heart:we
heart:should
heart:have
heart:you
heart:do
heart:two
heart:numbers
heart:in
heart:each
heart:set."
I
stare
heart:in
heart:the
heart:mirror
heart:and
heart:dab
heart:away
heart:kohl. "Just
heart:remember
heart:what
heart:P.
heart:T.
heart:Barnum
heart:said.
heart:Always
heart:leave
heart:them
heart:wanting
heart:more."
He
scratches
heart:his
heart:chin. "He
heart:said
heart:that?"
I
shrug. "Someone
heart:said
heart:it.
heart:In
heart:any
heart:case,
heart:if
heart:you
heart:give
heart:them
heart:too
heart:much of
heart:me
heart:at
heart:once,
heart:they
heart:might
heart:not
heart:come
heart:back
heart:to
heart:the
heart:club a
heart:second
heart:time."
"Oh,
so
heart:now
heart:you're
heart:the
heart:club's
heart:biggest
heart:attraction?"
heart:he
heart:says
heart:with
heart:a
heart:chuckle.
I
smirk. "So
heart:you
heart:keep
heart:telling
heart:me."
He
glares
heart:at
heart:me
heart:a
heart:moment,
heart:then
heart:regains
heart:his
heart:composure. "You're really
heart:good
heart:kid,
heart:and
heart:damned
heart:sexy,
heart:and
heart:we
heart:both
heart:know
heart:it.
heart:I
heart:just
heart:wish
heart:you'd
heart:be
heart:a
heart:little
heart:nicer
heart:to
heart:some
heart:of
heart:the
heart:club's
heart:regulars."
heart:Neither
heart:of
heart:us
heart:say
heart:it,
heart:but
heart:we
heart:both
heart:understand
heart:that
heart:he
heart:includes
heart:himself
heart:in
heart:that
heart:statement.
"I'm
a
heart:dancer,"
heart:I
heart:say,
heart:softly. "I
heart:dance.
heart:If
heart:they
heart:want
heart:sex,
heart:they
heart:can
heart:go
heart:find
heart:a
heart:rent-boy.
heart:That's
heart:not
heart:my
heart:line
heart:of
heart:work." I
heart:go
heart:back
heart:to
heart:removing
heart:kohl. "I
heart:don't
heart:mind
heart:being
heart:stared
heart:at,
heart:drooled
heart:over,
heart:and
heart:dreamed
heart:about,
heart:but
heart:I
heart:don't
heart:want
heart:to
heart:be
heart:touched."
heart:I
heart:give
heart:him
heart:a
heart:sweet
heart:smile. "Not
heart:by
heart:anybody."
He's
about
heart:to
heart:retort,
heart:when
heart:there's
heart:another
heart:knock
heart:on
heart:the
heart:door.
heart:Its
heart:Charlie,
heart:my
heart:best
heart:friend
heart:at
heart:the
heart:club,
heart:and
heart:he's
heart:holding
heart:a
heart:huge
heart:bouquet
heart:of
heart:flowers.
heart:I
heart:stare
heart:at
heart:him. "They're
heart:for
heart:you,"
heart:he
heart:says,
heart:smiling,
heart:handing
heart:them
heart:to
heart:me. "Want
heart:me
heart:to
heart:get
heart:a
heart:vase?"
I
heart:get
heart:flowers
heart:from
heart:time
heart:to
heart:time.
heart:Invariably,
heart:they
heart:have
heart:notes
heart:attached
heart:that
heart:ask
heart:me
heart:for
heart:sex.
heart:I
heart:like
heart:the
heart:flowers,
heart:but
heart:the
heart:invitations
heart:spoil
heart:it.
heart:There's
heart:a
heart:small
heart:card
heart:on
heart:the
heart:flowers,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:open
heart:it. "You're
heart:magnificent,"
heart:the
heart:note
heart:says.
heart:Nothing
heart:else.
heart:No
heart:signature
heart:and
heart:no
heart:proposition.
heart:One
heart:tear
heart:tries
heart:to
heart:trickle
heart:down
heart:my
heart:right
heart:cheek,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:hurriedly
heart:swipe
heart:it
heart:away
heart:with
heart:a
heart:paw.
heart:I
heart:am
heart:a
heart:professional.
I
must
heart:walk
heart:a
heart:thin
heart:line
heart:between
heart:detachment
heart:and
heart:despair,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:cannot
heart:afford
heart:to
heart:let
heart:my
heart:emotions
heart:get
heart:away
heart:with
heart:me
heart:now.
heart:I
heart:nod at
heart:Charlie,
heart:about
heart:the
heart:vase,
heart:and
heart:hand
heart:the
heart:note
heart:to
heart:Louis.
"You
have
heart:a
heart:secret
heart:admirer,"
heart:he
heart:says,
heart:after
heart:reading
heart:the
heart:note.
"So
it
heart:seems,"
heart:I
heart:say, "which
heart:means
heart:that
heart:he
heart:must
heart:be
heart:butt-ugly."
"Or
married,"
heart:Louis
heart:chuckles.
On
the
heart:way
heart:out,
heart:for
heart:the
heart:night,
heart:Charlie
heart:walks
heart:with
heart:me,
heart:my
heart:faithful
heart:friend.
heart:He's
heart:pretty
heart:mellow,
heart:as
heart:wolves
heart:go,
heart:and
heart:straight,
heart:which
heart:is
heart:a
heart:shame,
heart:as
heart:he'd
heart:make
heart:someone
heart:a
heart:wonderful
heart:wife.
heart:I
heart:can
heart:flirt
heart:with
heart:Charlie,
heart:because
heart:I
heart:know
heart:he
heart:won't
heart:take
heart:it
heart:seriously.
heart:He
heart:runs
heart:the
heart:lighting
heart:for
heart:the
heart:club,
heart:and
heart:he
heart:always
heart:makes
heart:me
heart:look
heart:my
heart:best.
heart:He
heart:knows
heart:which
heart:shades
heart:of
heart:red
heart:and
heart:blue
heart:make
heart:me
heart:look
heart:beautiful,
heart:and
heart:he
heart:knows
heart:timing
heart:like
heart:no
heart:one
heart:else.
heart:I
heart:wrap
heart:my
heart:arm
heart:in
heart:his,
heart:and
heart:he
heart:pats
heart:it,
heart:gently.
heart:He
heart:walks
heart:me
heart:home
heart:some
heart:nights.
heart:He's
heart:a
heart:good
heart:friend. "Who
heart:do
heart:you
heart:think
heart:sent
heart:the
heart:flowers?"
heart:he
heart:asks.
I
shrug. "Some
heart:fat,
heart:drunken
heart:ocelot,
heart:for
heart:all
heart:I
heart:know
heart:or
heart:care. I'm
heart:not
heart:ready
heart:to
heart:jump back
heart:into
heart:the
heart:game;
heart:I've
heart:been all
heart:through
heart:that,
heart:and
heart:I've
heart:had
heart:my
heart:fill
heart:of
heart:that
heart:kind
heart:of
heart:hurt."
"You
still
heart:miss
heart:him,
heart:don't
heart:you?"
heart:My
heart:hand
heart:strays
heart:up
heart:to
heart:the
heart:glass
heart:heart
heart:I
heart:wear,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:nod,
heart:feeling
heart:another
heart:traitor
heart:tear
heart:threatening
heart:to
heart:form. "He
heart:loved
heart:to
heart:watch
heart:you
heart:dance,
heart:more
heart:than
heart:anything."
I
sigh,
heart:softly. "Yes,
heart:he
heart:really
heart:did.
heart:But
heart:he's
heart:gone,
heart:and
heart:nothing's
heart:going
heart:to
heart:bring
heart:him
heart:back."
There's
a
heart:long
heart:silence
heart:between
heart:us,
heart:but
heart:it
heart:isn't
heart:really
heart:uncomfortable.
heart:Charlie
heart:is
heart:someone
heart:I
heart:can
heart:just
heart:be
heart:with;
heart:I
heart:don't
heart:feel
heart:the
heart:need
heart:to
heart:entertain
heart:him.
heart:A
heart:silence,
heart:with
heart:him,
heart:descends
heart:when
heart:there is
heart:nothing
heart:needing
heart:to
heart:be
heart:said.
heart:He
heart:also
heart:watches
heart:me
heart:dance
heart:for
heart:the
heart:dancing,
heart:which
heart:only
heart:one
heart:other
heart:person
heart:ever
heart:did.
He breaks
the
heart:silence. "Its
heart:been
heart:a
heart:long
heart:time."
heart:I
heart:blink
heart:at
heart:him,
heart:uncertain
heart:exactly
heart:what
heart:he
heart:means. "Since
heart:Derek."
I
nod. "Three
heart:years
heart:last
heart:month."
He
nods.
heart:More
heart:silence,
heart:until
heart:we
heart:reach
heart:the
heart:stoop
heart:of
heart:my
heart:apartment
heart:building. "Whatever
heart:happened
heart:to
heart:what's-his-name?
heart:You
heart:know,
heart:that
heart:cute
heart:raccoon?"
"Carl?"
"Yeah,
him."
"We
broke
heart:up.
heart:He
heart:didn't
heart:like
heart:it
heart:when
heart:I
heart:refused
heart:to
heart:stop
heart:dancing
heart:for
heart:him."
"Shit.
When
heart:was
heart:this?"
heart:I
heart:smirk
heart:and
heart:raise
heart:an
heart:eyebrow.
"Two
months
heart:ago."
"No
shit!
heart:Really?
heart:That
heart:long?"
I
nod. "That
heart:long."
"And
there
heart:hasn't
heart:been
heart:anyone
heart:since?"
I
flash
heart:him
heart:a
heart:smile. "I'm
heart:saving
heart:myself
heart:for
heart:when
heart:you
heart:go
heart:gay."
He
grins. "Well,
heart:then
heart:I'd
heart:better
heart:hurry
heart:up
heart:and
heart:do
heart:it.
heart:You're
heart:too
heart:good
heart:to
heart:waste."
"You're
going
heart:fag
heart:tonight
heart:then,
heart:are
heart:you?"
He
laughs. "Only
heart:for
heart:you,
heart:sexy
heart:boy.
heart:Quick!
heart:Invite
heart:me
heart:upstairs
heart:before
heart:I
heart:change
heart:my
heart:mind."
I
smile. "Want to
heart:come
heart:upstairs,
heart:Charlie?"
He
laughs,
heart:then
heart:realizes
heart:I'm
heart:not
heart:laughing. "If
heart:I
heart:were
heart:gay,
heart:I'd
heart:go
heart:with
heart:you
heart:in
heart:a
heart:heartbeat.
heart:I
heart:love
heart:you,
heart:kid.
heart:But
heart:you
heart:need
heart:someone
heart:a
heart:little
heart:more
heart:interested
heart:in
heart:your
heart:body
heart:than
heart:me."
heart:He
heart:hugs
heart:me,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:hug
heart:back,
heart:feeling
heart:no
heart:pain.
heart:I
heart:might
heart:be
heart:serious
heart:about
heart:my
heart:invite;
heart:I
heart:might
heart:not
heart:be.
"You're
the
heart:best,
heart:Charlie,"
heart:I
heart:whisper.
heart:I
heart:kiss
heart:his
heart:cheek
heart:and
heart:head
heart:upstairs,
heart:into
heart:my
heart:apartment.
One
bath
heart:and
heart:a
heart:cup
heart:of
heart:hot
heart:cocoa
heart:with
heart:peppermint
heart:schnapps
heart:later,
heart:I'm
heart:going
heart:over
heart:my
heart:photo
heart:album,
heart:looking
heart:at
heart:pictures
heart:of
heart:Derek.
heart:He
heart:was
heart:wonderfully
heart:alive
heart:and
heart:so
heart:fantastically
heart:glad
heart:to
heart:be
heart:so
heart:that
heart:it
heart:made
heart:me
heart:feel
heart:alive.
heart:Derek
heart:was
heart:the
heart:one
heart:who
heart:had
heart:encouraged
heart:me
heart:to
heart:dance,
heart:and
heart:the
heart:one
heart:who
heart:made
heart:me
heart:feel
heart:loved,
heart:safe,
heart:and
heart:sexy.
heart:I had
heart:happily
heart:given
heart:him
heart:my
heart:virginity,
heart:and
heart:he'd
heart:always
heart:been
heart:the
heart:best
heart:of
heart:lovers,
heart:caring,
heart:careful,
heart:compassionate,
heart:and
heart:as
heart:gentle
heart:as
heart:a
heart:soft
heart:summer
heart:rain.
heart:And,
heart:in
heart:the
heart:end,
heart:it
heart:hadn't
heart:been
heart:AIDS
heart:or
heart:gay-bashers
heart:that
heart:had
heart:killed
heart:him,
heart:but
heart:a
heart:simple
heart:accident
heart:with
heart:a
heart:hit-and-run
heart:driver.
heart:I
heart:trace
heart:my
heart:fingers
heart:over
heart:the
heart:photo
heart:of
heart:the
heart:two
heart:of
heart:us
heart:at
heart:the
heart:beach,
heart:our
heart:first
heart:summer
heart:together.
heart:I'm eighteen
heart:in
heart:the
heart:photo,
heart:and
heart:Derek
heart:is
heart:twenty.
heart:His
heart:right
heart:ear
heart:is
heart:perked,
heart:while
heart:the
heart:left
heart:one
heart:hangs
heart:in
heart:the
heart:lazy
heart:way
heart:I
heart:loved
heart:so
heart:well.
heart:I
heart:trace
heart:his
heart:handsome
heart:husky
heart:markings,
heart:remembering
heart:nights
heart:in
heart:the
heart:sand
heart:of
heart:the
heart:beach,
heart:making
heart:gentle
heart:love
heart:under
heart:the
heart:stars.
heart:A
heart:droplet
heart:of
heart:water
heart:hits
heart:the
heart:surface of
heart:the
heart:photo,
heart:and
heart:I am
heart:surprised
heart:to
heart:realize
heart:that
heart:a
heart:third
heart:tear
heart:has
heart:managed
heart:to
heart:escape
heart:me
heart:tonight.
I
clench
heart:my
heart:eyes
heart:tightly
heart:closed,
heart:forcing
heart:my
heart:emotions
heart:back
heart:into
heart:their
heart:bottle. I
heart:do
heart:not
heart:know
heart:why
heart:the
heart:flowers
heart:have
heart:hit
heart:me
heart:so
heart:hard
heart:tonight,
heart:but
heart:I
heart:am
heart:not
heart:going
heart:to
heart:lose
heart:a
heart:battle
heart:I
heart:have
heart:fought
heart:for
heart:three
heart:years.
heart:I
heart:go
heart:to
heart:the
heart:bathroom,
heart:splash
heart:water
heart:on
heart:my
heart:face,
heart:and
heart:walk
heart:towards
heart:my
heart:bedroom.
On
the
heart:way,
heart:I
heart:pass
heart:the
heart:ballet
heart:slippers,
heart:hanging
heart:from
heart:a
heart:nail
heart:on
heart:the
heart:wall,
heart:tied
heart:there
heart:by
heart:their
heart:laces.
heart:I
heart:caress
heart:them,
heart:fondly,
heart:and
heart:slowly
heart:unravel
heart:the
heart:knot
heart:that
heart:holds
heart:them
heart:in
heart:place.
heart:These
heart:slippers
heart:are
heart:the
heart:nice,
heart:professional
heart:ones
heart:that
heart:my
heart:father
heart:bought
heart:me
heart:for
heart:my
heart:first
heart:big
heart:high
heart:school
heart:recital.
heart:Magic
heart:slippers,
heart:he
heart:told
heart:me,
heart:that
heart:would
heart:make
heart:sure
heart:I
heart:didn't
heart:miss
heart:any
heart:steps.
heart:They
heart:cost
heart:him
heart:a
heart:good
heart:chunk
heart:of
heart:money,
heart:but
heart:he
heart:always
heart:told
heart:me
heart:the
heart:smile
heart:on
heart:my
heart:face
heart:when
heart:I
heart:saw
heart:them
heart:was
heart:more
heart:than
heart:repayment
heart:enough.
heart:That
heart:smile
heart:lasted
heart:all
heart:through
heart:the
heart:recital
heart:and
heart:for
heart:days
heart:afterwards.
heart:I
heart:lost
heart:that
heart:smile
heart:when
heart:I
heart:had
heart:to
heart:leave
heart:home
heart:after
heart:my
heart:father
heart:found
heart:out
heart:I
heart:was
heart:gay,
heart:but
heart:I
heart:kept
heart:the
heart:shoes.
heart:Derek
heart:gave
heart:me
heart:back
heart:that
heart:smile,
heart:years
heart:later,
heart:but
heart:I
heart:lost
heart:it
heart:again
heart:when
heart:he
heart:died.
heart:I
heart:don't
heart:know
heart:if
heart:I will
heart:ever
heart:find
heart:it
heart:again.
I
think
heart:back
heart:on
heart:my
heart:father,
heart:as
heart:I
heart:carry
heart:the
heart:shoes
heart:to
heart:the
heart:chair
heart:by
heart:the
heart:table.
heart:I
heart:haven't
heart:seen
heart:him
heart:in
heart:six
heart:years,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:wonder
heart:if
heart:he is
heart:still
heart:alive.
heart:I
heart:hope
heart:to
heart:God
heart:he
heart:never
heart:sees
heart:what
heart:those
heart:ballet
heart:lessons
heart:he
heart:paid
heart:for
heart:have
heart:come
heart:to;
heart:I
heart:think
heart:it
heart:would
heart:kill
heart:him.
heart:I
heart:hated
heart:my
heart:father
heart:for
heart:throwing
heart:me
heart:out
heart:of
heart:the
heart:house,
heart:years
heart:ago,
heart:but
heart:I
heart:can't
heart:hate
heart:him
heart:any more.
heart:If
heart:he
heart:hadn't,
heart:I
heart:never
heart:would've
heart:met
heart:Derek.
heart:I
heart:was
heart:starving,
heart:scared,
heart:and
heart:homeless,
heart:but
heart:he
heart:took
heart:me
heart:in
heart:and
heart:saw
heart:something
heart:deep
heart:inside
heart:me. "Home
heart:is
heart:where
heart:the
heart:heart
heart:is,"
heart:Derek
heart:told
heart:me
heart:one
heart:night,
heart:holding
heart:me
heart:when
heart:I
heart:woke
heart:up
heart:crying
heart:and
heart:homesick.
heart:My
heart:heart
heart:is
heart:still
heart:with
heart:Derek,
heart:but
heart:I
heart:cannot
heart:go
heart:home
heart:again.
heart:I
heart:try
heart:the
heart:shoes
heart:on,
heart:and
heart:I am
heart:surprised
heart:to
heart:find
heart:that they
heart:still
heart:fit.
heart:I
heart:stand
heart:and
heart:touch
heart:Derek's
heart:photo
heart:one
heart:last
heart:time.
heart:I
heart:click
heart:the
heart:heels
heart:of
heart:my
heart:magic
heart:slippers
heart:together,
heart:three
heart:times,
heart:and
heart:whisper, "There's
heart:no
heart:place
heart:like
heart:home."
heart:I
heart:shut
heart:the
heart:lights,
heart:walk
heart:to
heart:my
heart:bedroom,
heart:and
heart:lie
heart:down,
heart:the
heart:slippers
heart:still
heart:snug
heart:on
heart:my
heart:paws.
heart:This
heart:time,
heart:when
heart:the
heart:tears
heart:come,
heart:they are a
heart:flood,
heart:and I
heart:do
heart:not
heart:try
heart:to
heart:stop
heart:them.
The
next
heart:night,
heart:I
heart:dance
heart:again,
heart:and
heart:my
heart:heart
heart:has
heart:been
heart:carefully
heart:emptied
heart:of
heart:tears
heart:where
heart:no
heart:one
heart:else
heart:can
heart:see.
heart:I
heart:can
heart:feel
heart:it
heart:rising
heart:off
heart:of
heart:my
heart:chestfur,
heart:then
heart:falling
heart:back
heart:to
heart:it,
heart:rhythmically
heart:slapping
heart:around
heart:as
heart:I
heart:dance.
heart:I
heart:do
heart:not
heart:miss
heart:a
heart:step,
heart:but
heart:my
heart:heart
heart:and
heart:mind
heart:are
heart:still
heart:with
heart:Derek,
heart:remembering
heart:the
heart:shine
heart:in
heart:his
heart:eyes
heart:when
heart:he
heart:gave
heart:me
heart:the
heart:heart,
heart:asking
heart:me
heart:to
heart:stay
heart:with
heart:him
heart:forever.
heart:I
heart:remember
heart:his
heart:eyes
heart:being
heart:as
heart:clear
heart:as
heart:the
heart:glass
heart:heart
heart:he
heart:gave
heart:me,
heart:that
heart:he
heart:put
heart:around
heart:my
heart:neck
heart:himself.
heart:I
heart:remember
heart:how
heart:he
heart:watched
heart:me
heart:when
heart:I
heart:danced,
heart:not
heart:lusting
heart:for
heart:me,
heart:but
heart:just
heart:loving
heart:me.
heart:I
heart:struggle
heart:to
heart:keep
heart:my
heart:heart
heart:empty,
heart:but
heart:Derek
heart:keeps
heart:slipping
heart:into
heart:it,
heart:making
heart:me
heart:ache
heart:inside.
heart:But
heart:I am
heart:a
heart:professional,
heart:and
heart:when
heart:I
heart:dance,
heart:I
heart:keep
heart:my
heart:feet
heart:light.
heart:I
heart:dance
heart:for
heart:Derek,
heart:even
heart:as
heart:the
heart:pain
heart:of
heart:him
heart:slashes
heart:at
heart:my
heart:soul.
I
leave
heart:the
heart:stage
heart:when
heart:the
heart:lights
heart:release
heart:me,
heart:and
heart:this
heart:time
heart:I
heart:pull
heart:my
heart:wrist
heart:out
heart:of
heart:Louis'
heart:grasp
heart:before
heart:he
heart:can
heart:tighten
heart:it.
heart:I
heart:don't
heart:want
heart:to
heart:see
heart:anyone
heart:tonight,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:don't
heart:want
heart:to
heart:be
heart:applauded.
heart:I
heart:just
heart:want
heart:to
heart:be
heart:left
heart:alone.
heart:Louis
heart:comes
heart:back
heart:to
heart:my
heart:dressing
heart:room,
heart:and
heart:he
heart:talks
heart:at
heart:me.
heart:I'm
heart:not
heart:hearing
heart:his
heart:words,
heart:but
heart:I
heart:can
heart:tell
heart:he's
heart:upset.
heart:I
heart:stare
heart:numbly
heart:at
heart:the
heart:stranger
heart:in
heart:the
heart:mirror,
heart:wishing
heart:Louis
heart:would
heart:just
heart:stop
heart:talking
heart:and
heart:go
heart:away.
heart:Suddenly
heart:his
heart:hand
heart:touches
heart:my
heart:shoulder. "You
heart:okay?"
heart:he asks. "You
heart:look
heart:sort of
heart:sick..."
I
reach
heart:up
heart:and
heart:pat
heart:his
heart:hand. "I'm
heart:okay,"
heart:I
heart:tell
heart:him. "I
heart:just
heart:had
heart:a
heart:bad
heart:night
heart:last
heart:night
heart:is
heart:all."
"A
bad...?"
heart:he
heart:begins,
heart:but
heart:Charlie's
heart:knock
heart:stops
heart:him.
"More
flowers,"
heart:he
heart:says, "but
heart:this
heart:time,
heart:there
heart:was
heart:someone
heart:attached
heart:to
heart:them.
heart:He
heart:asked
heart:me
heart:to
heart:give
heart:them
heart:to
heart:you,
heart:but
heart:he
heart:wouldn't
heart:give
heart:his
heart:name."
I
turned
heart:to
heart:look
heart:at
heart:Charlie's
heart:face,
heart:and
heart:my
heart:mask
heart:goes
heart:up. "Was
heart:he cute?"
He
grins. "Not
heart:like
heart:you."
"Flatterer.
What
heart:did
heart:he
heart:look
heart:like?"
Charlie
hands
heart:me
heart:the
heart:flowers
heart:and
heart:sketches
heart:in
heart:the
heart:air
heart:with
heart:his
heart:hands. "About
heart:this
heart:tall,"
heart:he
heart:says,
heart:making
heart:a motion
heart:about
heart:six
heart:feet
heart:off
heart:the
heart:floor, "and
heart:about
heart:this
heart:wide."
heart:He
heart:mimes
heart:the
heart:proportions
heart:of
heart:a
heart:broad-shouldered
heart:man
heart:with
heart:a
heart:fairly
heart:overweight
heart:or
heart:solid
heart:build.
heart:I
heart:watch
heart:him,
heart:filling
heart:my
heart:nose
heart:with
heart:the
heart:smell
heart:of
heart:the
heart:flowers. "He
heart:looked
heart:like
heart:he
heart:was
heart:in
heart:his
heart:forties.
heart:Some
heart:kind
heart:of
heart:boxer or
heart:bulldog.
heart:No
heart:wedding
heart:ring."
heart:I
heart:smile.
heart:Nice of
heart:Charlie
heart:to
heart:check. "Dark
heart:eyes.
heart:Pretty
heart:good-looking.
heart:Smells
heart:like
heart:money,
heart:too;
heart:tipped
heart:me a
heart:hundred-dollar
heart:bill
heart:to
heart:make
heart:sure
heart:you
heart:got
heart:the
heart:flowers
heart:personally."
I
pluck
heart:off
heart:the
heart:little
heart:envelope
heart:and
heart:put
heart:the
heart:flowers
heart:with
heart:the
heart:others
heart:in
heart:the
heart:same
heart:vase. "Did
heart:he
heart:want
heart:to
heart:meet
heart:me?"
Charlie
shakes
heart:his
heart:head. "No,
heart:but
heart:he
heart:asked
heart:if
heart:you'd
heart:be
heart:dancing
heart:again
heart:tomorrow
heart:night."
I
pull
heart:out
heart:the
heart:card. "You
heart:were
heart:even
heart:more
heart:magnificent
heart:tonight.
heart:Will
heart:you
heart:dance
heart:for
heart:me
heart:tomorrow?"
Charlie
walks
heart:me
heart:home
heart:again. "Are
heart:you
heart:going
heart:to
heart:meet
heart:this
heart:guy?"
I
shrug. "I
heart:don't
heart:know.
heart:I
heart:suppose
heart:that's
heart:up
heart:to
heart:him."
"No,
no.
heart:I
heart:mean,
heart:if
heart:he
heart:asks
heart:you
heart:out,
heart:will
heart:you
heart:go
heart:with
heart:him?"
"Don't
know.
heart:Maybe."
Charlie
nods,
heart:and
heart:we
heart:walk
heart:silently
heart:together.
heart:A
heart:block
heart:before
heart:my
heart:house
heart:he
heart:says, "I
heart:think
heart:you
heart:should."
heart:I arch
heart:an
heart:eyebrow
heart:at him. "I
heart:worry
heart:about
heart:you,
heart:kiddo.
heart:You've
heart:been
heart:alone
heart:too
heart:long,
heart:and
heart:a
heart:guy
heart:as
heart:sweet
heart:as
heart:you
heart:deserves
heart:someone
heart:nice
heart:to
heart:take
heart:care
heart:of
heart:him.
heart:Maybe
heart:this
heart:guy
heart:could
heart:be
heart:the
heart:one
heart:for
heart:you?"
I
stop
heart:and
heart:shake
heart:my
heart:head. "Derek
heart:was the one for me, Charlie. I'm not ever
heart:going
heart:to
heart:love
heart:anyone
heart:like
heart:that
heart:again.
heart:I
heart:know,
heart:I
heart:know,"
heart:I
heart:say,
heart:forestalling
heart:him
heart:as
heart:he
heart:begins
heart:to
heart:protest. "Derek
heart:wouldn't
heart:want
heart:me
heart:to
heart:be
heart:alone,
heart:and
heart:he
heart:would
heart:want
heart:me
heart:to
heart:be
heart:happy.
heart:But
heart:I
heart:don't
heart:really
heart:want
heart:anyone
heart:else.
heart:Sure,
heart:I'll
heart:get
heart:laid
heart:from
heart:time
heart:to
heart:time,
heart:because
heart:my
heart:body
heart:needs
heart:it,
heart:but
heart:love?
heart:No,
heart:I
heart:think
heart:I'm
heart:done
heart:with
heart:love."
He
takes
heart:my
heart:hand
heart:and
heart:squeezes
heart:it. "Hey,
heart:I
heart:still
heart:love
heart:you,
heart:kid."
I
smile. "I
heart:love
heart:you,
heart:too,
heart:Charlie,
heart:but
heart:you
heart:know
heart:what
heart:I
heart:mean."
heart:I
heart:release
heart:his
heart:hand,
heart:gently
heart:withdrawing
heart:my
heart:paw. "I'll
heart:be
heart:with
heart:Derek
heart:again,
heart:someday.
heart:Til
heart:then,
heart:I
heart:can
heart:wait."
We
walk
heart:along,
heart:but
heart:we
heart:don't
heart:stop
heart:at
heart:my
heart:place.
heart:We
heart:just
heart:keep
heart:going. "Do
heart:you
heart:have
heart:any
heart:dreams,
heart:Charlie?"
heart:I
heart:ask,
heart:at
heart:last.
"Course
I
heart:do.
heart:I
heart:want
heart:to
heart:find
heart:a
heart:nice
heart:girl,
heart:marry,
heart:have
heart:kids,
heart:become
heart:filthy
heart:rich,
heart:and
heart:buy
heart:a
heart:small
heart:Caribbean
heart:island
heart:to
heart:settle
heart:down
heart:on."
I
giggle. "You'd
heart:be
heart:a
heart:great
heart:Mom."
He
smiles,
heart:getting
heart:a
heart:faraway
heart:look
heart:in
heart:his
heart:eyes. "Yeah,
heart:I
heart:love
heart:kids,
heart:and..."
heart:He
heart:eyes
heart:me. "Waitasec.
heart:What
heart:did
heart:you
heart:mean
heart:by
heart:that?"
I
giggle
heart:again. "Nothing."
"I
am
heart:not
heart:being
heart:motherly
heart:at
heart:you.
heart:I'm
heart:just
heart:a
heart:concerned
heart:friend."
"Sure.
I
heart:know."
heart:I
heart:give
heart:him
heart:a
heart:hug.
We
walk
heart:another
heart:block
heart:before
heart:he
heart:asks, "What
heart:about
heart:you?"
"As
a
heart:Mom?"
"No,
goof.
heart:Dreams."
I
nod. "I'd
heart:like
heart:to
heart:be
heart:Nijinsky."
"Who?"
"He
was
heart:a
heart:ballet
heart:dancer.
heart:Russian,
heart:I
heart:think.
heart:He
heart:was
heart:world-famous,
heart:at
heart:one
heart:point.
heart:Gay,
heart:too,
heart:I
heart:believe.
heart:But
heart:they
heart:say
heart:that
heart:when
heart:he
heart:danced,
heart:he
heart:could
heart:fly."
He
smiles. "So
heart:do
heart:you."
I
shake
heart:my
heart:head. "Not
heart:like
heart:him."
heart:I
heart:close
heart:my
heart:eyes,
heart:my
heart:arm
heart:linked in
heart:his,
heart:as
heart:if
heart:we
heart:were
heart:an
heart:old
heart:couple. "I
heart:want
heart:to
heart:fly.
heart:But
heart:every
heart:time
heart:I
heart:get
heart:close,
heart:something
heart:happens."
heart:We
heart:walk
heart:a
heart:few
heart:steps
heart:in
heart:silence. "Do
heart:you
heart:ever
heart:dream
heart:of
heart:flying?"
He
nods. "At
heart:night,
heart:sometimes.
heart:But
heart:I
heart:always
heart:end
heart:up
heart:falling,
heart:and
heart:it
heart:wakes
heart:me
heart:up."
"Sometimes,"
I
heart:whisper, "I
heart:think
heart:that
heart:the
heart:only
heart:way
heart:to
heart:fly
heart:is
heart:to
heart:fall.
heart:Like
heart:Icarus.
heart:Into
heart:the
heart:sea."
The
next
heart:night,
heart:I
heart:walk
heart:through
heart:the
heart:audience
heart:before
heart:the
heart:show,
heart:but
heart:I
heart:don't
heart:see
heart:anyone
heart:matching
heart:Charlie's
heart:description. "Cold
heart:feet?"
heart:I
heart:ask
heart:the
heart:air,
heart:sighing
heart:silently,
heart:and
heart:walk
heart:backstage.
I
rarely
heart:watch
heart:the
heart:other
heart:dancers,
heart:but,
heart:tonight,
heart:I
heart:do.
heart:They
heart:make
heart:me
heart:cringe
heart:with
heart:their
heart:crude
heart:motions
heart:and
heart:obvious
heart:sexual
heart:plays
heart:on
heart:the
heart:crowd.
heart:Tonight,
heart:many
heart:of
heart:them
heart:will
heart:go
heart:home
heart:with
heart:patrons
heart:of
heart:the
heart:club,
heart:accept
heart:some
heart:money, ("a
heart:gift,
heart:not
heart:a
heart:fee,
heart:of
heart:course,")
heart:and
heart:slink
heart:home
heart:in
heart:the
heart:predawn,
heart:with
heart:no
heart:qualms.
heart:I
heart:can't
heart:do
heart:that.
heart:I
heart:have
heart:too
heart:much
heart:pride,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:love
heart:Derek
heart:too much.
I
dance
heart:without
heart:any
heart:difficulty,
heart:but
heart:also
heart:without
heart:real
heart:passion.
heart:I am
heart:just
heart:dancing,
heart:for
heart:myself,
heart:and
heart:for
heart:Derek,
heart:as
heart:always.
heart:I
heart:notice
heart:a
heart:bulldog
heart:watching
heart:me,
heart:smiling,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:can
heart:guess
heart:that
heart:its
heart:the
heart:one
heart:Charlie
heart:mentioned.
heart:He's
heart:handsome,
heart:and
heart:very
heart:well-dressed.
heart:I
heart:flash
heart:him
heart:a
heart:smile,
heart:which
heart:he
heart:returns.
heart:Maybe,
heart:I
heart:think
heart:to
heart:myself,
heart:I
heart:owe
heart:myself
heart:a
heart:night
heart:out.
Later,
after
heart:my
heart:song
heart:has
heart:died
heart:away
heart:and
heart:the
heart:club has
heart:closed,
heart:I
heart:walk
heart:out
heart:the
heart:staff
heart:entrance
heart:with
heart:Charlie.
heart:The
heart:bulldog
heart:is
heart:there,
heart:waiting
heart:with
heart:an
heart:armful
heart:of
heart:flowers. "Excuse
heart:me,"
heart:he
heart:says,
heart:in
heart:a
heart:deep
heart:voice. "I
heart:hope
heart:I am
heart:not
heart:presuming,
heart:but
heart:I'd
heart:like
heart:to
heart:invite
heart:you
heart:to
heart:dinner."
heart:Charlie
heart:looks
heart:at
heart:me,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:nod,
heart:as
heart:much
heart:to
heart:him
heart:as
heart:to
heart:the
heart:bulldog.
heart:He
heart:offers
heart:me
heart:his
heart:arm,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:take
heart:it,
heart:not
heart:entirely
heart:sure
heart:where
heart:the
heart:evening
heart:will
heart:go.
heart:Charlie
heart:waves me
heart:goodbye as I am led
heart:away,
heart:towards
heart:a
heart:real
heart:honest-to-goodness
heart:limousine.
heart:The
heart:bulldog
heart:helps
heart:me
heart:inside
heart:and
heart:gets
heart:in
heart:next
heart:to
heart:me.
heart:He
heart:says
heart:the
heart:name
heart:of
heart:a
heart:fancy
heart:hotel
heart:to
heart:his
heart:driver,
heart:and
heart:we
heart:speed
heart:away.
"Champagne?"
"I...certainly."
He
pours
heart:us each a
heart:glass,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:sip
heart:mine,
heart:watching
heart:the night-dark
heart:city slip
heart:by
heart:behind
heart:tinted
heart:windows. "I
heart:have
heart:to
heart:admit,
heart:Mr...um..."
"Please,"
he
heart:says, "call
heart:me
heart:Tyrone."
"Okay,
Tyrone.
heart:I
heart:have
heart:to
heart:admit
heart:I'm
heart:not
heart:sure
heart:why
heart:I
heart:decided
heart:to
heart:come
heart:with
heart:you
heart:tonight.
heart:I
heart:can't
heart:promise
heart:you
heart:I'll
heart:be
heart:willing
heart:to
heart:do
heart:anything
heart:after
heart:dinner."
He
shrugs. "That
heart:is
heart:inconsequential.
heart:I
heart:admire
heart:your
heart:dancing
heart:and
heart:desired
heart:the
heart:pleasure
heart:of
heart:your
heart:company.
heart:Whatever
heart:else
heart:will
heart:happen,
heart:will
heart:happen.
heart:I
heart:do
heart:find
heart:you
heart:very
heart:attractive."
"Thank
you."
"But
I
heart:did
heart:not
heart:ask
heart:you
heart:to
heart:dinner
heart:because
heart:you are
heart:attractive.
heart:I
heart:asked
heart:you
heart:out
heart:because
heart:you're
heart:one
heart:of
heart:the
heart:most
heart:amazing
heart:dancers
heart:I've
heart:ever
heart:seen."
"Again,
thank
heart:you,
heart:but
heart:you'll
heart:forgive
heart:me
heart:if
heart:I
heart:find
heart:it
heart:hard
heart:to
heart:believe
heart:that
heart:you
heart:asked
heart:me
heart:out
heart:just
heart:to talk."
He
smiles. "Well,
heart:I'll
heart:admit
heart:that
heart:I
heart:wouldn't
heart:mind
heart:if
heart:this
heart:evening
heart:ended
heart:with
heart:us
heart:in
heart:bed,
heart:but
heart:I
heart:won't
heart:beg."
I
chuckle.
heart:He's
heart:funny.
heart:I
heart:like
heart:him. "Is
heart:the
heart:food
heart:good
heart:at
heart:your
heart:hotel?"
He
nods. "Its
heart:five
heart:stars at the
heart:hotel
heart:restaurant."
"Could
we
heart:take
heart:dinner
heart:in
heart:your
heart:room
heart:instead?"
He
looks
heart:at
heart:me,
heart:a
heart:slightly
heart:bemused
heart:smile
heart:on
heart:his
heart:lips. "I
heart:thought
heart:you
heart:weren't
heart:going
heart:to
heart:guarantee
heart:anything."
"I'm
not,
heart:but
heart:I
heart:don't
heart:really
heart:enjoy
heart:eating
heart:in
heart:restaurants
heart:all
heart:that
heart:much."
We
take
heart:the
heart:elevator
heart:to
heart:his
heart:hotel
heart:room,
heart:which
heart:turns
heart:out
heart:to
heart:be
heart:a
heart:penthouse
heart:suite.
heart:We
heart:order
heart:food
heart:up,
heart:and,
heart:over
heart:lobster
heart:thermidor,
heart:brandied
heart:truffles,
heart:delicately
heart:creamed
heart:white
heart:asparagus,
heart:and
heart:more
heart:champagne,
heart:we
heart:chat
heart:amiably,
heart:as
heart:if
heart:we
heart:were
heart:old
heart:friends.
heart:All
heart:through
heart:dinner,
heart:I
heart:study
heart:him;
heart:he
heart:is
heart:attractive,
heart:if
heart:a
heart:bit
heart:older
heart:than
heart:I am
heart:used
heart:to
heart:in
heart:a
heart:dinner
heart:companion.
heart:He
heart:has
heart:an
heart:air
heart:of
heart:cultivated
heart:elegance, and
heart:I
heart:feel
heart:a
heart:tiny
heart:bit
heart:tawdry
heart:in
heart:these
heart:luxurious
heart:rooms.
heart:He
heart:asks
heart:many
heart:questions.
"Is
Sylvan your
heart:given name?"
"Yes, though I'm
the
heart:one who
heart:gave
heart:it
heart:to
heart:me."
He
laughs
heart:at
heart:this. "What's
heart:your
heart:real
heart:name?"
"Does it
matter?"
"I
suppose
heart:not.
heart:Do
heart:you
heart:like
heart:dancing
heart:at
heart:the
heart:club?"
"I
love
heart:to
heart:dance.
heart:Period.
heart:The
heart:club
heart:pays
heart:well
heart:enough."
"Are
you
heart:gay?"
"Do
you
heart:really
heart:have
heart:to
heart:ask?"
"Just
curious.
heart:Setting
heart:things
heart:straight,
heart:as
heart:it
heart:were.
heart:Do
heart:you
heart:have
heart:a
heart:boyfriend?"
"I...
Yes.
heart:Well,
heart:no,
heart:actually.
heart:He
heart:passed
heart:away."
"Oh,
I'm
heart:sorry."
"Yeah?
Well,
heart:so
heart:was
heart:I."
heart:An
heart:uncomfortable
heart:silence
heart:descends.
heart:Silences,
heart:with
heart:him,
heart:are
heart:not
heart:like
heart:the
heart:ones
heart:with
heart:Charlie.
heart:They are
heart:brooding,
heart:unhappy
heart:gaps
heart:when
heart:he
heart:cannot
heart:think
heart:of
heart:what
heart:to
heart:say.
heart:Finally,
heart:he
heart:gets
heart:his
heart:questions
heart:going
heart:again.
"How
did
heart:he
heart:die?"
"Hit
and
heart:run."
"That's
really
heart:terrible.
heart:I'm
heart:very,
heart:very
heart:sorry."
"Why,
were
heart:you
heart:the
heart:driver?"
heart:My
heart:voice
heart:is
heart:much,
heart:much
heart:more
heart:bitter
heart:than
heart:I
heart:intend it
heart:to
heart:be.
heart:Another
heart:silence
heart:descends. "I'm
heart:sorry,"
heart:I
heart:finally
heart:say.
"Don't
be,"
heart:he
heart:says
heart:softly,
heart:kindly. "What
heart:was
heart:his
heart:name?"
"Derek,"
I
heart:half-whisper.
heart:All
heart:my
heart:masks
heart:are
heart:slipping
heart:away.
heart:My
heart:dancing
heart:tonight,
heart:my
heart:flying,
heart:has
heart:put
heart:chinks
heart:in
heart:my
heart:armor,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:doubt
heart:my
heart:own
heart:ability
heart:to
heart:be
heart:strong.
"You
loved
heart:him
heart:very
heart:much."
heart:Its
heart:not
heart:a
heart:question,
heart:but
heart:I nod,
heart:anyway.
heart:He
heart:stands,
heart:walks
heart:behind
heart:me
heart:as
heart:I
heart:bury
heart:my
heart:face
heart:in
heart:my
heart:hands,
heart:and
heart:his
heart:paws
heart:gently
heart:come
heart:to
heart:rest
heart:on
heart:my
heart:shoulders. "You're
heart:very
heart:beautiful,
heart:and
heart:you
heart:don't
heart:deserve
heart:to
heart:feel
heart:this
heart:much
heart:pain."
I
shiver,
heart:turn,
heart:and
heart:look
heart:up
heart:into
heart:his
heart:eyes.
heart:There
heart:I
heart:see...nothing;
heart:I
heart:don't
heart:mean
heart:anything
heart:to
heart:him.
heart:I'm
heart:just
heart:a
heart:sexy
heart:boy
heart:that
heart:caught
heart:his
heart:eye,
heart:a
heart:little
heart:distraction
heart:while
heart:he
heart:concludes
heart:a
heart:business
heart:deal
heart:in
heart:town,
heart:perhaps.
heart:I
heart:expected
heart:no
heart:more
heart:than
heart:that,
heart:and
heart:he
heart:does
heart:not
heart:disappoint
heart:me.
heart:I
heart:feel
heart:a
heart:little
heart:of
heart:the
heart:wax
heart:that
heart:held
heart:my
heart:wings
heart:together
heart:give
heart:way.
heart:It
heart:hurts
heart:me,
heart:because
heart:I
heart:know
heart:that
heart:he
heart:doesn't
heart:love
heart:me,
heart:but
heart:I
heart:decide
heart:to
heart:let
heart:him
heart:take
heart:the
heart:pain
heart:away,
heart:for
heart:a
heart:little
heart:while. He
heart:gently
heart:raises
heart:me
heart:out
heart:of
heart:the
heart:chair,
heart:and,
heart:without
heart:a
heart:word,
heart:leads
heart:me
heart:to
heart:the
heart:bedroom.
heart:I
heart:do
heart:not
heart:ask,
heart:or
heart:assent,
heart:but
heart:I
heart:let
heart:my
heart:clothes
heart:tumble
heart:down
heart:around
heart:me.
heart:He
heart:runs
heart:his
heart:hands
heart:over
heart:my
heart:body,
heart:gently,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:can
heart:tell
heart:he's
heart:done
heart:this
heart:many,
heart:many
heart:times
heart:before.
heart:I
heart:wonder,
heart:briefly,
heart:how
heart:many
heart:beautiful
heart:young
heart:men
heart:have
heart:submitted
heart:to
heart:his
heart:wisdom,
heart:his
heart:softness,
heart:his
heart:money.
heart:He
heart:lifts
heart:me
heart:in
heart:his
heart:arms,
heart:kissing
heart:my
heart:flat
heart:stomach,
heart:and
heart:I'm
heart:trembling,
heart:like
heart:a
heart:virgin,
heart:as
heart:he
heart:lays
heart:me
heart:down
heart:on
heart:the
heart:bed.
heart:It
heart:isn't
heart:fear
heart:or
heart:desire
heart:that
heart:make
heart:me
heart:shake,
heart:but
heart:the
heart:very
heart:definite
heart:feeling
heart:that
heart:my
heart:wings
heart:have
heart:melted
heart:away
heart:to
heart:nothing,
heart:and
heart:that
heart:I'm
heart:not
heart:falling
heart:back
heart:onto
heart:a
heart:bed,
heart:but
heart:into
heart:a
heart:cold,
heart:dark
heart:sea.
heart:I
heart:watch
heart:him
heart:disrobe,
heart:past
heart:caring
heart:at
heart:all
heart:what
heart:he
heart:looks
heart:like,
heart:and
heart:beg
heart:Derek's
heart:memory
heart:to
heart:forgive
heart:me.
To
his
heart:credit,
heart:when
heart:it's
heart:over,
heart:he
heart:holds
heart:me,
heart:gently,
heart:like
heart:a
heart:child,
heart:and
heart:I
heart:begin
heart:to
heart:think
heart:I
heart:might've
heart:been
heart:wrong
heart:about
heart:him.
heart:I
heart:do
heart:not
heart:sleep
heart:in
heart:his
heart:arms,
heart:but
heart:lie
heart:awake,
heart:listening
heart:to
heart:him
heart:breathe.
heart:I
heart:watch
heart:the
heart:dawn
heart:crawl
heart:up
heart:the
heart:sky
heart:and
heart:set
heart:the
heart:clouds
heart:on
heart:fire.
heart:He
heart:wakes
heart:up
heart:and
heart:smiles
heart:at
heart:me. "What
heart:time
heart:is
heart:it?"
I
glance
heart:over
heart:at
heart:the
heart:clock. "Eight
heart:AM?"
He
groans. "I
heart:have
heart:to
heart:get
heart:up.
heart:I
heart:have
heart:an
heart:important
heart:meeting
heart:this
heart:morning."
heart:He
heart:disentangles
heart:himself
heart:from me,
heart:takes
heart:fresh
heart:clothes
heart:out
heart:of
heart:the
heart:hotel
heart:dresser
heart:and
heart:turns
heart:to
heart:look
heart:at
heart:me. "Is
heart:there
heart:anything
heart:you
heart:want?
heart:Can I
heart:give
heart:you
heart:any
heart:money?"
I
feel
heart:my
heart:heart,
heart:not
heart:the
heart:glass
heart:one,
heart:but
heart:the
heart:far
heart:more
heart:fragile
heart:one
heart:beneath
heart:it,
heart:shudder
heart:and
heart:crack,
heart:a
heart:deep
heart:flaw
heart:running
heart:into
heart:it.
heart:I
heart:was
heart:right
heart:about
heart:him;
heart:I'm
heart:just
heart:another
heart:boy-whore
heart:to
heart:him. "No.
heart:No,
heart:I
heart:don't
heart:want
heart:anything."
"Can
I
heart:give
heart:you
heart:a
heart:lift
heart:somewhere?"
Translation:Translation:
I
Translation:want
Translation:you
Translation:out
Translation:of
Translation:the
Translation:hotel
Translation:room.
"Yes,
thanks.
Translation:To
Translation:my
Translation:apartment."
Silence
while
Translation:dressing.
Translation:Silence
Translation:in
Translation:the
Translation:elevator.
Translation:Silence
Translation:in
Translation:the
Translation:limo.
Translation:It
Translation:pulls
Translation:up
Translation:in
Translation:front
Translation:of
Translation:my
Translation:building,
Translation:and
Translation:I
Translation:step
Translation:out. "Will
Translation:I
Translation:see
Translation:you
Translation:again?"
Translation:I
Translation:have
Translation:to
Translation:ask.
He
looks
Translation:up
Translation:at
Translation:me.
Translation:I
Translation:can
Translation:see
Translation:the "no"
Translation:in
Translation:his
Translation:eyes. "Will
Translation:you
Translation:be
Translation:dancing
Translation:tonight?"
"Yes."
"I'll
try
Translation:to
Translation:come
Translation:by
Translation:the
Translation:club."
Translation:We
Translation:both
Translation:know
Translation:its
Translation:not
Translation:true,
Translation:but
Translation:I nod.
"Goodbye,
Tyrone."
He
says
Translation:nothing
Translation:more,
Translation:but
Translation:closes
Translation:his
Translation:door,
Translation:disappearing
Translation:behind
Translation:tinted
Translation:windows.
Translation:I
Translation:watch
Translation:his
Translation:limo
Translation:pull
Translation:away,
Translation:then
Translation:walk
Translation:upstairs
Translation:to
Translation:my
Translation:apartment.
Translation:I
Translation:flop
Translation:into
Translation:bed
Translation:and,
Translation:when
Translation:next
Translation:I
Translation:look,
Translation:the
Translation:sun
Translation:has
Translation:set.
Translation:I
Translation:pull
Translation:myself
Translation:out
Translation:of
Translation:bed
Translation:and
Translation:prepare
Translation:to
Translation:head
Translation:to
Translation:the
Translation:club.
Translation:Something
Translation:compels
Translation:me
Translation:to
Translation:touch
Translation:the
Translation:shoes
Translation:my
Translation:father
Translation:gave
Translation:me,
Translation:and
Translation:they
Translation:seem
Translation:warm
Translation:to
Translation:my
Translation:touch.
Translation:Without
Translation:any
Translation:real
Translation:idea
Translation:why,
Translation:I
Translation:take
Translation:them
Translation:down
Translation:off
Translation:the
Translation:wall
Translation:and
Translation:carry
Translation:them
Translation:with
Translation:me
Translation:to
Translation:the
Translation:club.
Translation:Charlie
Translation:is
Translation:there,
Translation:and
Translation:he
Translation:can
Translation:see
Translation:from
Translation:my
Translation:face
Translation:how
Translation:things
Translation:went,
Translation:so
Translation:he
Translation:doesn't
Translation:bother
Translation:asking.
Translation:He
Translation:just
Translation:hugs
Translation:me,
Translation:then
Translation:goes
Translation:back
Translation:to
Translation:the
Translation:task
Translation:of
Translation:preparing
Translation:the
Translation:lighting
Translation:for
Translation:the
Translation:evening.
Translation:I
Translation:flop
Translation:into
Translation:my
Translation:dressing
Translation:room,
Translation:and
Translation:remain
Translation:blessedly
Translation:free
Translation:of
Translation:Louis
Translation:while
Translation:I
Translation:get
Translation:myself
Translation:together.
I
stare
Translation:at
Translation:myself
Translation:in
Translation:the
Translation:mirror,
Translation:touching
Translation:the
Translation:glass
Translation:heart,
Translation:and
Translation:wish
Translation:that the
Translation:world
Translation:would
Translation:just
Translation:go
Translation:away.
Translation:A
Translation:single
Translation:tear
Translation:drips
Translation:down
Translation:my
Translation:cheek.
Translation:I
Translation:close
Translation:my
Translation:fingers
Translation:around
Translation:the
Translation:heart
Translation:and
Translation:shut
Translation:my
Translation:eyes.
Translation:Derek
Translation:is
Translation:so
Translation:close
Translation:to
Translation:me
Translation:that
Translation:I
Translation:can
Translation:almost
Translation:smell
Translation:him,
Translation:and
Translation:I
Translation:can
Translation:hear
Translation:his
Translation:voice
Translation:in
Translation:my
Translation:ears. "I
Translation:love
Translation:you,
Translation:sweet
Translation:dancer,
Translation:and
Translation:I'll
Translation:always
Translation:be
Translation:with
Translation:you."
Translation:Another
Translation:tear
Translation:sneaks
Translation:out
Translation:from
Translation:behind
Translation:my
Translation:lashes. "You
Translation:might
Translation:not
Translation:always
Translation:see
Translation:me,
Translation:but
Translation:I'll
Translation:be
Translation:there."
Translation:Derek.
Translation:My
Translation:heart,
Translation:cold
Translation:for
Translation:so
Translation:long,
Translation:starts
Translation:to
Translation:warm,
Translation:and
Translation:I
Translation:hug
Translation:myself
Translation:tightly,
Translation:imagining
Translation:his
Translation:arms.
Charlie
knocks
Translation:on
Translation:the
Translation:door
Translation:and
Translation:comes
Translation:in. "That
Translation:bad?"
Translation:he
Translation:asks,
Translation:softly.
Translation:There is
Translation:a
Translation:flood
Translation:of
Translation:tears
Translation:streaking
Translation:down
Translation:my
Translation:cheeks,
Translation:but,
Translation:somehow,
Translation:I
Translation:smile
Translation:through
Translation:it
Translation:all.
"Charlie,
is
Translation:it
Translation:okay
Translation:to
Translation:hold
Translation:onto
Translation:a
Translation:memory
Translation:of
Translation:someone
Translation:you
Translation:love?"
"Course
it
Translation:is!
Translation:God,
Translation:y'know
Translation:what
Translation:keeps
Translation:me
Translation:going?
Translation:I
Translation:think
Translation:about
Translation:my
Translation:little
Translation:brother.
Translation:He's
Translation:been
Translation:dead
Translation:since
Translation:I
Translation:was
Translation:twenty,
Translation:but
Translation:I'm
Translation:never
Translation:gonna
Translation:stop
Translation:thinking
Translation:about
Translation:him.
Translation:I
Translation:love
Translation:him,
Translation:and,
Translation:sometimes,
Translation:it
Translation:feels
Translation:like
Translation:he's
Translation:right there with me, y'know?"
"Sometimes, it feels like Derek's still
here,
Translation:with
Translation:me."
"He
always
Translation:will
Translation:be,
Translation:kid.
Translation:I
Translation:never
Translation:knew
Translation:anyone
Translation:who
Translation:loved
Translation:anyone
Translation:else
Translation:as
Translation:much
Translation:as
Translation:he
Translation:loved
Translation:you.
Translation:And
Translation:I
Translation:know
Translation:you
Translation:were
Translation:nuts
Translation:about
Translation:him.
Translation:You
Translation:guys're
Translation:never
Translation:gonna
Translation:be
Translation:apart,
Translation:really.
Translation:Just
Translation:don't
Translation:let
Translation:that
Translation:ruin
Translation:the
Translation:rest
Translation:of
Translation:your
Translation:life."
"What
was
Translation:your
Translation:brother
Translation:like?"
Charlie
sighs,
Translation:softly. "A
Translation:lot
Translation:like
Translation:you.
Translation:He
Translation:loved
Translation:dancing.
Translation:And
Translation:he
Translation:was
Translation:really
Translation:sensitive.
Translation:And
Translation:he
Translation:was
Translation:cute,
Translation:and
Translation:he
Translation:needed
Translation:a
Translation:big
Translation:brother
Translation:to
Translation:keep
Translation:an
Translation:eye
Translation:on
Translation:him."
Translation:He
Translation:shrugs. "A
Translation:lot
Translation:like
Translation:you."
I
stand,
Translation:hug
Translation:him,
Translation:and
Translation:kiss
Translation:his
Translation:cheek.
Translation:He
Translation:kisses
Translation:my
Translation:forehead,
Translation:tenderly,
Translation:then
Translation:turns
Translation:to
Translation:leave. "Thanks,
Translation:big
Translation:bro,"
Translation:I
Translation:say
Translation:with
Translation:a
Translation:smile.
Translation:He
Translation:pauses
Translation:in
Translation:the
Translation:doorway,
Translation:smiles
Translation:at
Translation:me,
Translation:fondly,
Translation:and
Translation:then
Translation:walks
Translation:out. I
Translation:look back
Translation:in
Translation:the
Translation:mirror,
Translation:and,
Translation:for
Translation:the
Translation:first
Translation:time
Translation:in
Translation:a
Translation:long
Translation:time,
Translation:I
Translation:recognize
Translation:myself.
Translation:I
Translation:have
Translation:to
Translation:get
Translation:ready.
Translation:I
Translation:have
Translation:a
Translation:lot
Translation:of
Translation:things
Translation:to
Translation:do.
Translation:I
Translation:pick
Translation:up
Translation:my
Translation:magick
Translation:slippers
Translation:and,
Translation:carefully,
Translation:start
Translation:to
Translation:lace
Translation:them
Translation:on
Translation:my
Translation:feet.
When
I
Translation:come
Translation:out
Translation:of
Translation:the
Translation:room,
Translation:I
Translation:run
Translation:into
Translation:Charlie,
Translation:lugging
Translation:CDs
Translation:to
Translation:the
Translation:DJ. "Hey,"
Translation:he
Translation:calls, "what
Translation:do
Translation:you
Translation:want
Translation:to
Translation:dance
Translation:to
Translation:tonight?"
I
ponder. "How about B.B.Wolf
Translation:and
Translation:the
Translation:Midnight
Translation:Howlers?
Translation:That
Translation:song
Translation:about
Translation:loneliness."
He
cocks
Translation:his
Translation:head,
Translation:curiously. "That's
Translation:pretty,
Translation:but
Translation:kind
Translation:of
Translation:a
Translation:downer."
Nodding,
I head
Translation:for
Translation:the
Translation:stage
Translation:area. "I
Translation:have
Translation:something
Translation:special
Translation:in
Translation:mind,"
Translation:I
Translation:call
Translation:back
Translation:to
Translation:him.
After
a
Translation:million
Translation:years
Translation:of
Translation:watching
Translation:the
Translation:other
Translation:boys
Translation:thrust
Translation:themselves
Translation:at
Translation:the
Translation:audience,
Translation:I
Translation:hear
Translation:Louis
Translation:introducing
Translation:me,
Translation:and
Translation:I
Translation:walk
Translation:onstage.
Translation:I
Translation:have
Translation:on
Translation:a
Translation:leather
Translation:jacket,
Translation:open
Translation:in
Translation:the
Translation:front,
Translation:a
Translation:loose
Translation:pair
Translation:of
Translation:shorts over a
Translation:speedo,
Translation:the
Translation:slippers
Translation:from
Translation:my
Translation:wall,
Translation:and
Translation:my
Translation:glass
Translation:heart.
Translation:I
Translation:also
Translation:wear
Translation:my
Translation:flying
Translation:dreams,
Translation:but
Translation:nobody
Translation:can
Translation:see
Translation:those.
Translation:I
Translation:hear
Translation:the
Translation:first
Translation:few
Translation:notes
Translation:of
Translation:the
Translation:song,
Translation:and
Translation:then
Translation:B.B.'s
Translation:voice
Translation:slides
Translation:in,
Translation:low
Translation:and
Translation:smooth.
Translation:The
Translation:voice of
Translation:someone
Translation:who
Translation:knows
Translation:pain
Translation:as
Translation:well
Translation:as
Translation:I
Translation:do.
I'm
sitting
Translation:here,
Translation:tonight,
Translation:and
Translation:I
Translation:know
Translation:you're
Translation:far
Translation:away,
But
I
Translation:guess,
Translation:if
Translation:I
Translation:have
Translation:to,
Translation:I
Translation:can
Translation:wait
Translation:another
Translation:day.
But
don't
Translation:you
Translation:wait
Translation:forever
Translation:to
Translation:knock
Translation:upon
Translation:my
Translation:door,
'Cause
I
Translation:can
Translation:feel
Translation:the
Translation:loneliness,
Translation:like
Translation:waves
Translation:upon
Translation:the
Translation:shore.
I
start
Translation:to
Translation:sway,
Translation:my
Translation:body
Translation:slowly
Translation:undulating
Translation:in
Translation:time
Translation:with
Translation:the
Translation:music.
Translation:B.B's
Translation:voice
Translation:sings
Translation:through
Translation:me,
Translation:making
Translation:me
Translation:ache
Translation:deep
Translation:inside.
Translation:Tonight,
Translation:I
Translation:dance
Translation:for
Translation:Derek,
Translation:and
Translation:for
Translation:myself,
Translation:and
Translation:no
Translation:one
Translation:else.
Translation:I
Translation:feel
Translation:a
Translation:fierce,
Translation:independent
Translation:smile
Translation:begin,
Translation:and
Translation:I
Translation:do
Translation:not
Translation:try
Translation:to
Translation:stop
Translation:it.
Don't
answer
Translation:my
Translation:call,
Don't
answer
Translation:me
Translation:at
Translation:all,
Don't
try
Translation:to
Translation:heal
Translation:my
Translation:heart,
'Cause
I
Translation:knew
Translation:at
Translation:the
Translation:start...
The
music
Translation:changes,
Translation:becoming
Translation:faster,
Translation:more
Translation:energetic.
Translation:I
Translation:close
Translation:my
Translation:eyes,
Translation:feeling
Translation:the
Translation:rhythm
Translation:deep
Translation:down
Translation:in
Translation:my
Translation:soul.
Translation:I
Translation:can
Translation:dance
Translation:without
Translation:my
Translation:eyes;
Translation:I'm
Translation:wearing
Translation:my
Translation:glass
Translation:heart
Translation:and
Translation:my
Translation:magick
Translation:slippers.
Translation:Tonight,
Translation:I
Translation:can
Translation:fly,
Translation:and
Translation:I
Translation:do
Translation:not
Translation:need
Translation:to
Translation:see
Translation:anything.
Without
you,
Translation:I'd
Translation:be
Translation:lonely,
And
without
Translation:you,
Translation:I'll
Translation:be
Translation:only
Killing
time.
My
motions
Translation:follow
Translation:the
Translation:music,
Translation:draw it
Translation:in,
Translation:and
Translation:use
Translation:it
Translation:to
Translation:fly.
Translation:I
Translation:am
Translation:Nijinsky,
Translation:beloved
Translation:by
Translation:my
Translation:audience,
Translation:even
Translation:if
Translation:they
Translation:don't
Translation:know
Translation:exactly
Translation:who
Translation:I
Translation:am.
Translation:The
Translation:notes
Translation:soar,
Translation:and
Translation:I
Translation:lift
Translation:off
Translation:the
Translation:stage,
Translation:leaping
Translation:high
Translation:into
Translation:the
Translation:air,
Translation:soaring
Translation:with
Translation:them.
But
I
Translation:won't
Translation:be
Translation:defeated,
'Cause
this
Translation:won't
Translation:be
Translation:repeated,
Because
I'm...
Derek, I
mouth
Translation:silently,
Translation:leaping
Translation:off
Translation:the
Translation:stage
Translation:again,
Translation:flying
Translation:high
Translation:above
Translation:the
Translation:footlights.
Not
lonely
Translation:any more.
Not
lonely
Translation:any
Translation:more.
Not
lonely…
Any…
More.
The
audience
Translation:gapes.
Translation:They have
Translation:never
Translation:seen
Translation:me
Translation:dance
Translation:like
Translation:this
Translation:before.
Translation:I
Translation:leap
Translation:almost
Translation:offstage,
Translation:landing
Translation:just
Translation:on
Translation:the
Translation:edge,
Translation:my
Translation:toes
Translation:touching
Translation:only
Translation:thin
Translation:air
Translation:while
Translation:my
Translation:heels
Translation:grip
Translation:the
Translation:wood.
Translation:I
Translation:slowly
Translation:slide
Translation:down
Translation:as
Translation:the
Translation:Midnight
Translation:Howlers
Translation:fill
Translation:the
Translation:gap
Translation:between
Translation:verses
Translation:in
Translation:the
Translation:song.
Translation:I
Translation:arch
Translation:my
Translation:back,
Translation:displaying
Translation:my
Translation:body
Translation:to
Translation:them,
Translation:then
Translation:flip
Translation:backwards
Translation:into
Translation:a
Translation:split
Translation:on
Translation:the
Translation:floor.
Translation:With
Translation:a
Translation:flick
Translation:of
Translation:my
Translation:legs
Translation:and
Translation:tail,
Translation:I
Translation:rise
Translation:back
Translation:to
Translation:my
Translation:feet,
Translation:seemingly
Translation:by
Translation:magic,
Translation:and
Translation:there
Translation:is
Translation:magic
Translation:in
Translation:my
Translation:dance
Translation:tonight.
Translation:It
Translation:shines
Translation:in
Translation:every
Translation:step
Translation:I
Translation:take,
Translation:and
Translation:it
Translation:burns
Translation:in
Translation:every
Translation:twirl
Translation:and
Translation:leap.
Translation:The
Translation:audience is
Translation:in
Translation:awe
Translation:of
Translation:it,
Translation:and,
Translation:more,
Translation:they
Translation:are
Translation:disturbed
Translation:by
Translation:it.
Translation:I am
Translation:not
Translation:a
Translation:victim
Translation:for
Translation:them
Translation:any more.
Translation:Now,
Translation:I am
Translation:the
Translation:strong
Translation:one.
Translation:I am
Translation:the
Translation:aggressor.
It’s
not
Translation:that
Translation:I
Translation:don't
Translation:want
Translation:you,
Translation:girl,
Translation:or
Translation:that
Translation:there's
Translation:someone
Translation:new,
But
I
Translation:won't
Translation:be
Translation:ignored
Translation:or
Translation:shunned
Translation:or
Translation:shelved
Translation:away
Translation:by
Translation:you.
So
if
Translation:you
Translation:want
Translation:to
Translation:keep
Translation:me,
Translation:I
Translation:suggest
Translation:you
Translation:pay
Translation:a
Translation:call,
Or
else
Translation:you'll
Translation:find
Translation:that
Translation:I'm
Translation:not
Translation:scared
Translation:of
Translation:loneliness
Translation:at
Translation:all.
I
pull
Translation:off
Translation:the
Translation:jacket
Translation:and
Translation:let
Translation:it
Translation:fall,
Translation:sliding
Translation:my
Translation:hands
Translation:over
Translation:the
Translation:fur
Translation:of
Translation:my
Translation:chest
Translation:and
Translation:down
Translation:over
Translation:the
Translation:shorts.
Translation:They are
Translation:too
Translation:stunned
Translation:by
Translation:me
Translation:to
Translation:want
Translation:me
Translation:tonight.
Translation:They
Translation:almost
Translation:fear
Translation:me;
Translation:they
Translation:fear
Translation:the
Translation:power
Translation:and
Translation:independence
Translation:I'm
Translation:showing
Translation:them
Translation:tonight.
Translation:In
Translation:the
Translation:past
Translation:they
Translation:were
Translation:always
Translation:able
Translation:to
Translation:believe
Translation:that
Translation:I
Translation:needed
Translation:them,
Translation:but,
Translation:tonight,
Translation:I am
Translation:showing
Translation:them
Translation:that
Translation:I
Translation:do
Translation:not
Translation:need
Translation:anybody.
Translation:Nobody
Translation:living
Translation:owns
Translation:me,
Translation:and
Translation:I am
Translation:finally
Translation:free
Translation:of
Translation:my
Translation:beloved
Translation:ghost.
Translation:My
Translation:life,
Translation:and
Translation:I
Translation:am
Translation:truly
Translation:alive,
Translation:is
Translation:my
Translation:own.
I
won't
Translation:answer
Translation:your
Translation:call,
Or
answer
Translation:you
Translation:at
Translation:all,
Or
seek
Translation:your
Translation:heart.
We
knew
Translation:from
Translation:the
Translation:start...
I
pull
Translation:the
Translation:shorts
Translation:down,
Translation:revealing
Translation:the
Translation:tight
Translation:speedo
Translation:beneath.
Translation:I
Translation:am
Translation:aroused,
Translation:thrilled
Translation:by
Translation:the
Translation:sheer
Translation:feeling
Translation:of
Translation:freedom,
Translation:and
Translation:the
Translation:sight
Translation:of
Translation:me
Translation:makes
Translation:a
Translation:few
Translation:of
Translation:the
Translation:men
Translation:moan.
Translation:They have
Translation:started
Translation:to
Translation:want
Translation:me
Translation:again,
Translation:but
Translation:its
Translation:different,
Translation:now.
Translation:Now
Translation:I have
Translation:shown
Translation:them
Translation:that
Translation:I am
Translation:not
Translation:an
Translation:innocent
Translation:boy,
Translation:but
Translation:a
Translation:man,
Translation:with
Translation:desires
Translation:of
Translation:my
Translation:own
Translation:and
Translation:a
Translation:passion
Translation:to
Translation:match
Translation:theirs.
Translation:I
Translation:have
Translation:thrown
Translation:the
Translation:gauntlet,
Translation:and
Translation:a
Translation:few
Translation:have
Translation:begun
Translation:to
Translation:rise
Translation:to
Translation:the
Translation:challenge.
Translation:Maybe
Translation:I'll
Translation:take
Translation:them
Translation:up
Translation:on
Translation:their
Translation:offers
Translation:now,
Translation:and
Translation:maybe
Translation:I
Translation:won't,
Translation:but,
Translation:it
Translation:will
Translation:be
Translation:on
Translation:my
Translation:terms,
Translation:now.
You're
the
Translation:one
Translation:who's
Translation:lonely.
When
I'm
Translation:alone,
Translation:I'm
Translation:only
Killing
time.
I
rip
Translation:the
Translation:thong
Translation:away
Translation:and
Translation:caress
Translation:myself
Translation:from
Translation:head
Translation:to
Translation:toe,
Translation:my
Translation:hands
Translation:moving
Translation:in
Translation:counterpoint
Translation:to
Translation:one
Translation:another
Translation:and
Translation:to
Translation:my
Translation:body
Translation:which
Translation:never
Translation:stops
Translation:dancing.
Translation:I
Translation:have
Translation:never
Translation:enjoyed
Translation:the
Translation:feeling
Translation:of
Translation:dancing
Translation:more
Translation:than
Translation:I
Translation:do
Translation:now.
I
can't
Translation:be
Translation:defeated,
And
this
Translation:won't
Translation:be
Translation:repeated,
Because
I'm...
I
fly
Translation:off
Translation:the
Translation:stage
Translation:one
Translation:more
Translation:time
Translation:and
Translation:land,
Translation:for
Translation:once,
Translation:in
Translation:the
Translation:audience,
Translation:daring
Translation:them
Translation:to
Translation:touch
Translation:me.
Translation:They
Translation:gasp,
Translation:and
Translation:Charlie
Translation:scrambles
Translation:to
Translation:follow
Translation:me
Translation:with
Translation:the
Translation:pin-spot.
Translation:I
Translation:move
Translation:amongst
Translation:them,
Translation:but
Translation:they
Translation:keep
Translation:their
Translation:hands
Translation:to
Translation:themselves.
Translation:Some
Translation:of
Translation:them
Translation:cannot
Translation:even
Translation:look
Translation:at
Translation:me,
Translation:but
Translation:one
Translation:does,
Translation:and
Translation:he
Translation:watches
Translation:me
Translation:with
Translation:a
Translation:foreign
Translation:look
Translation:in
Translation:his
Translation:eye.
Translation:It is
Translation:Charlie,
Translation:his
Translation:eyes
Translation:shining.
Translation:He
Translation:alone
Translation:is
Translation:really
Translation:watching
Translation:me.
Not
lonely
Translation:any more!
He
is
Translation:watching
Translation:me
Translation:dance.
Translation:Not
Translation:lusting
Translation:or
Translation:fantasizing,
Translation:but
Translation:loving
Translation:the
Translation:dance
Translation:itself.
Not
lonely
Translation:any more!
Like
Derek
Translation:used
Translation:to
Translation:do.
Not
lonely
Tonight,
I
Translation:dance
Translation:for
Translation:Charlie,
Translation:for
Translation:me,
Translation:and
Translation:to
Translation:lay
Translation:Derek's
Translation:ghost
Translation:to
Translation:rest.
Translation:The
Translation:rest
Translation:of
Translation:the
Translation:world
Translation:can
Translation:watch,
Translation:but
Translation:they're
Translation:unimportant.
Any…
Goodbye,
Derek.
More.
And
I
Translation:feel
Translation:his
Translation:ghost
Translation:retreat,
Translation:even
Translation:as
Translation:I
Translation:know
Translation:it'll
Translation:be
Translation:okay.
Translation:I
Translation:don't
Translation:have
Translation:anyone,
Translation:right
Translation:now,
Translation:but
Translation:that's
Translation:not
Translation:a
Translation:bad
Translation:thing
Translation:any more.
Translation:The
Translation:next
Translation:time
Translation:I
Translation:go
Translation:looking,
Translation:I
Translation:know that
Translation:Derek
Translation:will
Translation:be
Translation:with
Translation:me,
Translation:but
Translation:not
Translation:hovering in
Translation:my
Translation:heart,
Translation:keeping
Translation:it
Translation:glass
Translation:and
Translation:fragile.
Translation:I
Translation:can
Translation:fly on
Translation:my
Translation:own
Translation:now,
Translation:Derek,
Translation:and
Translation:I'll
Translation:dance
Translation:so
Translation:strongly
Translation:and
Translation:fly
Translation:so
Translation:high,
Translation:that
Translation:they
Translation:will
Translation:say
Translation:that
Translation:even
Translation:Nijinsky
Translation:was
Translation:clumsy
Translation:and
Translation:earthbound
Translation:compared
Translation:to
Translation:me.
Translation:My
Translation:slippers
Translation:click
Translation:together,
Translation:apart,
Translation:or
Translation:anywhere
Translation:I
Translation:choose,
Translation:so
Translation:long
Translation:as
Translation:I
Translation:choose
Translation:where
Translation:they
Translation:touch.
Translation:I
Translation:am
Translation:a
Translation:dancer,
Translation:and
Translation:I am
Translation:at
Translation:home
Translation:on
Translation:the
Translation:stage.
Translation:Will
Translation:I
Translation:find
Translation:someone
Translation:else?
Translation:Right
Translation:now,
Translation:it
Translation:doesn't
Translation:matter.
Translation:I
Translation:have
Translation:Charlie,
Translation:and
Translation:my
Translation:memories,
Translation:and
Translation:my
Translation:dreams.
Translation:And
Translation:my
Translation:dancing.
Ah,
the
Translation:dancing!
When I dance,
all
Translation:the
Translation:rest
Translation:of
Translation:it
Translation:ceases
Translation:to
Translation:matter.
Translation:My
Translation:glass
Translation:heart
Translation:could
Translation:shatter,
Translation:my
Translation:flying
Translation:dreams
Translation:could
Translation:unravel,
Translation:and
Translation:my
Translation:magic
Translation:slippers
Translation:could
Translation:rot
Translation:to
Translation:dust.
Translation:When
Translation:all
Translation:is
Translation:said
Translation:and
Translation:done,
Translation:I'll
Translation:still
Translation:be
Translation:dancing.
And
when I dance,
Translation:I
Translation:dance
Translation:alone.
This
was “Icarus
Translation:Dreams,
Translation:a
Translation:Glass
Translation:Heart,
Translation:and
Translation:Slippers
Translation:to
Translation:Take
Translation:Me
Translation:Home”
Translation:by
Translation:Andrew “Aethan”
Translation:French,
Translation:read
Translation:for you
Translation:by
Translation:the
Translation:Author.
Translation:You
Translation:can
Translation:find
Translation:more
Translation:stories
Translation:on
Translation:the
Translation:web
Translation:at
Translation:thevoice.dog,
Translation:or
Translation:find
Translation:the
Translation:show
Translation:wherever
Translation:you
Translation:get
Translation:your
Translation:podcasts.
Translation:Thank
Translation:you
Translation:for
Translation:listening
Translation:to
Translation:The
Translation:Voice
Translation:of
Translation:Dog.